


You, me, and a car full of shit

by Ragequit4



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad Jokes, Dancing, Drinking, Eventual Relationships, F/F, F/M, First Day of Summer, Fist Fights, House Party, Lots of music crammed in, M/M, Ocean, Other, Pursuing dreams, Road Trips, Sharing Boyfriends, Sharing a Bed, Smoking, Stupid friends doing stupid things, Swearing, mostly happy fic, slight mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 21:57:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 65,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1403929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ragequit4/pseuds/Ragequit4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“YO! Kirschtein!” Eren’s voice filtered through the speaker and made Jean wince at the volume.<br/>Jean furrowed his brows and contorted his face into something resembling a scowl. “Th’ fuck Eren?”<br/>“Let’s get outta here! Go someplace fun!” That man had too much enthusiasm for this hour.<br/>“Dude, it’s like 3:30 in the morning,” Jean complained.<br/>“So I’m assuming you’re not busy?” Eren asked. Jean could tell he was grinning, so satisfied. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eren drags Jean on a road trip with no destination, and Jean decides there are worse fates than this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The night we left

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own shit!
> 
> This is not my first fanfiction, but it may be the first one I finish in writing. I always come up with a bunch of headcannons, write out a plot, draw up different scenarios, and start these things in my notebook, but with no one to read them I just end up saving them in the depths of my laptop. I think having this out here on the internets may give me enough incentive to actually write down the whole story. If this works out well I'll put my others up. 
> 
> The point of view is a little weird. It's third person, but switches among a few characters. It's mainly Eren and Jean though.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! (ノ*゜▽゜*)

Buzzing sounds cut though the darkness and made Jean jump, the sound effectively jarring him from peaceful sleep. He complained sleepily and groped around the edge of his desk looking for his phone. His fingers brushed against the keyboard before the phone slipped off the edge and clattered on the floor, still buzzing insistently. Jean gave up and draped an arm over his face waiting for his voicemail to kick in. When the buzzing stopped, Jean rolled over and snuggled deeper into the blankets letting only a tuft of his chestnut hair stuck out the top.

He let out a frustrated sigh when the buzzing started again. He rolled over to face the irritating noise. The washed-out green light of his digital clock fell over the room giving him just enough light to make out the edge of his desk and bed. The numbers read 3:24 am. Glancing over the edge of the mattress Jean watched the small device as it danced around the floor, the vibrations carrying it almost under the bed. He reached down but it was just past his fingertips. 

Jean let out a string of unintelligible curses as the phone began ringing a third time. He kicked his bare feet over the edge of the bed and lowered himself to the floor, blankets wrapped around him like a cocoon. He reached for the small device that was the devil’s incarnate at this hour of the night, and answered without looking at the caller ID. He brought the phone to the side of his head and mumbled a greeting.

“YO! Kirschtein!” Eren’s voice filtered through the speaker and made Jean wince at the volume. 

Jean furrowed his brows and contorted his face into something resembling a scowl. “Th’ fuck Eren?”

“Let’s get outta here! Go someplace fun!” That man had too much enthusiasm for this hour.

“Dude, it’s like 3:30 in the morning,” Jean complained.

“So I’m assuming you’re not busy?” Eren asked. Jean could tell he was grinning, so satisfied. 

Jean groaned. “I am busy. I’m sleeping. Go to bed.” 

Eren just laughed at the other end of the line. “No way! I’ll be over in like fifteen minutes.” Jean began to protest, but his words were met with silence. 

“God damnit…” Jean let his head fall back against the bed.

Jean woke up to someone shaking his shoulder. He was sitting in the same spot as when he hung up his phone, but he had fallen sideways after he fell back asleep. He cracked open his eyes and peered up into the bright overhead light at the person waking him. He was greeted with a familiar head of scruffy brown hair and a pair of bright emerald eyes that stood out immensely against deep olive skin. 

“Get out Eren…” he mumbled.

Eren snickered a little. “You look like a burrito.” He let Jean get comfortable again before taking hold of the edge of the blanket and yanking it away from the latter. Jean yelped at little at the sudden cold hitting his bare chest and shivered. 

“Jeager! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Jean spat as he got up from the floor.

Eren just rolled his eyes. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? You had like twenty minutes to get ready, fuckwad.” He motioned at Jeans pajama pants and bedhead. 

Jean scratched at his undercut and picked up a random sweatshirt from the floor and put it on, relishing in the returned warmth. “I didn’t agree to go anywhere with you! Why are you here?!” Jean paused for a moment. “How did you get in?” he asked genuinely curious and slightly concerned. They lived in a poorer part of Trost and he, Marco, Connie always made sure to lock their door.

He looked at Eren who was wearing the biggest shit-eating grin he’d ever laid eyes on. “Hanji taught me how to pick locks.”

Jean inwardly mourned for the loss of his sanctuary. If Eren could now pick locks then no place was safe from him. He frowned. “Those people are a bad influence on you.”

“Oh please. You’re just jealous of Levi.” Eren joked. 

Jean crossed his arms. “Oh yeah, cuz I totally wanna take it up the ass from you. How ‘bout not. I’m straight if you’ve forgotten. Plus you are like the biggest ass ever.” Eren frowned. “Either way I’m not going out right now.”

“Come on! It’ll be fun!” Eren almost pleaded a slight grin returning to prove his point. 

“Go home.” Jean said firmly as Eren tossed him his own duffle bag and began digging around his room. 

“Go grab your toothbrush and your lighter,” was all Eren retorted with. He was obviously not taking no for an answer. When Jean didn’t move he sighed. “Fine I’ll look for them myself.” As Eren disappeared down the hallway, Jean tossed his bag onto the foot of his bed and laid down. He began dozing and just let Eren do his thing. He was vaguely aware of the brunet standing over him after a few minutes.

Jean opened his eyes and glanced up at Eren, then down to the foot of his bed where his previously empty duffle bag was stuffed full. His room was significantly cleaner than it was a few minutes ago with many of his clothes picked up and put into the bag. He returned his gaze to Eren, and green eyes met his amber ones. “What are you doing?” Jean asked.

“Going somewhere. I want you to come with.” Eren answered, all traces of his usual demeanor gone.

Jean raised an eyebrow. “It looks like that bag is packed for a week or two. Where are we even going?” Eren didn’t answer this time. Jean went for a different approach. “Does Mikasa know?”

Eren shook his head. “Just you.” He broke his gaze away from Jean and looked outside the window over the desk. “I’ll be in the car.” He then turned and walked out. Jean sat up and stared at the door. That bastard was dead fucking serious about skipping town.

Eren sat in the front seat of his and Mikasa’s shared rusty pickup. The engine hummed quietly as he rested his head against the steering wheel. He groaned. There’s no way Jean would go for this. He was just thinking of leaving when a noise cut through his thoughts. He jerked up when someone tapped loudly on the window. Jean frowned at him through the pane of glass and opened the door. He seated himself in the passenger seat, his pajama pants and sweatshirt replaced with jeans and a ratty looking jacket. Jean tossed his bag into the back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You’re coming with?” Eren asked unsurely.

“Whatever. My shit’s already packed, and I don’t have to drive.” Jean stated. Eren couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “I just have one thing to drop at your house.” Jean held up a sealed envelope. Eren’s smile dropped and was about to protest when Jean cut him off. “Calm down. I’m not telling her where you are or anything.” Eren visibly relaxed. He was wary but decided to just let Jean have his way. 

Eren replied with a quick, “Okay,” and pulled out of the parking spot. When they arrived at Eren’s house, Jean got out and slipped the envelope into the mail slot. He got back in the car and the pair drove away.

The morning was silent and neither opted for the radio. Jean watched Eren through the corner of his eye. He hadn’t noticed before, but the brunet looked totally wrecked. Dark circles rimmed his eyes and he was a bit paler than his usual warm glow, probably hadn’t slept at all that night, maybe not the night before either. Something was obviously bothering him, but Jean didn’t feel like pressing for details. He watched Eren and decided the punk was fine to drive. Soon enough he found himself being lulled into a comfortable doze.

At one point he felt Eren’s gaze on him. Jean grinned like a douchebag and said, “I know I’m the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen, but eyes on the road, Jeager.” Eren snorted and complied.

Yeah, something was definitely up. Jean wasn’t worried though; Eren would tell him when he felt like it.


	2. The morning you almost talked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren keeps secrets and Jean is a dork. They are not good role models.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own shit!
> 
> This chapter went a bit slowly and I actually finished the third chapter before this one so I can upload it at the same time. I think Eren's a bit out of character since he's so tolerant of Jean's shit in this chapter, but I guess he does have his reasons. Jean on the other hand is a as big of a nerd as he usually is. The stunt he pulled with the cigarettes later in the chapter is something one of my friends tried once and it was the funniest thing ever! 
> 
> I always end up listening to the same songs over and over again when writing anything in particular and that usually becomes the overall mood for the piece. Here's the playlist in case you wanna listen:  
> Take a Walk - Passion Pit  
> Pompeii - Bastille  
> Youth - Daughter  
> Sun - Two Door Cinema Club  
> Dosed - Red Hot Chili Peppers  
> He's a Rebel - The Morning Benders
> 
> I am also procrastinating hardcore on my homework and want to write this instead of drawing eggs and mugs for a still life. College kinda blows right now... (ONE MOAR MONTH AGGGHHHHH!) For the duration of this fic I plan on updating every couple days based on when I have time to write, but when finals come around I may have to take a break from this.
> 
> Anyways,  
> Hope you enjoy! \\(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)/"

Jean was woken up for a third time that night by Eren as he shook Jean’s shoulder gently. They were at a filthy looking gas station. Jean squinted, though the light was not all that bright; even Eren’s rich colors looked bleached by the grimy florescent lights. It was still dark in the distance and Jean began to wonder how long he slept. He gave Eren an inquisitive look. 

“Don’t tell me you need gas money too.” 

Eren glared. “No, you fuck! Do you want anything from inside?”

“Coffee if they have it.” Eren nodded and disappeared into the store. Jean glanced around; he had no clue where they were. It was still very dark but some birds chirping in the trees across the street signaled that dawn was not too far off. Jean didn’t bother looking at the time, but rather slid into the driver’s seat. Eren stepped out of the store a few minutes later and raised an eyebrow as he walked back, a small bag of food and Jean’s coffee in hands. 

Eren opened the passenger side door and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Driving.” He took his coffee from Eren. “You’ve been awake all night. Take a break.” Eren seemed grateful for the offer and sat down in the passenger seat bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his head on them. Jean took a moment to be jealous because while he was nearly six feet tall, Eren was a about as tall as his sister and could fit far more comfortably into this car. 

Eren sat the plastic bag on the dashboard as Jean started to drive away. He rummaged through until he found doughnuts and a pack of methanol cigarettes. “Here.”

“How’d you know what I smoke?” Jean asked impressed as he took the little box.

“We’ve been friends since you were thirteen, fuckwad. Of course I know what you smoke,” Eren said as he took a bite of his doughnut. 

Jean shrugged. “I don’t know if friends is a good word. Usually if you call someone your friend the relationship is beneficial for those involved.” That earned him a flick in the ear from the brunet.

“Dick. Plus that is so not true, have you taken a look at the people you hang around? Connie has gotten you arrested and put in holding six times for the same stupid shit.”

Jean gave a lopsided smile. “You’ve gotten me arrested too. I’m just the poor innocent victim that you people drag into all your shit. I mean look at me! I’m driving your rust bucket pickup in the middle of fucking nowhere at some ungodly hour of the morning.” He hesitated then, maybe that had come out too harshly, but when he looked at Eren he was smiling.

“Yes jackass, but I gave you the choice to stay home, and you came anyway,” Eren said. “Thank you.”

Jean flushed. He turned away from Eren. “A-anyway, thanks! Um, thanks for the cigarettes I mean...” He glanced at the pack in his hand and stammered out a quick, “Help me out?” He handed Eren back the pack and the brunet opened it and fished around Jean’s bag for his lighter. Jean took his cigarette into his mouth and Eren reached over and lit it before lighting his own. 

Now smoking in a car at four-something in the morning is bad in a health class kind of way, but to the two boys driving down the highway on this long night it was soothing, to say the least. Eren was about halfway done with his before he started to nod off, unsurprisingly. Eren settled his head onto his knees and closed his eyes, cigarette still in his mouth.

Jean glanced over and laughed quietly. He reached over and took the stick from Eren’s lips, which startled him awake slightly.

“You awake?” Jean asked jokingly. Eren nodded slowly. 

“It’s been a crazy two days,” Eren mumbled.

Jean put Eren’s cigarette between his lips with his own and took a deep breath. “Well then by all means sleep. Just wanna tell me where I’m driving to? Or we can just keep driving until the highway ends; that works too.”

Eren shrugged a little. “I mean if the end of the highway is the thing you wanna see…” Jean furrowed his brows and Eren continued. “Seems a little boring to me.”

Jean let his mouth hang open. “Eren.” The brunet showed his attention by giving Jean the most mock innocent face he could must up. “You’re telling me we are out here, just driving in a direction? No real destination?” Eren nodded. “Fuckin’ a.”

“I mean I have a place in mind, but where’s the fun in going straight there? What if I change my mind?” Eren elaborated. Jean blew out a breath and sunk back into the seat.

“I’m way too sober for this shit,” he said not bothering to hide his annoyance. 

Eren smiled sleepily at his counterpart. “I’ll buy you some pot then.” Jean just kind of half-scowled out the windshield. “For now though, you can pick any place in the country besides Trost.” Jean snorted in affirmation and decided to just drive until morning broke. 

He was going to say something else, but when he looked over, Eren was curled up against the door, sound asleep. His eyes trailed down Eren’s form in the dark car before he turned back to the road.

After a moment of silence Jean was struck with a mildly stupid idea. He stuck a cigarette up each nostril and inhaled. Bad plan. The smoke that invaded his nose sent him into a sneezing and coughing fit and he quickly pulled them out. His eyes began watering as he tried to keep quiet for his sleeping companion, yet over on the other side of the car Eren had awoken and was laughing quietly. Jean socked him in the shoulder.

“You’re such an idiot,” Eren said as he laughed behind his hand.

Jean threw the cigarettes out the window and took a long drink of his coffee. “Go the fuck back to sleep,” Jean griped, and Eren did.

About an hour and forty minutes later Jean found himself pulling into a gravel parking lot. He really had ended up going to the end of the highway; they were just a hell of a lot closer than he anticipated, so he exited and found himself on a windy road that went above a large forest. Jean watched over Eren’s head through the passenger side window at the expanse of trees that seemed to stretch on forever.

The sky was getting lighter and everything was washed out in the pale grey dawn. Jean pulled into a parking lot that branched off the road. It was a small lookout for the area, and Jean thought that maybe this was a national park or something. 

He turned off the car and closed his eyes; he was exhausted. If he felt shitty, Jeager was probably about as lively as roadkill. He reached over to Eren’s side and dug though the little bag of food. He pulled out a doughnut and a bag of beef jerky. “Heh, choice breakfast here Kirschtein.” He laughed to himself as he ate. 

Eren shifted against the door. He still looked like shit. Jean considered going through his phone while he was passed out; it might shed some light on the situation anyways. Jean shook his head. So much for not caring… He ended up not getting the chance to decide as the brunet stirred and mumbled a groggy, “Mornin’ Jean.”

“Hey asswipe,” Jean replied. Eren opened his eyes and tried to focus on Jean. 

“What time is it?” Eren asked while rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands.

Jean looked out the windshield at the sky, it was slowly growing pinker. “No clue. Phone’s in my bag.” Eren pulled out his own phone to look at the time. “Why does your truck not have a clock?”

“Cuz it’s old and shitty. It’s just past six by the way.” Eren leans back into the seat, obviously dazed from only sleeping about two hours.  
Jean sighed. “Not even three hours ago we were in our beds, me asleep, and you coming up with whatever shit you need to work through.” Eren remained silent. Jean started fiddling with the zipper on his jacket until Eren gave him a pissed look. 

Jean decided he was going to get nowhere complaining so he took a different approach. “You know…” Eren kept has gaze steady. “This is like uber cheesy and shit, and I don’t wanna pressure you to say anything you don’t want to, but, like, even though I don’t always want to admit it, we kinda are good friends. I mean I’ve stuck around for twelve years. And your friends who stick around like me and Armin do are always fuckin there for you to like help hide bodies and cover for you when your smoking weed in your parent’s house and go on pointless roadtrips in the middle of the night. You feel me?”

Eren’s green eyes were wide as saucers. That was the last thing he expected Jean-fucking-Kirschtein to say. “I-I suppose… I guess I don’t really see your point, but yeah, I know we’re friends.”

Jean went back to fiddling with his clothes. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, you can talk to me. You don’t have to work through whatever shit you got on your plate alone. You don’t have to leave behind your job, school, sister, and your boyfriend cuz of whatever’s going on.” Eren still looked a bit shocked. Jean wondered if it was possible to break Eren if he kept going like this. “I’m here for you, in this car, right now. And maybe you already know that cuz you picked me to come along, but since you haven’t given up anything, maybe you needed to be told.” Jean was staring in his lap. That was definitely one of the more embarrassing things he’s said in all his years. 

“Do you mean all that?” Eren asked quietly.

Jean didn’t look up at Eren but gave his equally quiet reply. “Yeah.” Jean nodded to confirm it to himself too.

The next series of events were about as surprising as Jean’s confession that, yes, he did in-fact care about Eren. Honestly though, Jean almost lost it when he realized Eren was doing the one thing he’d never seen from the brunet in all the years he’d known him. He’d seen Eren drunk to the point of puking, he’d seen Eren angry (like every day), he’d seen Eren study hard for school and work hard at his job, he’d seen Eren’s passion in the time he stood in a protest riot with an actual flaming torch in his hand, he’d seen Eren sulky when losing a video game, he’d seen Eren telling jokes at the lunch table with Connie in high school, he’d seen Eren give sweet smiles to the ones he loved, he’d seen Eren pinned below him on the pavement with a broken nose and black eye caused by Jean’s own hands, and there was even the time he’d walked in on Eren and Levi without them realizing and watched Eren cry out as he came.

Jean, especially after that last embarrassing sight, was sure he’d seen every side of Eren, but he found himself hopelessly unprepared when faced with the image of Eren crying. What does one do when faced with Eren Jeager as tears run down his cheeks? A million solutions flashed through Jean’s mind from hugging the bastard to getting angry and demanding to know what’s hurting him bad enough to make him cry.

Jean settled for acting the same as normal. “What’s wrong with you, you shit? You don’t cry! Like, for the love of god, is the world fucking ending? Cuz if it is then then let’s go to Vegas to gamble and get laid.” 

Eren glared at him with a tear stained face and punched him in the arm, hard. Jean winced and punched him back. “Jean, you are a fucking prick.” The brunet wiped at his eyes as anger replaced whatever he’d been feeling before. 

“I know.” Jean pulled his sleeve over his hand and reached over to the other side of the car. Eren flinched back at first but Jean caught the back of his head with his other hand and proceeded to wipe the remaining tears from Eren’s face. Eren returned to being dumbstruck by Jean’s kindness and his expression softened. He relaxed and Jean let him go. “I just don’t know how to deal with a crying Eren.” 

It was so ridiculous, but Eren couldn’t help feeling relieved at the answer. “Yeah, I definitely made the right choice picking you,” Eren said. Jean wanted to hit something. He didn’t learn anything, but he couldn’t really find it in himself to be angry. He found himself rather flattered at the comment. What was Eren doing to him?

Suddenly the pair became distracted as something bright flashed in the corner of their vision. The sun had risen just enough to peek over the treetops in the distance and the rays shone brightly enough to make them see spots. Eren, without a word, picked up his high school letter jacket from the back and got out of the car.

Eren stopped a few feet from the front of the car and started to tug the jacket on. Jean pulled his own letter jacket from the clothing in the back as it was the warmest thing Eren had packed for him. He then followed suit and got out of the car to take his place next to Eren. Among all the other odd things Jean had learned about Eren over the years, he’d learned that Eren was both rather sensitive to the cold and was a total sucker for beautiful things like sunrises. He grinned as Eren shivered and wrapped the jacket around himself tighter unwilling to watch something like this from behind a dirty windshield. 

The sky was painted pastel and the clouds and trees silhouetted were lined in gold. Eren was entranced. Jean was pretty sure Eren didn’t even realize he left the car. He startled when the brunet spoke.

He spoke because Jean had said all that and because he'd gotten so little sleep and he was just tired and still a little shaken about everything. “I picked you to come cuz I figured you didn’t care enough to ask. But that backfired since you’re obviously dying to know. I’m not ready to talk yet, so wait a little, but I think I still made the right choice bringing you cuz you didn’t let me cry.” He said it without looking away and it didn’t require any sort of response so Jean just let it lie. After that no words were necessary. Jean had gotten more than he anticipated this morning and Eren had given more than he necessarily wanted. They just watched the sun until it was far above the horizon.

As they were walking back to the car though, Jean stopped in his tracks. He stared at the white letters that were spelled across the back of the red letterman jacket. What should have read “Jeager” very clearly read “Kirschtein”, and Jean had to wonder when the jackets got switched. His mind wandered back to when he was fishing around in a pile of clothing rather than a bag for the jacket he was currently wearing and laughed. Eren gave him a look as if to say ‘What the hell are you laughing at’ and Jean just shook his head. He didn’t say a word about it and got into the car wearing Eren’s jacket.

As he drove away Jean pictured them from behind, standing side by side watching the sunrise, with their last names printed across each other’s backs.


	3. The time I realized this might become normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean realizes that this trip might be way longer than he originally anticipated, so they buy an electric stove. 
> 
> He also embarrasses himself in a grocery story and refuses to let Eren insult his iPod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this headcannon that Jean is into moderately decent indie music like the Strokes while Eren’s favorites are all really loud, and that is like the only requirement he has for “good music”, one of his favorite bands is Black Flag. Eren secretly loves classic rock.  
> By the way the 80’s is like the greatest time for music, like Sonic Youth and Green Day, Motley Crue, you just can’t hate shit from the 80’s.
> 
> Sorry that this chapter is so fucking weird by the way. They were going to be sleeping and driving a lot with not much going on really as that was sorta the point of point of the chapter, but I feel like it came out weird. Maybe I'm just crazy cuz I wrote most of it in the 1am to 4am range. I also cut away into Mikasa's POV for a moment so you know what Jean left her in that envelope. I felt it was important enough to have Mikasa show that she trusts Jean to a degree so I put that in. 
> 
> I'm also half done with the fourth chapter too so maybe when I get an hour or so I can finish it and post it by this weekend.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

At 8:23am Eren turned off his phone. He tossed it in the pile of clothing in the back and returned his gaze to the window. “Let’s find a motel.” Jean had never been so willing to listen to Eren.

At 9:35am Jean was handed a room key while the pair stood in a dingy lobby. When they reached their room the wallpaper was peeling off at the corners and the carpet was ugly, but the bed looked clean and there was a shower in the bathroom. The boys felt blessed. Jean opted for a shower before crashing, but found Eren sound asleep before he even started the water.

“I’ll be damned if he sleeps all day and has energy again at night,” Jean muttered to himself as he walked into the bathroom.

At 9:47am Mikasa padded downstairs and found the envelope Jean left resting innocently on their welcome mat. She retrieved it and tore it open. The note was short but made her smile.

Mikasa,  
Eren and I stole your car. Don’t know when we’ll be back. Use mine if you like.  
-Jean

Mikasa turned over the envelope and let Jean’s spare car key fall into her palm.

At 10:02am Jean’s phone buzzed on the bedside table. It was a single buzz signaling a text instead of a call, but Jean had already finished his shower and was passed out next to Eren, and this time, Jean was far too exhausted for it to wake him.

Jean’s phone continued to receive messages throughout the course of the hour and part of the next.

At 1:12pm Jean awoke to something warm at his side. He pulled back the sheets to find Eren, curled on his side with his back pressed to Jean’s shoulder. Jean shoved Eren away as the heat was stifling, but did so gently so as not to wake the brunet. Jean reached for his phone to check the time and found the text messages; three from Marco, two from Connie, five from Sasha, one from his boss, one from Armin, several from the group chat that he and everyone set up, and a few other randoms.

He checked the text from his boss first.

[11:20am] Asshat from Work: You’re fucking fired.

Classy.

The ones from Connie and Sasha were just them sending pictures into their smaller group chat and suggesting the usual shit to get high and go jack up the smoothie place by the mall.

Marco was the only one who was concerned about his absence.

[10:32am] Freckled Jesus: Hey, Mikasa came by sayin u were gone and drove off with ur car with like NO explanation.

[10:37am] Freckled Jesus: txt me back sometime today.

Jean scrolled through the rest of the texts and found one message he wasn’t quite expecting. It was a single, one line message from Mikasa. Jean opened it.

[10:02am] Mika: Just keep him safe.

Jean put his phone back onto the table without looking at the remaining messages. He turned toward Eren and watched his sleeping form with intrigue. “I’ll try my best, Mika.”

At 1:22pm Jean was sound asleep again.

At 1:55pm Eren woke to use the bathroom and opened the blinds on the way back to bed. Sunlight filled the room, but it wasn’t too bright; it did wake Jean though. He didn’t protest though. He laid there with a groggy expression and his hair all disheveled and sticky-up since he fell asleep with wet hair. Eren laid back down and pulled the covers up. 

“Your phone has messages on it.” Eren had noticed the notification for a new message when he walked by Jean’s side of the bed to let the sun in. The brunet was rather apprehensive about having contact with home, but knew that he couldn’t keep Jean from having his phone if he wanted it. 

Jean just shrugged. “Yeah. Just people wondering where we are. I also got fired today.”

Eren brought a hand to his face in embarrassment. “Jeez. Sorry, man.”

Jean pulled Eren’s hand down. “It’s fine. I’m actually kinda glad.” Eren shot him a very skeptical look. “No I’m serious. I hate my job I’ve been looking for a reason to quit for a month.”

Eren laughed. “You could have just stopped showing up or put in your two weeks.” 

“Yeah but it seemed dumb to give up having an income because I simply didn’t want a job,” Jean explained.

“You could have just quit cuz it’s almost summer. Honestly, since when am I more rational than you?” Eren said with a yawn. He was still so tired.

“Don’t act all proud for yourself, asshole. We’re just a pair of idiots,” Jean said, very truthfully.

Eren nodded. “I guess we are.” He considered going back to sleep. “Can we stay the night here?” 

Jean threw his hands up. “YES. Thank god! I figured you were gonna have us leave and make me drive all night.” Eren rolled his eyes at Jean’s reaction. “We can leave in the morning. But, let’s go somewhere for dinner tonight, I don’t wanna make all our meals from random gas station food.”

“Yeah. Let’s sleep more though.” Jean nodded and soon after Eren was dozing. Jean looked out the window. The sky was clearly visible from this angle and he eventually fell back asleep finding shapes in the clouds.

At 10:20am the next day Eren and Jean checked out of the motel and got in the car, both felt more rested than they had in months since school/friends/work always kept them so busy. 

As they were leaving Jean remembered that Eren packed his iPod. He dug through his bag, found the device, and showed it to Eren. “Any chance this will hook up to your car?” 

Eren pointed to the space in front of Jean. “Yeah. In the glove box there’s one of those cassette adapter things.” Jean found it quickly and soon the sounds of Thomas Mars singing filled the car.

“Phoenix? I mean they’re okay, but—” Eren was cut off by a swift smack to the forehead with Jean’s sunglasses. “Ow!”

Jean’s lips were twisted into a devilish grin. “Finish that sentence, I dare you.” Jean took music very seriously and was one of the people who tried to start a band with Eren once upon a time in his dad’s garage. 

Eren backtracked. “Uh, Phoenix is great!” Then he continued. “But Led Zep is better.”

Jean gave Eren a look like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It kinda was. “Of course Led Zep is better! He’s a god.” He then made an irritated noise that Eren might expect Levi to make. “Jeez. I bet you'll want to insult every song in my playlist..." Jean held out his iPod to Eren. "Okay asshat, I’ll let you have Carte Blanche over the music as long as it’s my iPod.” Eren began scrolling through the long list of songs, glancing up at the road every few seconds as he continued to drive.

Jean smiled when Green Day began playing. Holiday, how appropriate. 

“This isn’t your usual music,” Eren observed. 

“You can’t hate fucking Green Day. It’s like being mean to Krista or telling people you have a bomb in an airport. You just don’t,” Jean retorted. Eren laughed.

At 11:50am Eren pulled into a grocery store parking lot in the town they were passing through.

“What are you doing?” Jean asked.

“Buying food. I don’t wanna have to stop somewhere every time I need to eat,” Eren explained.

They bought a red cooler. Then after attacking the snack food isle and stocking up with instant ramen and chips, Jean dragged Eren to find something a little healthier. In the produce section, Eren made a comment about how they were arguing over food like a married couple. Jean blushed and whacked him on the head. Eren finished by telling Jean that he’d be the wife, earning another smack. 

As they passed over into a different part of the store, Jean noticed a single burner electric stove on the shelf. Neither boy knew how permanent this trip was gonna be, so they grabbed it along with shower supplies and a pot to go with their little stove.

It occurred to Jean how odd it was shopping with Eren, how mundane this was for the circumstance, and for the first time since they left he felt this might end up seeming normal. How long were they gonna fuck around out here? Until they reached Eren’s mystery location? Until they ran out of money? Would it eventually fall into some fucked up rhythm and seem as ordinary as living with your friends in college or going to school every day?

How could it not be awkward at all after yesterday morning? Were they really just that comfortable with each other? Jean continued to think too hard about the situation until he walked straight into the doorframe when they were leaving. Eren actually dropped to the floor from laughing at him.

They crammed the cooler packed with ice and all the things they wanted cool behind the seats with the rest of the food in bags on top and moved their clothing to one side of the car. It was getting a bit cramped and Jean momentarily wish they’d taken his car since they’d at least have a full back seat and a trunk.

At 4:46pm Eren pulled over, and they ate mac and cheese on the roof of the car. 

At 7:28pm Jean texted Marco back and they switched to Eren’s iPod.

At 12:00am they were asleep. Eren was sprawled across both seats and leaning against Jean who was jammed into the door by Eren’s weight.

At 9:45am they were stopped at a gas station getting gas and coffee. 

At 10:00am they were fighting over music again. 

Jean had to laugh. Yes, this was definitely becoming normal.


	4. The moment I realized this might not be so bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Jean are children.  
> 24 and 25 year old children.  
> They laugh a lot. As children should.
> 
> I wonder who the mystery barista is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot the disclaimer in the last chapter. It exists in this one too. I don’t own shit. Not the two babes I writing about (They belong to Hajime Isayama), not the town with the dam (that’s totally a real place where I live), not this sandwich that I am currently eating (I stole it from my dear friend who puts up with me).
> 
> I also am about to fix the tags and everything cuz they became incorrect. I swear this story is writing itself, the characters just act on their own and say the shit they want!
> 
> Hehe i am BARELY fulfilling my promise of updating this weekend. I'm not gonna make any promises about the next chapter being on time.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! ( ●´v｀● )

Almost a week had passed since they left home, but Eren, true to his promise from the night they left, was able to purchase a few grams of weed for them to share. They pulled into a parking lot and broke into the bag only a couple minutes after they got it. Jean was pleasantly stoned after a single joint.

“Man, this shit really gets you floating.” His voice was scratchy from the late nights and excess smoking. Eren nodded stupidly and leaned against Jean’s shoulder. It was warm enough where they could sit with just light jackets and not be too cold. The pair sat atop a brick wall that overlooked a dam. The small town they parked in was pleasant and simple with the dammed river being the only noticeable thing in the whole business district. They had been there for all of ten minutes and already knew living here would get old fast.

Eren pointed out past a shop selling blown glass and a small garden to a playground about a block over. It was deserted as all the kids in this town were probably still in school for the spring. “Wanna go play on the swings?”

Jean laughed a little. “I didn’t know I was traveling and getting stoned with a four year old.” Eren shoved at Jean’s shoulder and almost knocked him off the wall. Jean then stood and let Eren fall onto his side. They both started giggling hysterically. “Come on asshat, I’ll race you.” 

Eren immediately sat up and jumped down from the wall getting a decent head start. Jean swore and ran after him. They cut off a car when crossing the street and the driver honked angrily; the boys just laughed as they continued running. Eren won due to his starting first, but Jean would later swear that he won this round. Eren turned around and basked in his victory only for Jean to catch his foot on the bricks that lined the nearby garden and plow right into him. They fell hard into the woodchips. Eren laid stunned for a moment before bursting into laughter. Jean joined in, Eren’s laughter proving to be too contagious.

They were so stoned, but they knew it wasn’t the only reason they felt so good. Neither cared that they were in their mid-twenties and had just raced to a playground. Neither felt the need to shove the other away as they laid there, Jean’s head against Eren’s chest where he faceplanted. Both might be loath to admit it, but both realized they actually enjoyed the other’s company. They just continued to giggle as the realization set on to them.

They goofed around on the playground after that. Eren fell off the monkey bars once and had a bloody knee to show for it, but they stuck around. They found themselves standing on the swings and swaying in opposite, talking about nothing important and watching a large group of kids play around them. The sun was falling low in the sky and the world was golden. 

The next day was a little less fantastic as they approached Stohess, or rather it was a living hell because they were stuck in awful highway traffic from a nice little construction and rush hour combo. In short, they’d been on the same mile of road for the past hour and a half with only dumb games to keep them entertained. At least it was warm enough to have the windows down…

“Okay, would you rather get killed by a shark or a dog?”

Jean made a face as he continued to stare at the taillights that belonged to the car in front of him. “What kind of shit ‘would you rather’ question is that?”

“A legit one. Now answer the question,” Eren commanded.

“Fuck! This traffic can eat my ass!” Jean sighed as a man in a blue car honked at him. “Okay fine…I don’t know, the shark probably? I feel like it would involve less humiliation having a giant shark rip you apart than having some yappy little mutt gnawing on you until you bled out.”

“Acceptable logic,” the brunet commented. “You’re turn.”

Jean thought about it for a minute. “Would you rather switch the game to Truth or Dare or switch driving with me and let me fall asleep, cuz this is getting boring.” 

“Truth or Dare cuz sleep is for losers,” Eren said with conviction.

“You sleep almost more than I do, fuckwit!” Eren just ignored Jean’s comment and told him to start the game. “Alright, truth or—”

“DARE!” Eren cut him off with a shout. 

Jean didn’t take long to think of something. “I dare you to prank call someone.”

Eren grinned and Jean handed over his phone. “May I pick the scenario?”

“Yeah. But it’s gotta be awkward,” Jean added as an afterthought. 

“Sweet.” Eren typed in a number and a blocking code and held the phone up to his ear. Jean raised an eyebrow in question and Eren mouthed ‘it’s your parents’. 

“You called my parents?” Jean whispered. Eren nodded. Jean was about to say something when they both heard the phone pick up. Jean could hear his father on the other end of the line say a quick greeting.

Eren was already kind of laughing, but was able to keep his voice steady when he spoke. Though the pitch at which he spoke was not something Jean was expecting and he almost burst into a fit of giggling when Eren’s voice raised an octave in the best feminine sounding voice he could muster. He also had to admit that it was pretty convincing.

“Hello sir!” Eren chirped in his girl voice. “This is Ellen from Sina Sporting Goods and I would like to inform you that your special-order jockstrap and cup have arrived and are ready for pickup.” He had said it so cheerfully and seriously that Jean almost lost it right then. 

They fell silent as possible to hear his reply. “I’m sorry? I don’t believe I ordered any, um, jockstraps or cups recently…”

Eren spoke again. “Oh no sir, I have your order right here on our list. An extra, extra small jockstrap and cup ordered in store by a Mr. August Kirschtein.” Eren had to turn away from the phone and laugh into his hand after that sentence.

“It is mistaken then, miss Ellen. I have not ordered something like that. Now I must return to work,” Jean’s father grated out over the speaker. Eren made a face and mouthed the word ‘harsh’ while holding his hand over his chest dramatically.

Jean laughed at Eren’s reaction. The brunet continued. “Oh! Wait sir! This is a nonrefundable item and—”

Eren got cut off by Mr. Kirschtein’s voice. “Nonrefundable? Are you saying there is a charge on my account for this? Because I assure you I was NOT the one to order that!”

“Yes sir. It was also quite a large sum of money. The company we order from has never had to make a cup this small for an adult before and you agreed to the bill when we showed you the cost of this order,” Eren said, convincingly distressed sounding over the fake situation and adding a little extra emphasis on the word ‘small’. Jean was laughing so hard he was doubled over into the steering wheel and had to keep a hand over his mouth.

Jean’s dad was getting angry but Eren only met his complaints with snide comments in the guise of concern with that high pitched voice. He yanked the phone away from his ear when the yelling began, but when Jean glanced over the brunet wore one of the biggest shit-eating grins he’d ever seen.

Eren accidentally blew their cover with the next line though and snorted letting out a string of very boyish laughter partway through his sentence. Mr. Kirschtein paused mid-rant. “Hold on. Is this a prank call?” That man caught on fast.

Eren rattled off a quick, “You got your ass handed to you, Kirschtien!” then hung up. Eren and Jean glanced sideways at each other before bursting out into laughter. Eren clutched at his stomach in quite obvious pain from holding in the giggling for so long and Jean was already out of breath. 

Jean was the first to calm down. “Oh man! You could’ve earned an Oscar for that performance!” The pair high-fived. 

“Okay okay, truth or dare?” Eren asked.

“I’m a little concerned for my safety, but I’m gonna go with dare,” Jean said and Eren’s face made him wary of his decision.

“I dare you to let me take the wheel while you go up onto the roof of the car and entertain the masses with an air guitar concert to any song of my choosing. And you have to sing too.” Eren was always notorious for having great dares, but this one could be both fun to do and quite possibly humiliating.

Jean hesitated only a moment before he pulled out his aviator sunglasses and put them on, giving Eren a serious expression. “Let’s do this!” Jean opened the door and got out onto the road while Eren slid over into the driver seat and hooked up his iPod. Jean used the window to get a foothold and hefted himself onto the roof of the pickup’s cab. He put his fingers in his mouth and whistled, loud, effectively gaining the attention and few angry glares from the surrounding traffic victims. “HELLO PEOPLES OF THE TRAFFIC JAM! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!”

Eren started up the song and turned the volume up as loud as his old scratchy speakers would allow. The drums and bass made the car vibrate as Lost in the Stereo by All Time Low poured out of the windows. Jean remembered this song being one of Eren’s favorites for a while after it came out and quickly let his voice ring loose, his body dancing as if he were holding and strumming a guitar.

Eren had to admit, for someone who didn’t often sing, Jean had a voice worth listening to. He tapped on the steering wheel in time to the drums as the music beat in his ears. 

“She's dancing alone, I'm ready to go but she's so lost in stereo, lost in stereo!  
She's out of control, so beautiful! Lost in stereo, lost in stereo!  
And I've been waiting for so long but she'll never know!  
I'm losing hope 'cause she's so lost in stereo, lost in stereo!”

When he heard Jean jump and touch back down on the roof with a loud thump, Eren decided the car wasn’t going to be moving anywhere. He parked it and climbed up through the window joining Jean. When Eren started jumping around on the roof the song reached its final chorus and they sang in unison. They actually got some applause for that little stunt and fit in another song, this time by Social Distortion, before they had to go back down and move the car forward.

Eren was the one driving this time, but he barely noticed the traffic. Jean eventually got sick of playing Truth or Truth since dares they could actually do in the car while one was driving were limited. He had plugged a pair of purple earbuds to his iPod and just let himself zone out quietly, eventually closing his eyes and falling asleep. Eren took the opportunity to keep giving the taller male side glances that turned into a slightly more obvious stare. Eren remembered dancing next to Jean and he’d be totally lying to himself if he didn’t think that up on the roof Jean was really, really attract— GOOD AT SINGING. Not attractive in any way. Nope. 

Eren cut his dangerous train of thought and was relieved when he saw the traffic starting to clear up.

That night Jean fell asleep early watching a shitty movie on the old TV they had in their motel room. Eren wondered if Jean had been getting too little sleep lately since he slept so much today... After part of the movie Eren began to feel stir crazy from the traffic earlier and opted for a walk. It was dark when he left, but the light pollution made it so he couldn’t see any stars. Fuck cities. 

He walked along the major roads so as not to get lost. He could hear the highway from there and the sound could almost be mistaken for a beach. Eren pretended they were in a coastal town, that he wasn’t running from anything back home, that Jean was happy being here with him.

Wait, the latter was a true thing, right? Jean had chosen to come. 

Yet, he probably felt obligated to make sure Eren wasn’t doing anything dangerous, and so far they hadn’t done anything the Jean probably liked. He looked like he had fun singing in traffic and on the playground though. Before those, Jean had just looked worried a lot, but both were also Eren’s ideas. 

Eren sighed. It didn’t turn into a very happy walk. He continued into the small outskirts of Stohess, on the very north edge of the city. On that street there was a bar or two, a few shops and restaurants, a movie theater, nothing too out of the ordinary; nothing that he could afford either. The brunet stopped when he passed in front of a café. The windows were clear enough on the warm night for Eren to see inside.

He pushed open the door and a pleasant little jingle sounded from the bells above his head. The barista called a pleasant hello and went back to cleaning mugs. Eren let the door shut and took in the cozy atmosphere. Little booths lined the walls and small tables were scattered around with mismatched décor that made the little café seem more vintage than cheap. There was only one other person in the shop. Eren approached the stools in front of the counter and asked for a decaf; he didn’t want to spend another night awake on a caffeine buzz. Eren sat at the counter and rested his head on his hands.

A penny from the cash register was flicked at him and landed with a little metallic clink on the counter. “A penny for your thoughts? And a medium decaf coffee,” the barista said as he handed Eren a green mug. Eren glanced at the barista. He was quite a bit taller than Eren with warm brown eyes and golden hair tied back in a loop with a few shorter pieces falling over his forehead.

“I’ve just got a lot to be concerned about right now. I fucked up big time back home and instead of fixing anything, I dragged my friend, and I use that term loosely, on a road trip across the country." Eren confessed.

The barista thought about it. “Well that seems pretty damn cowardly.” Eren sighed and took a sip from his drink. “But, I take a look at you and don’t see a coward at all.” Eren almost spit into his cup. 

“What the hell makes you say that?” Eren asked.

“Intuition,” the barista said simply. 

Eren made a face. “The way you say that reminds me of someone.” His mind wandered back to Levi and how he said exactly that whenever Eren was surprised he knew something. 

The barista laughed. “Maybe this person and I once knew each other. Stranger things have happened.” The man paused the conversation to help a customer that came in. When he finished he pulled a stool and sat opposite Eren. “So does this friend of yours know what’s happened?” Eren shook his head. “Don’t you think you should tell them?”

Eren watched the dark liquid in his cup, not really wanting to look this man he was telling this much to in the eye. “Yes. I can’t think of why I’m so scared to. I usually don’t care what other people think. I didn’t come out here because I was scared of anyone’s reactions, after all. I just felt like I didn’t have anything left back home, which is ridiculous since I still have all my friends and my sister.” Eren had to admit that it was quite easy to talk to this person.

The barista nodded his head though Eren was unable to see. “Yes, you are fortunate to have those who care for you, but if you felt it was time to move on then it doesn’t mean you were wrong to.” Eren glanced up at this. 

“I guess not,” Eren said.

“Trust me. I’ve been through this before. A lot of people do when going to college and they must pick between following their beloved or their friends or searching for their own path. I left behind the four closest friends I ever had to go to college. But, I guess I did later drop out to marry the girl I love, so it depends on how much you feel it matters to stay with them. If they are more important to you than anything, I would say to follow them to the ends of the earth.”

“I also think you have no reason to fear telling your friend anything. They did come all this way with you after all.” Then the barista’s smile faltered. “Unless you actually physically dragged them partway cross country.”

Eren had to laugh at that. “No. He came along after I asked. I just wonder, like, maybe he felt obligated.”

“I wouldn’t worry. Tell him when you feel ready,” the blond reassured. 

Eren nodded. “I want to show him that I appreciate him being out here. I want him to have fun since he went with, but I can’t think of anything…” 

“Does he like music?” The barista inquired. He smiled when Eren nodded. “Then I may have just the thing…” 

Eren stayed until the café closed. After saying goodbye to the nice barista he walked back to the motel and collapsed on the bed, landing horizontally across Jean who made a snoring noise and woke up.

Jean gave a big yawn. “What’ve you been doing? I woke up a while ago and you were gone.”

“Stuff,” Eren said simply. Jean snorted. “Oh I also got you a thing,” Eren added.

“Wow. Stuff and things. Your night sounds absolutely riveting.” Eren punched Jean in the shoulder the best he could without having to move from his current position. Jean felt Eren start to dig though his pocket and a moment later a colorful piece of paper was thrust into his face.

Jean freed his arms from under Eren and held the paper back from his face, but he couldn’t make it out without his glasses. “Shit, this whole bad eyesight thing is a real pain in the ass. Will you get my glasses from my bag?” Eren rolled to the edge of the bed and draped an arm over to search though Jean’s untidy duffle bag. He found Jean’s glasses and handed them over. “God I look like a total dork in these,” Jean complained. 

Eren was still hanging over the edge of the bed partially and he rolled back over and took his place on top of Jean once more. “You don’t look THAT bad. They kinda make you look like one of those wannabe hipsters. Except you really are a hipster and that means you can wear hipster glasses and not look like a tool.” 

“You’re logic is flawed, but thanks I guess.” Jean glanced down at the paper. It was a flyer for a band, one he’d never heard of. “Who is this band?”

“They started locally in Karanese and are having a free concert in about a week. The guy who gave me the flyer said they’re really good. It’s got a bar and I thought…you might like to go?” Eren couldn’t fathom why he blushed when he asked.

“Is this your shitty way of showing that you’re grateful for me being here?” Jean quipped.

“Yeah.” Eren buried his face in the sheets. He felt Jean wiggle free and thought he left but the taller male’s presence returned a moment later when he fell on Eren similar to how the brunet did to him a minute ago. Jean fell in the same direction Eren was laying though, Jean’s nose almost colliding with the back of Eren’s head.

Jean hugged around Eren’s shoulders from behind. “Thanks. I’m actually glad I came with, so don’t worry.” Eren froze when he realized Jean had seen through everything. He grinned stupidly, his face still hidden. The combined warmth was too comfortable for either of them to move after their little exchange and they ended up falling asleep in that position, feet dangling over the edge of the bed.


	5. The night you confused the hell out of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Eren have some fun at the music festival and both fight with some inner conflicts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own shit! There are some lines of dialogue from The Perks of Being a Wallflower which is by Stephen Chbosky and is an amazing book. The movie also is different enough from the book that it has its own charm. I very much recommend them! 
> 
> Thank you for leaving comments and kudos on this it makes me so happy that people like what I’m writing!  
> I got into writing the final chapters out and finally have a solid plan for this story (thank god). I can’t believe the chapters are all barely written out and the document is already 47 pages long in Word. It must be the nice weather. Guess what! There may still be snow on ground in the second week of April, but it was 50 degrees today! YAY!
> 
> So the stuff Eren says about lighting cigarettes is something I kinda (totally) took from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, but I feel like that’s exactly the kind of wisdom Mike would try to instil in a young, impressionable college freshman, which is when I pictured Eren meeting Levi and the rest of those old people. They are of course older than little baby college freshmen in this story, but a little unwritten backstory never hurt anyone. 
> 
> I listened to John Gorka and wore a flower crown while writing this. 
> 
> Anyway,  
> Hope you enjoy! (❁´▽`❁)

The next few days passed by in a whirlwind. Eren only found himself wishing he brought a girl along instead of an undeniably sexy boy. Eren couldn’t quite figure when it began, or when his random crush got so severe, maybe he was just crazy, but he found himself staring at Jean all the time. Wishing Jean wasn’t straight… wanting to kiss Jean… ravish his body with burning lips and tingling fingertips… 

Eren smacked himself earning a confused look from Jean. He shook his head hoping Jean thought it was unimportant. Thankfully Jean went back to eating. 

They were sitting on the hood of the car in a small field surrounded by tall thin trees and dirt roads. It would be no exaggeration to say they were about a fifty miles from anything in any direction, and it was fucking beautiful. Fortunate to have good weather again they opted for a picnic.

Actually the weather was an anomaly for the cold springtime they’d had so far and Jean and Eren took full advantage of the heat by dressing in short sleeves and bare feet and keeping the windows down as random songs from the radio played quietly. Jean dug through his bag and found the pack of cigarettes. 

“Hey you got a lighter? I can’t find mine,” Jean asked slightly confused. When had he even lost it?

“Nope, but I’ve got matches,” Eren responded and went to find them in the glovebox.

Jean made an amused noise. “I’ve got a match.” Eren groaned. “My butt and your face!” Eren facepalmed as he finished his joke.

“God! That is so old and cheesy!” Eren complained, though he was laughing; stupidly blushing too, but Jean didn’t need to know that.

Jean laughed. “So is using matches.” Eren chucked his beanie at Jean. He returned with the matches and took a cigarette from Jean. He lit one and held it to his cigarette before holding it to Jean’s. 

Jean cocked an eyebrow noticing something. “Why’d you light yours first this time? Up til now you’ve always lit mine first.” 

“When you're smoking a cigarette with someone, and you have a lighter, you should light their cigarette first. But if you have matches, you should light your cigarette first, so you breathe in the 'harmful sulfur' instead of them,” Eren explained. “It’s just common courtesy. Mike taught me.”

Jean made a mock surprised face. “Holy shit. He made you consider other people’s feelings?!” Eren shook his head. Jean conceded. “I guess those people aren’t so bad.”

“They’re nice people, fuckface! I don’t know why none of you trust them,” Eren said a bit exasperated. 

“Maybe cuz it’s always been just the group. You, me, Mikasa, Armin, Sash, Con, Marco, Ymir, Kris, Annie, Bertl, and Reiner. All these new people? I think we just worry about keeping you around,” Jean said.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Eren said. 

Jean would never admit how reassuring that was, so he covered it up with a snotty comment. “Oh please, you are basically engaged to Levi. You guys are gonna run away together and spend your days smoking and having angry, gay sex!” He made kissy faces at his friend.

“I am NOT!” Eren said blushing. He shoved Jean off the hood and the taller went down cackling.

Jean hefted himself back up on the car, still laughing slightly. He took note of Eren’s flustered look. “Don’t make that face.” Eren stuck his tongue out. “Mature. So, what else did Mike teach you?”

Eren seemed to brighten at that. “Aside from that stuff earlier, he also says it's bad luck to have ‘three on a match.’ He heard that from his uncle who fought in Vietnam. Something about how three cigarettes was enough time for the enemy to know where you are.” Jean raised an eyebrow. He was actually finding this interesting. “And Nanaba says that when you're alone, and you light a cigarette, and the cigarette is only halfway lit that means someone is thinking about you.”

Jean leaned back on his hands. “Huh, that’s cool stuff.” They were silent then. A summer breeze wafted through the area and felt warm on their bare arms and faces. 

Eren closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. “It’s nice here, almost as nice as the beach.”

Jean laughed at that. “You and your fucking beach. I get the feeling that that’s our final destination?”

“That’s a secret,” Eren said and he brought a finger to his lips. Jean rolled his eyes.

“Aghh. Well, what do you think? Should we get going? The concert is the day after tomorrow,” Jean pointed out.

“Yes.”

The pair packed up quickly and got in the car. Jean drove using a small map that Eren drew up on a napkin at the café. They arrived in Karanese the following evening. They were tired from driving for so long, though going to a hotel when the whole town was in the midst of a giant party seemed a bit silly. It was too early for a summer festival, but there was celebration all the same.

They parked by the edge of the shopping district and walked into the colorful stall lined streets. Eren’s mouth began to water when he smelled someone grilling. The lights were strung across the streets and buildings and reflected against the river’s surface. There were people in boats parked in the wide river and lazing on the wooden docks and in the riverside park a stage lit with twinkle lights and paper lanterns was set up with open mic.

Everyone was kind, even if they were strangers from out of town, they were greeted by friendly people and they immediately felt as part of the celebration. Everything was free too. The town had apparently set aside a budget for the festival every year and as such everyone would be included. As they approached the town’s main street two girls with baskets of beaded necklaces ran up. They offered Jean a necklace with red clay beads and Eren got one made of woven twine with a single blue-green glass bead. 

Jean got them both a beer and a plate of food from that stalls, but before he could find Eren again the brunet appeared behind him and placed a flower crown on his head.

“Jeager!” Jean grinned and yelled after Eren as he quickly disappeared into the crowd, his own head adorned with pink and white pastel flowers. Jean rolled his eyes and searched for a place to eat. He found a spot in the park and set their food on the wooden picnic table. Eren appeared again to take a sip of his beer and flick Jean in the nose.

Jean chased after him this time, a group of girls giggling when he stumbled on the curb. One of them kneeled down and offered him his flower crown as he was getting up. He accepted it with a blush dusting his cheeks and gave a quick wave as he ran after Eren. Eren darted through the crowds, but Jean eventually caught up to Eren being the faster runner. He was laughing by the time he caught Eren around the waist. Eren was laughing too but cried out when he was lifted from the ground and thrown over Jean’s shoulder.

“Oh my god, you dick! Put me down!” Eren let his fist connect playfully with Jean’s back. He was still laughing, taking any hint of seriousness from his voice.

“You started it.”

Eren struggled a little more for good measure, but eventually propped his head in his hands and took the time to admire Jean’s butt. “Did you like my present?” he asked conversationally.

Jean snorted. “Sure, it’s fucking gorgeous.”

They ended up passing the girls who picked up Jean’s crown, and the pair waved as they passed by. Eren couldn’t stop his grin from falling when he saw one in a pretty yellow dress blush when she looked at Jean. He frowned at the pavement. Jean noted his look when he dumped Eren onto the grass next to their table.

“Where’s the kicked puppy?” Jean asked.

Eren sighed. “Um nowhere.” He stood and forced a smirk on his face. “Those girls were totally into you. I saw you trip the first time you passed them.” Jean blushed then and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Uh, yeah I guess,” he said with a shrug. He acted like he didn’t care, but Eren could see the stupid grin in his face and the way he was kind of looking to the left where they had met the group. It made his heart clench, though he wasn’t jealous. Nope. Not at all. 

Eren got this knowing look on his face and elbowed Jean in the ribs. “Go ask that one in the yellow dress out. She was eye fucking you hardcore.”

Jean shoved Eren lightly. “She was not! Stop making shit up!” Eren had to laugh despite himself. Jean rolled his eyes at the brunet again. “I’m not gonna make a move on her. I’m out here with you.”

Eren’s face lit up red. “W-wh-what are you saying!?” 

Jean laughed. “It wouldn’t be fair if I ditched you to go hook up.”

“Uh right,” Eren said. He couldn’t tell if he was relieved that Jean was staying or disappointed that he didn’t mean something else. Maybe both.

“Good. Now stop being such a spaz and eat.” Jean waved a plastic fork in Eren’s direction and the brunet took his place at the table. Despite his jealously—no, extreme dislike of Jean blushing because of other attractive people—Eren found himself smiling again as he ate. The food was good and the weather was pleasant and warm even though the sun was starting to disappear. A young woman with a bass guitar ascended the stage and plucked at the strings without an amp creating a strange yet pleasing backdrop to her singing. She had a bit of an accent that Eren figured was Icelandic.

Eren and Jean lazed on the grass and drank slowly letting the world move around them. It was nice just to lay like that. They eventually started walking again, playing games and tasting the wide multitude of food presented. At one point Jean misplaced Eren again, but found him in a circle of kids playing ninja.

Ninja was a game that required quick reflexes and a lot of silly poses when one tried to dodge another’s hands. Eren had to lean back into a one-handed bridge pose when he narrowly avoided one kid’s swing at him and almost fell on his ass. Jean laughed from the sidelines. Jean joined the next game and ended in the final two with a fifteen year old whom he could swear did this for a living. He lost, but he did win his next one on one.

The night was just a pleasant experience all around, and Eren and Jean found themselves on the docks listening to more music long after the sun had set. The festival was still going strong, though now that most of the kids had gone home, the overall cheery vibe had been replaced with something slower and mellower. Jean swayed to the music while his bare feet hung off the dock into the water and Eren sat cross-legged leaning his back against Jean’s right side. It was comfortable as they slipped into a lull, sleepy and slightly drunk.

Eren tipped his head back to rest against Jean’s shoulder. “This place is amazing. Let’s just live here forever, use the rest of our money to get a guitar and a monkey. We’ll street perform and live out of the car until we can afford an apartment.”

Jean whistled. “Big dreams there Jeager.”

“Shut up, you ass. What if that’s really want to do with my life?” Eren asked.

“Come on, I know you’re more ambitious than that,” Jean prodded. Eren had been joking when he said that, but Jean’s response made him actually think.

“I thought I was too. Guess I changed a little.” Eren finally said.

Jean snorted, though it wasn’t mean. “You’re lying. You’re the guy who said he wanted to start a rock band, become the real life Tony Stark, and die by ‘getting eaten by a flaming bionic shark with a rocket launcher full of lava and fireworks’. Eren Jeager doesn’t just settle down.” Then he paused. “Unless Levi turned you into a big softy, but I somehow doubt that.”

“I guess I don’t really know what I want anymore, guess that changes when you devote yourself to someone like I did,” Eren said thoughtfully.

“At least you knew at one point…” Jean was suddenly just as serious as Eren.

“You don’t have dreams?” Eren asked.

Jean shrugged. “Not really. Guess I always pictured myself gettin a job I hate and a wife I love. Have a kid to please the parents. This college shit and all the fun I have with you guys is just a distraction.”

Eren turned his head to look at Jean. “That’s actually kinda sad. It doesn’t sound like you want a single part of that. Even if my future turns out lame, at least I chose it.”

Jean chuckled, though there was nothing humorous in what Eren said. “Growing up I always kinda just tried to please other people. Parents, kids at school, random girls on the street. I always had to be the cool guy without a fear in the world or the well behaved son who deserves his parent’s inheritance. Though I kinda threw a wrench in both of those after I left home.” The last part was added as an afterthought. 

Eren let out a breath. “I thought you were such a tool before we left home. No, you were like the whole tool shed. Grade-A douchebag. You tried waaaay too hard.” Eren smiled then. “Now I don’t think so.”

“Are you saying you like me?” Jean said teasingly

Eren shrugged. “Yeah.”

That wasn’t the answer he expected. Jean had expected a jab like Eren usually gave. Not an honest answer. Jean then thought of something. “Do you mean as friends?”

“I dunno…” Eren murmured. Jean found himself confused. What did Eren mean by that? Did he think of Jean as more than a friend? Or less? Something else besides a friend?

Jean looked down at Eren as the brunet rested against him, those green eyes gazing up at him kindly. Jean suddenly was taken aback at how entrancing Eren looked. The dim lighting was enough to bring out his warm colors and the pale flowers atop his head contrasted beautifully with his dark hair and skin. Coupled with his slightly small stature and those eyes that Jean always admired, Eren was completely and utterly gorgeous.

Jean sucked in a breath when he realized how close they were. Why didn’t he pull away? Jean’s mind raced as Eren began to lean closer. Eren pushed himself to eye level with Jean and paused. He seemed to be asking silent permission to continue and in any other circumstance Jean would have pushed Eren away, so why wasn’t he now? Instead Jean began to close the distance. They shut their eyes and their breath mingled; Jean’s mind sort of shut down then.

A loud clatter broke their moment, and Jean accidentally headbutted Eren when he startled. They pulled back abruptly, groaning and rubbing at their foreheads.

“Shit.” Jean heard Eren mutter something along the same lines. Eren glared over his shoulder in the direction of the noise. One of the members of the band on stage had accidentally hit the drum kit while setting up. Eren had literally never hated music so much in his life.

When they turned back to each other the moment from before was quickly replaced with something awkward and confusing. Eren blushed a deep red and excused himself to get another drink. Jean watched the water as Eren left.

When Eren was around the corner and Jean was out of sight his blush disappeared and something like guilt burned in his chest. He didn’t go to the drink stand and just leaned against the building. Jean probably was disgusted and confused. He was supposed to be with Levi too. What would Jean think of him? The taller male looked like he was going for it when Eren leaned to kiss him, but maybe he just got caught up in the moment… Eren buried his face in his arms and slid down the wall.


	6. The night we met some strange and wonderful people (Jean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of a two part chapter. 
> 
> Eren disappears. Jean meets an old friend of Hanji's and they talk about the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own shit!
> 
> SO I am updating this chapter from work (omg im so focused on my job)
> 
> You get this part of the chapter early since I was inspired and finished it and since the last chapter ended a little sadly. I will put part two up when I get the chance to finish it, but since I started my final project in game design class, I'm not sure when that will be.
> 
> Anyways,  
> Hope you enjoy! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Jean’s mind raced a million miles a minute. Eren almost kissed him. Eren almost kissed him.

And he almost kissed back!

Jean stirred the water with his toes. What was he doing? He didn’t like guys…right? He liked those girls earlier… and Mikasa… and he dated Sasha (though it wasn’t very serious)… He’d had a million girlfriends!

But, he also wanted to spend time with Eren. This time out here with Eren made him happy, like uncharacteristically so. They touched and laughed and did shitty things and ate meals and slept together. Jean woke up a few times in the nights with Eren curled into his side. He would do things like straighten Eren’s clothing and worry when he saw Eren looking sad. Jean recalled the night they left when he wiped away Eren’s tears.

Jean sighed. He’d never been so close with someone before, so comfortable and familiar. And even rarer was for him to warm up to someone he’d been at odds with for so long. Looking back, his relationship with Eren had taken a 180 degree flip from when they left. It changed from Jean telling him to get the hell out of his house the first night to playing at a festival with Eren and sitting on the docks just talking and listening to music like they’d done it forever.

Jean thought back over the trip. Eren picked him because he hadn’t cared when they left, but it changed to Eren feeling like he could seek comfort from Jean. Maybe that was why they’d gotten so close. Jean thought about flustered Eren from when they ate lunch in the field and blushed. 

Is it possible to have a crush on someone without realizing it? Jean shook his head. No, he didn’t like Eren. Not like that, anyway. They were just good friends.

But, what if Eren did like him that way? He was certainly capable of liking men, and it would explain the brunet’s behavior over the past couple days. The more Jean thought about it the more confused he got. Didn’t Eren love Levi? Everyone in the group figured they were going to get engaged, so why was Eren possibly falling for someone who wasn’t Levi?

Jean let himself fall back onto the dock. He stared up at the sky and just let his mind shut down. It was too difficult to grasp and understand the situation without some explanation from Eren. Jean suddenly realized how long Eren had been gone. The band that had been setting up when they almost kissed had played and left. Eren had just been getting drinks.

Jean got up and picked up his shoes, not bothering to put them on. He started walking in the direction Eren went when he left. When he rounded the corner he could see the beer table, but the brunet was nowhere to be found. He started walking forward until his toes touched something on the ground. Jean looked down and saw Eren’s necklace that the little girl’s had made. The clasp was unknotted. Jean pocketed the trinket and decided to start looking.

He revisited all the places he and Eren had gone since they arrived. He even checked the car and thought about stopping by the nearest hotel to see if Eren got a room or something.

Suddenly a loud voice rang out across the street. “JEAN?! IS THAT YOU?!”

“Oh no.” Jean whirled around only to be swept up into a bone crushing hug. “Hey, Hanji,” Jean gasped as she squeezed him.

“OH I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!” she said lovingly before releasing him.

Jean took deep breaths as he regained his balance. She was so strong for someone her size, though Eren could lift him too. “You…missed me? We barely know each other,” he pointed out. Hanji stood before him with her hands clasped together. Her big brown eyes shone behind her square glasses and she wore her chocolate hair messily, though not up in a wild ponytail like Jean was used to seeing; instead it hung losely was divided into two little braids that rested on her shoulders. She had on a black band t-shirt with the logo for the concert tomorrow.

Hanji took a bright smile. “Yeah, but we’re still buds. And anytime someone I call a friend just drops off the face of the earth I start to worry.” Jean was a bit awestruck by this woman, just like always. “Oh! Where’s Eren? I thought he and you left together,” she said concern making a slight crease in between her eyebrows.

“I ahm, kinda lost him. Well more like he ran off and didn’t come back.” Jean said while rubbing the back of his undercut. 

“Really? What happened?”

Jean thought back to what almost happened on the dock and a blush crept to his ears, though if Hanji saw she didn’t say anything. “I’m…not really sure myself what happened…”

“Well then let’s just go find him, then. Since you two are here I want you to meet someone, but it won’t be the same if Eren isn’t here.” Hanji then took Jean by the wrist and began leading him through the crowd.

“So, Hanji,” Jean began.

“Hmm?”

“Are you here with anyone else? Like Erwin or anyone from back home?” he asked a bit worried.

“Levi isn’t here if that’s what you are concerned about.” As Hanji said it an evil glint appeared in her eye. “I bet you are afraid he’ll be mad about you stealing Eren away from all of us.”

Jean sighed. “Yeah. A little.”

“Well not to worry, it’s just me out here. The friend I’m meeting, we go way back, and I just felt like it wouldn’t be the same if I had everyone else here.” Her words reassured him. He’d seen that man handle a knife; Levi was not someone you wanted to piss off and Jean would definitely be earning himself a spot on the kill list should Levi ever find out what almost happened. There was a line just you didn’t cross when it came to the raven haired man, and Jean had just about cartwheeled over that dangerous line.

Jean and Hanji searched the whole festival, and unless Eren was moving, he definitely wasn’t there anymore. Before they could leave the colorful scene though, a man with auburn hair, hazel eyes and a bass guitar walked up.

“Hanji?” he asked a little uncertainly. He looked a bit nervous…and he had every right to because when Hanji turned around she just about took him out with the most violent hug Jean had ever seen. The man held his bass out from his body so as not to let Hanji damage it. 

“MOBLIT I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU IT’S BEEN FOREVER!” 

Moblit managed a smile and let out a strained, “good to see you too Hanji.”

She released him and took his hands, bouncing around on the balls of her feet like it was the most exciting moment in history. “Ok, Jean this is the coolest guy ever. His name is Moblit and he’s in the band that’s playing tomorrow. Moblit this is Jean he is a friend of a friend which also makes him a friend friend from back home in Trost.”

Jean nodded at Moblit. “Hey, I bet you were the friend she was talking about.”

Moblit rubbed the back of his neck. “Possibly. Though she always seems to have someone she knows on her arm, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not.” 

Hanji gave him a glare and put a finger to his lips. “No. You are the most perfect soul on the planet and there is no one else I should be talking about.” He gave a smile to show he understood. She clapped a little. “Yay! Ok so, Moblit, I have another amazing person who is almost as good of a friend as you are except he is tragically missing. Are you busy right now?”

Moblit shrugged. “No I was just walking around and spotted you.” 

“Good. You are helping us find him,” Hanji stated.

Moblit didn’t question her demand and just held out an elbow. She linked her arm around his and began walking towards the edge of the festival. She began to explain what Eren looked like and went off on some tangent that Jean tuned out as he followed. He began to wonder how Moblit could put up with Hanji for so long if they were as close as they seemed, childhood friends probably. 

They ended up all splitting up and going in a different direction to search the nearby parts of the city. The city wasn’t concentrated like Stohess and was spread out over a large area that mostly consisted of residential districts, and since Eren didn’t take the car he was more likely than not still within the town’s main area. Hanji headed north of the festival to check by the lake and a few restaurants. Moblit walked kinda southeast toward the main town square and in the school grounds and park since he knew the area well. Jean was left to go west and search the shops that lined the streets. Eren probably wasn’t in any of them. Jean got his hopes up a little when he found a store that sold records and old CD’s but Eren was still MIA.

After several hours Jean sat down on a street curb to rest. Hanji had called once saying she might have spotted the brunet, but since he hadn’t heard back in over 40 minutes he lets his hopes fall. Jean looked at his phone. It was almost 2 am. Jean sighed and texted Hanji saying that he was gonna get the car and start searching farther out. He stuck his phone in his back pocket and started walking back.

When he was about a block from the car he found Moblit sitting on a bench by the entrance to the festival looking exhausted. He was strumming idly at his bass and continued as Jean approached.

“Any luck?” the bassist asked. Jean shook his head and plopped down on the bench. Moblit set the instrument down and sighed. “Well it’s a bummer. I hope Hanji managed to track him down and just isn’t calling us back.” 

“Me too,” Jean mumbled. “Maybe he’ll turn up if we wait?”

“I figured the same thing.” 

Jean nodded and glanced down at the bass. “Um. Do you mind if I…” He pointed at the guitar.

Moblit chuckled a little. “Go ahead. Do you play?” 

It was Jean’s turn to laugh. “I used to. I probably suck now.” Though despite his words the instrument felt familiar in his hands and he plucked at the strings reveling in the deep vibrating notes that sounded. “The guy we’re looking for tried starting a band back when we were fifteen and I picked up bass guitar for it. I think we did okay, though no one ever came to see us. It was fun.”

Moblit smiled. “Well you can’t really make a living off of being a band, not anymore anyways. There’s just too many of us. You should just play because you like it, so I wouldn’t say your band was a failure even if the music didn’t sound good.”

“I do like it, still, though I sold my bass to get into college,” Jean said sheepishly. “It was the last thing we had from the band so I was actually a bit sad even though it never worked out.” 

“Hmm. Why don’t you take that bass then?” Moblit offered.

Jean almost dropped it. “Fuck! Are you serious? This is like a really nice bass.”

Moblit laughed. “Yes I’m serious. You don’t sound half bad, you like the instrument, you’re a friend of Hanji’s, and that’s my spare. I don’t see any reason not to give it to you.”

“No shit?” The bassist nodded and Jean looked down at the guitar with a big stupid grin on his face. “Thank you so much!” Jean remembered something he thought of earlier. “So how far back do you and Hanji go?”

“Well that’s a long boring story,” Moblit said sarcastically. Jean didn’t buy it; this was Hanji after all. “Well it was like, middle school and everyone was all hyped up about the 8th grade dance since it was the first we were allowed to attend. It was great for all the popular kids, but for a dork like me it was kind of a nightmare. Hanji was friends with everyone even then and was going to go as a large group with like everyone in the class, but when I didn’t seem thrilled, she took me aside and asked if I wanted to be her date.”

Jean’s jaw dropped. “No way. She just asked you out of nowhere?”

“Pretty much. I told her I didn’t want a pity date and she said that she didn’t pity me, she just wanted me to smile. And honestly, it was the most fun I ever had. After that, she never left my side. We pretty much lived at each other’s houses and my mom always made embarrassing comments about how I should marry her. We went out on a bunch of dates though we never like kissed or were boyfriend and girlfriend. She was literally just my best friend ever. Still is.” 

“She did have to leave when we went to college though she drove clear out here to visit me every month since I didn’t have a car for the longest time. She helped me start this band by being a roadie, and she scared off this cheating girlfriend I had. She’s just always been there for me.” Moblit finished his story and Jean was speechless.

“Eren always said Hanji was a good friend like that, though I didn’t believe she was anything besides spastic until you told me that,” Jean confessed eventually. Moblit shrugged. “That’s a lot of people’s first impression of her. But, it doesn’t bother her. I once asked her about it actually.” 

“What did she say?” Jean asked.

“She said that it was okay if not everyone took her seriously. That those who could see her as someone besides just some crazy girl were the ones who truly cared and took the time to know her. I truly admire her for thinking that way. And yes, she can go a little overboard at times, but I’ve seen her concentrated on something she enjoys and I’ve seen her fiercely protective of people she cares about and I’ve seen her sad and quiet when something goes wrong.” Then Moblit paused. “You know, she’s told me about Eren before. I think they are alike in that way. At first glance they appear one way and only those who know them and care for them really see what they are like.”

Jean smiled. “I guess you’re right. Eren seems like just a really angry guy at first, he can be such a dick, but he’s just passionate about things. His close friends all see it, but almost anyone else will get themselves into a fight because they think he’s being a jerk.”

Mobilt laced his fingers together and rested his head on his hands. “I think a lot of people are like that actually, but it just makes close friends and family all the more precious, especially if the person does get judged a lot based on first impressions.” Moblit looked over at Jean. He looked like he might have thought of something. “What exactly is your relationship with Eren?”

“Um. Well. We fought a lot. Even like right before this trip that brought us out here, I had punched him in the face not two days before he came to my house in the middle of the night asking to skip town with me. Apparently some shit went down and he hasn’t told anyone about it. Then he told me he wanted me to come because I wouldn’t care enough to ask what was wrong, but that when it seemed like I did care that he was actually more grateful that I was the one he picked. Then it just sort of changed from there. It’s only been about two weeks since we left and already we’ve gotten really close. And I mean REALLY close.”

Moblit seemed to concentrate on something in the distance. “Hmm, did anything happen that would make him feel like you might not want to be as close as you are?”

“I’m not sure. I mean we were fine earlier today, but…then we…” Jean dropped off after that. Moblit raised an eyebrow in inquiry. “I guess you could say we had a misunderstanding. I think we’re both really confused about it and he probably thinks he crossed some sort of line. I’m afraid that I did anyways.”

Moblit nodded. “Then the fix is easy. You just have to let him know that there’s nothing for him to be afraid of.” Jean looked confused. “He’s just worried that you, the only person he feels comfortable turning to right now, might not want to be around him after what happened. If you show him that you aren’t bothered by it, he won’t be worried,” the bassist explained.

“I hope we find him then,” Jean said sadly as he strummed the bass.

They were silent then. Jean’s phone rang in his pocket and he pulled it out. “Hello?”

“JEAN! I FOUND HIM! Go find Moblit!” Hanji screamed over the speakers. Jena didn’t even flinch, he was too focused on what she had said.

“I-I already found Moblit. Um, w-where are you guys?” Jean stammered out. He was so relieved that his voice was shaking.

“He’s up at the lake! I’m sending a picture of where we are! Moblit can bring you here!”

Jean pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the screen. It was a selfie of Hanji and Eren on a beach making funny faces at the camera. The lights of the festival were clear on the other side of the lake. Moblit looked at the screen and laughed because Hanji had Eren in a headlock with the words “Get yo asses ovah here!” written in the sand behind them. Jean found himself smiling at the picture; Eren was okay. He was going to punch that fucker so hard for making him worry.


	7. The night we met some strange and wonderful people (Eren's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of a two part chapter.
> 
> Eren encounters a man with a motorcycle and Hanji tries to help Eren progress in his relationship with Jean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own shit!
> 
> SO I don't know if its actually as long as it seems since I last updated, but school had just gotten so busy. Finals are upon us! It's like watching a scene from a horror film every time I walk down the hallways. The dread in my chest at the knowledge I probably forgot some obscure homework assignment, the zobified teenagers and twenty-somethings that are vibrating in little balls against the wall from over-caffeination and lack of sleep, the constant reminder that the end is coming, the fact that the last day of class is on my birthday (seriously WTF).
> 
> My point is this will probably be my last update until May 9th.
> 
> On a better note, I cant believe this story got over 500 hits! Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read my stuff! You are all angels!
> 
> This chapter felt kind of awkward, like there were a lot of things I wanted to put in and I considered breaking in into two parts and making this a three part chapter rather then making this single chapter nine pages long. But, I actually want to move on to the actual concert rather than spending more time on the night before.
> 
> I'm probably just going insane. I'm like ecstatic to get out of work 15 minutes early today. 
> 
> Anyways,  
> Hope you enjoy! (´▽`)

Eren looked around the corner when he heard the band change. Jean was still sitting on the dock looking dazed. Eren had walked off a while ago, but Jean hadn’t come looking or anything, not that Eren could blame him. The brunet finally stood up and walked off to find something to do.

Eren tried to occupy himself with looking around the festival, but his mind kept wandering back to the kiss he almost shared with Jean. How could he try something like that? He knew Jean’s preferences, yet he still tried it. 

A little while later Eren was walking around the business district to get away from the festival and he spotted Jean. For a moment he thought of going over and apologizing, but instead he ducked into the shop at his right and decided to hide for a few minutes. The store turned out to be a music store; vinyl records were stacked high in crates and old CD’s lined the shelves.

The man at the counter didn’t even look up when Eren entered the store and Eren noticed the headphones blasting music after a quick glance in the guy’s direction. Eren quickly found the 80’s section and flipped through the vinyl in quiet awe at some of the albums the store had managed to get its hands on.

Eren fished out one from a band he liked and ran his fingers along the cover. He approached the counter and knocked on the glass to gain the clerk’s attention. The man looked up and regarded him curiously. He pulled his headphones around his neck. “What’s up little man?”

“Got anyway to play this?” Eren held up the album and the man nodded. He pulled a record player from under the desk and set it on the counter. He placed the needle and Hell’s Bells by AC/DC began to play.

“Nice. Back in Black, this was like the second most popular album of the decade.” The man turned back to the magazine he was flipping through, Rolling Stone obviously. “You don’t seem like the type to listen to a band like AC/DC,” the man said looking Eren down.

“It’s probably the flower crown. Makes me look like a hippie,” Eren replied. 

The man smiled at that. “Nah, you look like one of those kids into the new age rock they play on the radio, careful that shit rots your brain.” 

“Gross. Now I’m insulted,” Eren joked. “At least I don’t look like a throwback from the 90’s.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, you are not dissing the grunge look. 90’s was a great time! Decent music, video games were changed forever, you can’t claim growing up in the 90’s sucked. It was when the 2000’s rolled around that things turned to shit, in like all aspects of everything.”

Eren took a closer look at the man, he wore a jean jacket and dark clothing true to the decade. His black hair was slicked back from his forehead and stuck out in a short point on the back of his head. His dark eyes darted back and forth over the text in the magazine. Eren figured he couldn’t be that much older than him. He had grown up in the 90’s as well.

“So, are you here for the music festival?” the man asked. Eren nodded. “It’s my favorite time of the year except the store doesn’t get much business since all the music is free and live during the festival.”

Eren shrugged. “At least you get to enjoy the party without having to drive for ages.”

“True. So why’re you in here rather than out at that party?” The man closed the magazine.

Eren rolled his eyes. “Cuz I’m an idiot that’s why. I fucked up again and it seems like I’m making a habit of ruining everything that comes my way.”

“Sucks. I’m sure this is fixable though. I mean how astronomically could you fuck up far away from home at a free festival?” 

Eren wrinkled his nose thinking about what Jean would say when he next saw him. “We’ll I might have royally creeped out my only friend who came here with me.” Suddenly Eren spotted the object of both his anxieties and affections in the window. Eren stumbled back and darted behind a shelf. “Shit.”

“That him?” The man pointed at the figure outside. Jean wasn’t facing the window but his two tone haircut with the purple flower crown Eren had given him was unmistakable. “He looks like he’s searching for something.”

Eren felt a flicker in his chest. Was Jean searching for him? He still wanted to see him? Or maybe just punch him in the face. Eren didn’t move. Jean disappeared as he continued down the street.

“You probably should just apologize.” The man said. “It’s the reasonable thing to do. In fact, go do it now cuz I’m closing the shop for dinner.”

Eren made a face as he emerged from the shelf. “Fine, kick me out.”

The man motioned toward the record still playing. “You buyin?” 

“I wish, but I don’t have anything to play it on,” Eren replied.

The man made a noise. “Shame. I’d give you this player but it’s the last one in the shop.” He pulled a helmet from below the counter and began to lock up. He shooed Eren onto the street a moment later. Eren looked around, but Jean had disappeared. He still felt uneasy. “I mean it about apologizing you could probably catch up to him if you start now.”

The man then got on his motorcycle and drove away with a quick salute. Eren watched him go and considered waiting around for the man to return and reopen the shop after his break, but decided that was just pathetic. It did strike him that his encounter with the guy was similar to the barista he met in Stohess. He thought about the advice the blond man gave him too, how Jean would still like him even if he screwed up and that since Jean followed him on the trip in the first place that he really cared for Eren.

He knew Jean was around here, he could catch up. Eren thought about going back and apologizing. He knew he had to, even before the clerk told him so, but Eren was still afraid. Eren thought back to the night he left, why he left in the first place. He also thought about making a dumb excuse or turning it into a joke. Jean didn’t deserve that shit though, so the brunet, in a perpetual state of undecidedness, stalked off in the direction of the lake thinking Jean wouldn’t look there.

Jean ended up not looking by the lake, much to Eren’s relief.

Eren chucked rocks across the mirror surface of the lake. He searched through the gravel at his feet for round, flat stones. It was dumb, hiding like this. The guy at the store was right, and he’d have to go back to Jean eventually, but he’d also probably made things a thousand times worse by running away. Eren was just so ashamed of taking advantage of Jean like that.

“Fuck.” Eren let his knees buckle and he flopped onto the ground. His legs bent in front of him and the soft sand clinging to his rolled up jeans. He sat with his hands clasped limply in his lap and looked across the dark surface of the water to the festival. Even from there he could make out the colors and just barely hear the music. The brunet sighed deeply.

Everything just felt so fucked up. The world was tilted and this situation was just another mistake to chuck on top of the pile he had no hope of fixing. Maybe he could fix this one, but his mind was hopelessly void of ideas. How on earth could he handle this correctly? Eren shook his head violently, hoping to clear his head, but it just made him dizzy.

The light crunch of sand underfoot jolted Eren from his reverie and he whipped around. His first thought was that Jean somehow tracked him down and wanted an explanation, but even that unlikely situation seemed more real than having Hanji standing before him.

“Hullo Eren,” she offered with a wide smile. 

Eren stood abruptly. What was Hanji doing there? Jean and Eren were a good 1500 miles from home and here was one of his best friends standing five feet away sporting a t-shirt with the band’s logo that he and Jean were supposed to see the next day. She started to close the distance and Eren took a reflexive step back. Eren cringed when he saw the hurt flash across her brown eyes.

For a moment she kept her distance then she continued to walk toward Eren. Eren looked at his feet, shame overtaking him. How could he be such an ass? Hanji and he were so close before they left and Eren hated himself for putting that expression on her face if only for a fleeting moment. 

“I’m sorry.”

Hanji blinked, not expecting the words. Then her smile returned. “It’s alright Eren. We’re still best friends.” She came and stood next to him, before draping an arm over his shoulder and pulling him close. “So what’s up?”

Eren fidgeted in her grip. “A lot of shit.”

“Hmm. Doesn’t sound like very much fun.” She regarded him carefully.

“Hanji, I screwed up.” Eren confessed.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asked quietly.

Eren shook his head. “Not really.” She accepted his answer by ruffling his hair until it stuck up straight. She laughed, and Eren found himself doing the same.

After a moment Hanji spoke again. “Eren, I am DYING to know what happened back home, but I’m gonna hold off on the questions before I scare you away.” Eren thanked her but she cut him off before he could continue. “In exchange though, you HAVE to tell me what happened here!” she clarified. Eren groaned.

“What are you talking about?” There was no way she knew.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” she replied.

“Ugh. No.” Eren buried his face in his hands.

“Then I’m gonna bug you about what happened back home!”

Eren dragged his hands down his face dramatically. “Jesus. Nothing happened.”

Hanji poked Eren making him jump. “Liar.”

“Hanji,” he said with a scowl.

“Eren,” she retorted with a grin.

“Stop.” His voice edged with irritation. Hanji was unfazed. 

“Nope!”

“I’m not talking.”

“PLEASE!”

“No!”

“Deal is a deal!”

“I never agreed!”

They went back and forth until Hanji was laughing and Eren was pouting. She nudged him with her elbow. “Come onnnnn,” she pressed.

I sighed heavily. “God. Ok well, for what happened back in Trost…I don’t wanna elaborate on anything, but…” Eren fumbled on his words, trying to find the right ones. “It’s like…I screwed up so much so badly that Levi didn’t even want me anymore…”

She gasped and let her arm fall away from his shoulders. “You and Levi broke up?” Eren nodded sadly. “Oh, you poor soul.” She drew him into a hug which he gladly accepted. He let his head rest on her shoulder. “It’s a surprise, you two loved each other so much. Weren’t you guys gonna get married?” Eren leaned into the hug and let the tears fall. He wondered when he became such a crybaby, this was probably the third time he’d openly cried since Levi walked out on him.

Eren’s voice was thick and cracked when it came out. “I thought so too.” He shifted in her arms and she drew him in as close as she could, a deft hand carding through his hair. “Hanji?” She hummed in inquiry. “Have you ever felt just so useless? And like everything is so fucked up that it’ll never be right again?” 

“Eren.” Hanji drew away and cupped Eren’s face in her hands. “You are not useless. Whatever happened can be fixed even if it’s not easy.” She paused for a moment. “Maybe I’m the wrong person to ask, though. I can’t really empathize with the way you feel since I’ve never considered myself a burden, nor have I had a bad breakup before since my relationships were all so casual.”

Eren wiped at his tears, and although he was grateful for her honestly and the fact she wasn’t feeding him a pack of lies about how it would be okay just like that, he didn’t find himself feeling much better. She hummed lightly in thought.

“Ah! You know, I may not be able to help you right now, but I know someone who probably can!” Hanji was then grinning at him. 

Jean. She didn’t even need to say it. Eren felt Jean would be the best to talk to when the time came and wouldn’t bug him for information until he was ready, though the latter proved to be false if only a little bit. It was the reason Eren sought him out and brought him with.

Hanji nudged him. “Sooooo!” Eren did not like where this was going. “What did happen between the two of you tonight that made Jean all hot and bothered?”

“God, he was NOT hot and bothered.” Eren suddenly realized that he had not mentioned Jean being here once. “Did you run into that dick at the festival or something?”

“Maybe,” she said in a sing-song voice. Then she pouted heavily, bottom lip stuck out and everything. “He wouldn’t tell me what happened either,” she grumbled.

Eren wiped his tears away since he was now smiling at the mental image of Hanji pestering Jean in a similar manner to how she always did to him and Levi back home. He decided there was really no harm in telling her about tonight. “I, ah, might have, maybe, kissed him.” When Hanji’s grin grew wide he backpedalled. “Um! But, not really. Some cunt on stage startled us before anything happened.”

Hanji giggled. “He’s such a cute little babe getting all flustered over a kiss.”

Eren giggled too. “Like, shit, he still doesn’t know me and Levi broke up, but I guess I’m feeling hesitant to tell him anything because I’ll probably not stop talking once I start. What if he leaves once he knows everything?”

Hanji considered the question. “Well, I think that you have every right to be scared because of Levi’s reaction, but I wouldn’t worry, he won’t leave.”

Eren crossed his arms. “Oh yeah? The love of my freaking life left. Why won’t Jean leave?”

Hanji laughed. “Oh you two are so cute. He won’t leave cuz he’s your best friend.”

“Armin is my best friend,” Eren argued.

“Tut tut tut,” she scolded. “You do not even realize! If you felt more comfortable talking to Armin then you would have brought him with. Face it you and Jean have something extra super special.” Eren noted a little sparkle in her eyes at her next sentence. “Plus, he’s got the most adorable crush on you.”

Eren let his mouth fall open. “I- he- no way. He doesn’t have a crush on me. He’s a straight as a board and believes I’m getting married to a man who could kill him in 80 different ways with a paperclip.” Hanji simply shrugged, but her grin made Eren a bit mad. “A-and I don’t have a crush on him either Hanji!” She giggled. “Ugh, stop!”

“I think this calls for intervention.”

Eren narrowed his eyes at her. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Hanji threw an arm around him and motioned off into the distance. “I can see it now! Tomorrow during the concert you and Jean are just bein adorable like you are.”

“Hanji,” Eren interupted in attempt to get her to stop.

“All up in each other’s space, pretending like the other doesn’t notice. It’ll be total, tragic denial.”

“Hanji!”

“Then I get the amazing band leader to play the perfect song! I’ll go around and set the mood, adding little subliminal messages.”

“Oh my god Hanji.”

“And you two will get so caught up in it that you can’t help but get your smooch on. Then you two go back to a soft, wonderful bed and make sweet, sweet, drunk love.”

“HANJI!” Eren hid his face in his hand and punched Hanji in the shoulder lightly. “God, you are so embarrassing! We are not doing that!” She giggled again at the shade of his ears.

She grabbed his cheek like a grandparents would and pulled. “Aww, you are so cute!” Eren swatted at her hand and freed himself. “You know, Jean was all worried about you. He was looking for you when I found him.” 

Eren rubbed at his cheek, but still blushed a little at the statement. “He was worried?”

“Yep.” Suddenly Hanji’s text alert went off. “Ah! I’ll bet that’s him! I should call him and tell him that I found you!” She pulled out the small device.

Eren lunged and swiped the phone from her hand. “You are not calling him! You’ll say shit!”

“Then you call him.” Hanji motioned at the phone in Eren’s hand.

Eren shook his head. “Fuck that.”

“Call him and tell him you love his body and want to dance the dance of love.” She quickly took her phone back and began looking through the contacts. Eren reached out, but she held him at arm’s length. He jumped forward in attempt to reach the phone, but all he managed was to make them fall into the sand. Hanji giggled and selected Jean’s number. Eren reached over her and covered the keypad with his palm. Hanji tried to pry his hand away and they scuffled around in attempt to get full control of the cell phone.

“HA!” Eren yelled and he pulled the phone from Hanji’s grasp. She didn’t give up though and yanked him back down in the sand. They ended up with one hand each on the phone again and rolled around until the sound of a picture being taken echoed through their ears. 

Hanji looked at the phone and a blurry picture of them wrestling in the sand popped up on the screen. She giggled and showed it to Eren. They were both smiling.

Eren gave in, breathing heavily from their tumble. “Ugh, fine you can text him. Don’t call, or he’ll ask to talk to me.”

“Are you just afraid that he’ll leave?” Hanji asked seriously.

Eren shrugged. “I mean, like, I told a person who I thought I could trust anything with and he just called me irresponsible and told me we were done. I don’t want to say I’m afraid of what other’s think, but that’s exactly what’s happening now. I’m afraid to put my trust in someone else even if it’s you or Mikasa. So, maybe I’m being a baby, but I still don’t want to risk everyone walking out like Levi did.”

“Hmm. I feel like there must be a misunderstanding. Levi can be a big meanie sometimes, but that seems a little harsh even for him.” Hanji grabbed Eren’s face suddenly. “I got it! When you and Jean get together you gotta tell him what happened. If he doesn’t leave then you gotta tell the rest of us. Deal?”

Eren rolled his eyes “IF me and Jean get together.” Hanji looked at him expectantly. “Fine, deal.” 

Hanji grinned and began to type out a text but paused. “No I have a better idea.” Hanji stood and started writing something in the sand. Eren stood back and laughed when ‘GET YO ASSES OVAH HERE’ was spelled out in the sand before him. “Okay Eren! Comere!” Eren walked over to her and she quickly threw her arm around him and pulled him into a headlock. She held the camera up high so as to get the words in the background and snapped a picture. 

Next she began looking through her contacts. “Hanji!” Eren protested. “You said you wouldn’t call!”

“But I wanna hear his voice when he hears you’re okay! It’ll be like some sappy scene out of one of those chick flicks Erwin watches!” She was almost vibrating with excitement in her involvement in Eren’s love life.

“Shit Hanji, why are you so obsessed?” Eren asked, more than a little concerned.

“Cuz it’s just so damn cute!” She said happily. “I’m totally calling him!”

“I’m walking over here then.” Eren stepped back a few feet. Hanji laughed.

“So shy…” she said before finally pressing the button to call Jean.

“Hello?” Even from a few feet away Eren could hear the concern in Jean’s voice. He really was hoping Hanji had good news. 

“JEAN! I FOUND HIM! Go find Moblit!” Hanji screamed into the speakers. Jean said something back, but Eren didn’t catch it this time. “He’s up at the lake! I’m sending a picture of where we are! Moblit can bring you here!” Hanji then hung up and texted the selfie of her and Eren to Jean.

Eren sighed. Now all that was left was talking to Jean. Then he thought of something. “Oh yeah. Hanji? Who’s Moblit?”

“My bud,” she said simply with a smile. “You’ll love him. He’s kinda the greatest friend ever.” She and Eren sat down in the sand then and began to wait for Moblit and Jean to arrive. They pulled up about fifteen minutes later in Eren’s pickup. Hanji stood and waved and pulled Eren up too. He didn’t stay up for long though as Jean ran for Eren as soon as he got out of the car, shoving the shorter into the sand with a loud thud.

“YOU IDIOT! WHY’D YOU RUN OFF?!” Jean yelled, clearly mad. “DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW LONG WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!?”

Eren squirmed under Jean’s glare. “Sorry.”

Jean sighed, irritated, and crossed his arms. “Shit. You’re really fucking lucky I like you.”

Eren blushed. “You like me?”

“Well yeah. Duh.” Jean then took note of Eren’s blush and backtracked. “WHAT? NO! Not like that! Like- god!! I’m not—” Hanji giggled behind them and Jean sent her a venomous glare that did little to faze her. Eren started to laugh as well and Jean kicked him in the hip. Jean then sighed and pulled Eren up, right into his arms. “Don’t do that again, asshole.”

Eren returned the hug. “I won’t.” He meant it. 

“AWW! SO adorable!” Hanji squealed and jumped up and down in place. Even Moblit looked amused at her side.

Eren released himself from Jean’s hug and chased after Hanji yelling, “AGH SHUT THE FUCK UP!” She led him out into the water and in no time they were soaked from head to toe. 

Jean drove the four of them back to town where Moblit let them stay in his apartment. It was only one bedroom so Eren and Jean were banished to the living room, but neither seemed to mind as Hanji walked out of the bedroom to find them sound asleep and cuddling on the single couch in the room.

She pulled a blanket out of the closet and laid it over them before snapping a quick picture of the two of them. She grinned at her phone before whispering a soft, “Goodnight,” and retreating into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.


	8. The moment I realized I liked you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Jean spend the day awkward and angry (cuz that's how they solve their problems), but they make up alright in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *That disclaimer thing i do each time*
> 
> Hello I'm the worst for being gone almost a month longer than I said i was going to be! ヽ(；▽；)ノ 
> 
> On a better note: I’m back to writing! I still have two jobs so I can’t just sit down and spend a day writing multiple chapters like I did when I started, but I will have about a chapter a week. Maybe more because some are already mostly written out.
> 
> This one took a little longer because I’m getting back into the scheme of things, I also had to rewrite the chapter because it seemed to rushed when I first wrote it, but I’ve been looking at your comments and I’m so glad there are people looking forward to what I’m writing. I hope I did their reactions alright. Whenever me and my friends have issues we always end up making it worse and either fighting a ton or just making a bunch of people sad before someone finally admits they were wrong or figures out the issue and we make up in like .03 seconds. Maybe we’re just weird though.
> 
> By the way, I wanted the band to be Hanji’s squad members. Nifa, Keiji, “Goggles” (THAT POOR MAN DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A NAME FOR FUCKS SAKE) I salute to you. To think I’m putting this chapter out right as they all got obliterated. We must now all protect Moblit, he’s the last one. At least they are all alive and safe here! > _(:3」∠)
> 
> Anyways, sorry about the long hiatus. I’m back for good and will be working on this almost exclusively in my free time until its done. SO fun to write!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! (*´∀`*)/

Eren nuzzled his face into the warmth surrounding him. He startled a little when the warmth shifted beneath him, but calmed down when something heavy settled across the small of his back. Arms. Jean’s arms. Keeping him warm. Yes. Jean’s hug tightened. Eren smiled into Jean’s shoulder contentedly at how warm and safe he felt.

“Mornin’,” Jean mumbled sleepily into Eren’s fluff of brown hair. Eren hummed. Jean turned on his side dragging Eren along with him and letting the brunet settle between him and the back of the couch. Eren slunk his arms around Jean and buried his face into Jean’s neck, but on the verge of falling back asleep, Eren remembered the night before and shrunk back. Jean quickly loosened his grip and rolled off the couch, flopping awkwardly on the floor. Eren rolled over and buried his face in the pillow instead.

“Um. So, thanks for getting me last night…” Eren offered. Jean grunted on the floor. 

Jean shivered and yanked the blanket tighter around him. After a moment he glanced up at Eren and tried to say something to fill the awkward moment, but as soon as he opened his mouth Eren got up off the couch and stepped over him. Jean watched as Eren disappeared a little too quickly into the kitchen. He glared after Eren for a millisecond before rising from the couch to follow, blanket draped over his shoulders. Jean entered the kitchen to see Eren digging through cupboards. Deciding it was too early to keep up with the brunet, Jean flopped into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

“Ugh. It’s too early to be up with what time we went to bed,” Jean griped at the man standing before him and Eren turned to look at him, his expression confused and a little accusing. 

“Um.” Eren looked like he wanted to walk over and slip back into Jean’s arms, but he held himself back.

Eren furrowed his brows and looked at Jean challengingly, waiting for the taller to bring up the night before. The taller male caught onto the expectant way Eren was standing, as if he were ready to take a punch, but more subtle. Maybe Moblit’s advice would work, about making Eren feel as though Jean wouldn’t leave, but nothing Jean could come up with was that convincing.

Eren dropped the mug he pulled from the cupboard. It hit the tile with a loud clank and bounced off the tile closer to Jean, but didn’t shatter. He looked down at it. Jean shook his head and Eren let out a breath.

“Klutz,” Jean said steadily. Eren looked up at Jean and down at his feet again. Jean shifted in his chair. It was awful, but neither knew a way to comfort the other, so nothing was said.

“Aww! What a wonderful little display to wake up to. So much sexual tension! ” Hanji was suddenly in the door. Jean threw the floor mug at her and she caught it easily with a little laugh. “You can’t fool me, Jean. Plus it’s rude to almost break your host’s glassware.” She then sauntered into the kitchen. Eren decided to take a seat at the table across from Jean, and as she passed she pressed a kiss to Eren’s temple. “Good morning, love.” Eren smiled in return, and she did the same as she passed Jean.

“We still barely know each other,” Jean deadpanned as she pulled away.

“How do you like your eggs?” she replied.

Forty minutes later Moblit slugged out of the bedroom with some truly amazing bedhead. Hanji and Eren were seated on the couch watching and quoting Spongebob and eating bacon while Jean was passed out on the floor in front of the coffee table in a cocoon of blankets, only his tuft of chestnut hair and the ends of his socks visible in the heap and a half-full coffee cup forgotten on the table. Moblit was dragged down onto the couch with Hanji as he tried to walk past into the kitchen.

“g’morn Hanj,” he mumbled. 

Hanji laughed. “You and Jean both. Such lazy bums.”

“We are creatures of the night,” Moblit said dramatically with an overemphasized scowl. 

Eren snorted. “Jean falls asleep before me. He’s just a loser.” His comment was met when one of Jean’s dirty socks landed across Eren’s face. Eren ripped the offensive fabric away and let it fall to the floor with a look of disgust plastered on his features. Jean smirked in his blanket pile and Eren noticed his single bare foot. “You’re gross too,” he said with a glare.

Jean sat up and leaned against the coffee table. “Oh yeah? Well you’re a shitty brat.”

“Ok it makes sense for Mike or Levi to call me that, but you are literally not even a year older than me,” Eren retorted angrily as he leaned forward as well.

“Go suck a dick, Jeager. I’m way more mature than you.” 

“Gladly.” Eren shot back. “And you’re just a total shitbird. No mature person says things like ‘go suck a dick’.”

“Well I—” Jean began.

“Now…” Eren and Jean felt a hand slip across the back of their heads. “KISS!”

Hanji closed the short distance between their faces into a disaster of a kiss. Noses bumped and teeth clacked as their faces met violently. Moblit snorted loudly from his position on the couch. Jean squirmed his way out of Hanji’s grip and leapt over the couch after her. Eren just sat at the coffee table mortified.

“Motherfucker,” Jean complained a short while later. Staring back at him in the mirror was a brilliant swelled lip from where Eren’s teeth had caught. Hanji had hell to pay. Eren hadn’t looked him in the eye since Hanji hecked up. They had also had their first real argument since the night they left, hearing the venom back in Eren’s insults made Jean’s heart ache.

“Stop looking at it,” Eren suddenly said from beside him. 

Jean practically left out of his skin. He held a hand to his chest as he glared at the brunet. “It’s partially your fault dickwad,” Jean snapped. 

“Doesn’t matter, just get out. You’re hogging the bathroom,” the brunet warned as he set down a glass from the kitchen.

Jean snorted. “Fucker. Don’t start talking to me like that. You had no issue cramming yourself in the hotel bathroom with me earlier this week.” Eren looked like a kicked puppy; albeit a little angrier. Without a word he spun Jean around and started shoving him towards the door. “Knock it off Eren!” Jean swatted back at him. A series of light slaps echoed in the bathroom. Moblit got up from the couch when he heard Eren yelp in pain. Moblit entered with a raised eyebrow just in time to see Eren squirt toothpaste in Jean’s hair.

“DICK!” Jean yelled as he tried to remove the substance from his hair.

Eren sporting a quickly bruising cheek. “YOU’RE THE DICK! AT LEAST TOOTHPASTE COMES OUT!” he said motioning to his cheek. When Jean didn’t respond the brunet bristled and filled the glass he had set on the counter when he entered the room. “Here dick. I’ll help you out,” he said as he emptied the cup over Jean’s head.

“FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!!” Jean yelled as he pushed Eren back. Moblit quickly snatched the cup away and stepped in to break up the fight then. 

“I think I’d like that insult on a shirt in cursive,” Hanji commented from the door.

Moblit glanced at her coolly. “Hanji, you’re not being too helpful now.” Hanji giggled a little.

They were banished to the living room, but when they continued to argue, Moblit kicked them out. Jean forgot all about making amends and just watched as Eren stalked off down the street. He sulked on the curb still dripping wet. Hanji appeared on the curb a moment later asking Jean to help clean. He disappeared inside, and later after apologizing, Moblit wasn’t angry but only concerned at Eren’s disappearance again.

“Moblit puts up with a lot of shit doesn’t he?” Jean asked. Hanji just shrugged and continued to get ready. Soon the three of them were walking the streets of Karanese. Along with the festival it was also a weekend so most everything was closed, making it a bit easier to find the brunet with no shops to duck into.

Hanji spotted him only a few minutes after they started searching the festival, much to their relief. Even in the aftermath of losing the brunet again, Jean found nothing to say and the remainder of the afternoon was spent pretending to act normally around Eren. Jean guessed that Eren was doing much of the same thing. Moblit excused himself to go rehearse after a while.

“Moblit’s in a band?” Eren asked. 

Hanji slurped her drink loudly before answering. “Yesh he is.”

“He’s the one who gave me the bass in the car.” Jean flicked Hanji in the ear when she started slurping again.

Eren blinked. “We have a bass in the car?”

“You missed it? That really nice black thing I had laid across all of our clothing?” Jean furrowed his brows. “You went out to the car and grabbed my jacket that was sitting underneath it last night.” When Eren didn’t show recognition Jean felt himself panic. “Holy shit. What if someone broke into the car and took it?! Did I leave the door unlocked?!” He registered Eren’s snickers and glared.

Eren removed his hand and laughed openly after Jean caught him. “Yes I saw it,” he said still laughing. “I was wondering where you got it. Will you let me play it?”

“Not anymore fucker!!” The taller shot back. Eren pouted.

“Hey! As cute as you two are…” Jean sent her an unamused glance. Eren looked down at his hands. “…I’m gonna break up this little spat cuz we gotta find good seats at the stage. The best band ever starts in two hours!” Hanji said excitedly. She ushered them up from their seats and started leading them in the direction of the park. 

The first of the night’s bands ascended the stage and began setting up. The grass quickly filled up with blankets and chairs as people started saving spots for the concert. Eren picked seats while Jean and Hanji went to get beers. The night came on quickly and four bands in they were pleasantly stoned having brought the remainder of the pot. Jean laughed a little too often and swayed to the music, Hanji was louder than normal, and Eren found himself being a little bolder than usual with his dancing but quick to stop when he failed a backflip. At some point the sky want dark and a light rain fell, not that it did much to dampen the moods of those at the concert.

Eren watched as the stage went dark and the next band ascended. It was the band in the flyer that the barista gave Eren and the one that Hanji wore t-shirts for all weekend. A large applause accompanied the lights when they returned and Hanji, loudest of all, screamed “GO GET EM MOBLIT!” when the familiar brown haired man took his place on stage in front of the microphone. The rest of the band came into view instruments at the ready. Each wore white jeans and a crop jacket with blue and white wings emblazoned on the back, shoulders, and left front pocket.

Moblit introduced the band as The Scouts and soon the sound of his bass filled the park. The single girl on stage, a short young woman with black cropped hair, began tapping at the drums lightly while a tall man in goggles entwined his guitar plucking with Moblit’s strums. The last person on stage was a guy with very short black hair who stood at a keyboard, playing with deft fingers. 

They played songs about flying and about standing together. They sang loud and beautifully for all to hear, hacking at corruption and wishing for freedom. Eren listened wide-eyed and attentive because these four people sang of things he’d always fought for. Jean listened in a similar manner and at one point their eyes met. Eren ducked his head and instantly Jean felt his apprehension melt away. As they began their last song Hanji ran off.

Left without another companion Eren and Jean stood awkwardly in the rain. Jean was about to press the issue but Eren spoke first.

“Hey, Jean?”

The taller glanced down at the brunet. “What?”

Eren stood quietly for a moment, but to Jean the rest of the world sounded like it was muffled behind a wall. “If you wanna pack your stuff and go back with Hanji after tonight, I understand.”

Jean’s eyes widened. “W-where is this coming from?” he stammered. No, that wasn’t what he wanted.

Eren suddenly looked angry. “We’ve been stepping around each other and fighting all day.” He had said it accusingly because Jean knew it as well.

“I-well… yeah but why would I leave?” Jean asked honestly. Eren stopped talking then. The final song finished and crowd began cheering for an encore, but neither of the pair were paying much attention. 

In the loud crowd Eren yelled, but Jean probably would have heard the brunet even if he whispered. “It bothers you that I like you! I don’t have a problem with last night, at all! I wanted to kiss you because I like you! I guess that’s the problem though…” The last part was no longer a confession but simply Eren trying to accept that Jean felt nothing in return.

Jean paused. It really didn’t bother him. He’d gotten over the initial shock of last night, but even with all that had happened, he’d never been bothered by the prospect that Eren may like him. Was that good? The awkwardness had been from his own uncertainty and being too cautious around Eren, not from the fear that the brunet harbored feeling for him. 

“It doesn’t bother me.”

Eren was silent. He watched Jean for any sign that he could be lying. “Since when?” he said suspiciously.

“I don’t… I don’t fucking know! I just…” Jean blushed and watched the stage. The band had retaken their place for the encore and Hanji was waving down at the crowd with them. She took a place in front of one of the microphones holding an electric violin. Jean was mildly curious about her ability in playing, but returned his attention to Eren. “Look. I’m not sure what I’m feeling but I sure as hell aren’t disgusted so just stop thinking that! Like fuck. If I wanted to leave I would have fucking done it last night when you ditched me. Is that really the reason you ran away?”

“Ok. And yeah,” Eren admitted. “Thank you for not leaving.”

In that moment Jean realized it was exactly as Moblit had said. Eren had just been afraid. Jean quickly closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Eren. The shorter followed suit and hugged Jean back. They slumped together, equally exhausted from how stressed they’d both been all day.

“Jean if you aren’t disgusted by it…can we at least go back to being friends like we were?” Eren asked nervously.

“Yes of course you shit.”

Eren smiled into Jean’s shoulder. “Good.”

They stood together even as the music started playing again. Jean ruffled Eren’s hair. It had only been about twenty hours since they tried to kiss and in that time Jean realized how much he cared for Eren. The thought of driving the brunet away was terrifying and the thought of him coming closer was mildly comforting. Jean took a leap of faith, maybe Eren would catch him…

“Eren? Is friends all you want?”

Eren’s grin was apparent even without Jean seeing it. He pulled away from their hug and watched Jean with those brilliant green eyes. “Are you insinuating that you want more?” he asked smugly.

Jean went beat red “NO! I just… Just answer the fucking question,” he snapped.

Jokes aside Eren seemed to consider it seriously this time. “I’m ok with friends,” he amended, “but I wouldn’t complain if we actually got to finish that kiss.” His cheeks went rosy with the last few words. “And that shit Hanji pulled earlier when we were arguing doesn’t count!” he quickly added.

“Alright…” Before something could stop them this time, Jean leaned in and brushed his lips against Eren’s. The brunet froze.

“Wh-why did you do that?” Eren stammered; he was grinning though.

“Because…” Because Jean wanted to make Eren happy… that was the way it had been since they left. In every situation Jean had been trying to make Eren smile and not knowing what made Eren sad in the first place was killing him, but Jean just don’t know how to say it. “Did it make you happy?” he asked.

Eren touched his lips, which was sweet. “Yeah. This would make me happier though…”

Eren stepped closer and then put his hands on either side of Jean’s face. The brunet gently pulled him down into another kiss. This one was slower, uninterrupted, and beautiful. Jean melted into Eren and rested his hands on Eren’s waist. Eren got closer, letting his hands travel across Jean’s shoulders and around his neck. The music played around them, the lanterns strung over the river lit up the scene dimly, the little flares inside reflecting off the slow moving water, and the crowd danced around them. Jean opened his lips and Eren followed suit letting their tongues mingle. They pulled apart as the encore delved into the second chorus, but before Eren let go he placed a chaste kiss to Jean’s lips.

Jean and Eren watched the remainder of the song, cheering as Hanji and the band descended the stage. They didn’t leave right away though, and another band ascended to play. Over the length of the concert, Jean noted Eren’s closeness again very much like the night before. It became more apparent to him as he sobered from his high, but in the circumstance there seemed no reason to push him away. He slung an arm around Eren when he realized that there was no reason to push the brunet away in any circumstance. They were rivals, friends, and Jean would finally admit in his head that he had a bit of a crush on Eren.

Since the beginning Jean had just wanted Eren to be happy. He went out of his way to make him smile and when they are close dancing Jean realized that the situation didn’t feel bad. He liked being near Eren, and even though he’s always argued about being straight to all his friends, he doesn’t think he’d push Eren away even right in front of them. Or anybody. Jean wrapped an arm around Eren’s waist and they stood flush together. Yes, he no longer felt ashamed or scared if it meant Eren could be close.


	9. The time we got hardcore shipped by your best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji continues being a Hanji while Eren and Jean have one last night of fun before moving on from Karanese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or the concept, or any of the music I'm using in this entire story.
> 
> Ok, I'm just really bad at updating... On the bright side the next chapter is almost finished I really just have to proofread it.
> 
> I don't have much to say this time, but here's a short little tidbit:  
> Did I ever mention what hanji does for a living? I don’t think so so im gonna say it in this notes. She is studying to be a emergency room surgeon specializing is head injuries and is an intern at the hospital where Eren worked part time before he left. There's a little bit about what happened to make Eren run coming up in a few chapters and Hanji plays a big part in it so I'm excited I can write more of her character along with Mikasa and a few other back home in Trost.
> 
> i based their drunken slurring off the way my two friends sound so I hope it seems at least a little believable. They tent to merge words together into a long string of syllables and deciphering it is a chore at times. one of them also really accentuates her R's and its like the strangest thing ever. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter! (๑>ᴗ

“TO THE BEST CONCERT EVER PERFORMED!” Hanji crowed in the bar. She held up her cocktail over their table and the other six followed. Glasses clinked and people cheered.

A while after their kiss, Hanji tracked down Jean and Eren in the crowd and dragged them off to the bar with Moblit and the band. One the way she did note their better moods and pestered for details.

“Sooooo. You two seem a lot happier than when I left you,” she said slyly. Jean sputtered. Eren rolled his eyes. Hanji grinned. “Yeah. And if you guys don’t spill I’m gonna put ants in all your clothes!”

Eren laughed. “Jeez. Happy twelfth birthday Hanji!”

“Like you are any better,” Jean mumbled. Eren flicked Jean on the side of the head. Jean caught his wrist to stop another flick. 

Eren narrowed his eyes. “You fucker.” Jean just grinned and held fast when Eren made to escape. He pulled the brunet a fraction closer.

“YOU GUYS ARE SUCH OBVIOUS FLIRTERS!!!” Hanji screamed across the table. She was already drunk and her volume control was fucked.

Keiji, the keyboardist, rolled his eyes next to her. “Just let them be. I like this bar, so don’t get us kicked out.” The black haired drummer who was introduced as Nifa giggled at the exchange. The final member of the band was the guitarist which everyone else called “Goggles”.

By midnight the bar was packed and everyone in the band drunk. Hanji, as tribute to Eren and Jean’s short stay with the band, finished off the night with a round of Jagermeister. “I wish you luck Jeager!” she held her shot glass to Eren who had already knocked his back. “Future Jeager!” she held her glass to Jean who gave her a confused look before his boozed brain decoded her meaning. Moblit was as fucked as the rest of them despite his knack for keeping Hanji out of danger, and laughed, leaning into Hanji’s shoulder.

The group stumbled home from the bar, unable to drive and giggling the whole way in the rain. Hanji was the worst off and Moblit and Goggles took turns carrying her. Jean paused to hurl in the gutter, Eren laughing at his inability to hold his liquor. Nifa and Keiji continued to stumble down the sidewalk taking no notice. Eren decided they’d catch up, letting the band go.

“Nothin’ like gedding shitfaced.” Jean grimaced as he sat down on the curb. Too many shots for one beer he decided. Eren continued to be giggly and pulled at Jean’s clothing until the taller male stood unsteadily and let himself be pulled over to a shop front canopy. Eren leaned into Jean, still laughing, and attempted a kiss. “Gross, I jus’ threw up,” Jean protested.

Eren twirled in the puddles until Jean yanked him back under the canopy. “Wha beder place ta kiss then inda rain?” he slurred.

“Shuddup you poetic fuck,” Jean said with a grin.

Eren made to try again but only stumbled forward and fell into Jean, shoving them into the shop window. Jean slid down the wall and settled on the sidewalk with Eren between his legs. Eren wrapped his arms around Jean and sighed. Jean took notice of his trembling.

“Arya cold?” Eren didn’t say anything but stuffed icy hands into Jean’s jacket pockets. He then paused at the presence of something else in the pocket and pulled out the necklace he had received from the girls. “Oh ye. I picked tha’ up las’ nigh’ when I couldn’t fin’ you. Was really worried”

Eren stared at the glass bead in the weaving and smiled, lulling his head against Jean. “Put it on?”

“Yea.” He brought the trinket around Eren’s neck and fumbled with the clasp clumsily. “Move yur head stupid. I can’t tieit on if your stil leanin’ on me lik tha’.” Jean finally succeeded in fixing the necklace and let his arms fall around Eren.

Eren kissed Jean on the cheek. “Thanku.”

“Yur so gay when yur drunk,” Jean pointed out.

“Am ALWAYS gay!” Eren called out cheerfully like it was the greatest thing ever. Sometimes it was Jean thought; then for instance. 

The rain was merciful and let up shortly after allowing them to walk home hand in hand. Upon arrival though the quiet tranquility of the moment was broken by Eren bursting through the door to Moblit’s apartment yelling, “We are sexy pants!!”

Jean could do nothing besides fall to the floor laughing at the comment while Hanji scooped the smaller male into her arms. “Welcomhome you wonderful humin beings! And I think you mean yore the cutest pair a people in de whole widworld insteadofa pair of pants!” Eren nodded enthusiastically. “Guess it’s official then!” she cheered while squishing his cheeks together. Eren laughed. Nifa dragged Jean from the doorway to the couch where they collapsed to watch Goggles finish Rock You Like a Hurricane on Guitar Hero: Legends of Rock. Moblit passed out coffees a few minutes later. 

Jean remembered the rest of the night being uneventful as more of them fell asleep. Jean didn’t remember when he passed out, but in the morning he found himself in Moblit’s bed with Hanji’s arms wound around his middle. Disengaging the brown haired girl’s arms from him, he laughed lightly at her skewed glasses and snoring. He carefully pulled the glasses from her face and set them on the bedside table before meandering out into the living room where Keiji and Goggles were watching the news and Eren was curled up on the couch. Moblit and Nifa were still passed out in a bundle on the rug.

Jean stumbled over to the couch and sat on the floor in front of it letting his head nestle in Eren’s arms. Keiji draped a blanket over his shoulders a moment later. With a quiet thanks Jean pulled the cloth around himself and closed his eyes. Eren woke a short while later and busied himself with running his fingers through the lighter, slightly overgrown locks atop Jean’s head. Jean smiled into his chest.

The smell of pancakes permeated the room as Moblit and his five guests lazed around the kitchen a while later. The morning was bright and sunny, and a warm sweet smelling breeze mixed with the air in the kitchen making Eren yawn.

“I can’t believe you fell asleep on the kitchen counter,” Nifa mused to Goggles. They were recounting the events from last night, but stopped when Hanji tried to get Jean to talk about what happened at the concert with Eren to make them so happy.

“So what are you two going to do now?” Moblit looked at Eren and Jean.

“THEY ARE GOING TO GO ON A ROMANTIC HONEYMOON TO CELEBRATE JEAN’S COMING OUT!!” Hanji screamed from her cross-legged position on the countertop. Jean scowled in her direction. Eren’s laugher reached his ears and he slapped the back of the brunet’s head to get him to shut up. 

“Ugh, don’t freaking encourage her fuckwad,” Jean griped into his plate. He looked up at Moblit to answer his question. “I was thinking we should head out today. I don’t want to overstay our welcome.” 

“Any friend of Hanji’s is welcome for as long as they need, so don’t feel pressured to leave.” Moblit gave Jean a kind smile. “Goggles, Nifa, Keiji, and I are going to be going on stage again tonight so we’ll be at the concert again regardless of your decision.” The chestnut haired man then glanced over at Hanji. “Hanji needs to go home since she has class on Tuesday.”

Hanji pouted on the counter, shaking her bedhead wildly. “Such is the life of a med student. At least we get to dissect a brain on Tuesday,” she adds with a grin, eyes glinting over devilishly at the thought.

Keiji pushee his plate away. “Okay gross. I’m trying to eat here.”

“Keiji! Brain surgery is not gross!” Hanji protested. Keiji and Hanji launched into a playful argument about gross topics. Goggles excused himself for a shower and disappeared while Moblit collected the dishes.

Jean nudged Eren. “Let’s get going around two. I don’t want to leave late.”

“Ok.”

After breakfast with all of them showering there ended up being a wait. Hanji replied to that with a “Gays first!” to which Eren gave her the finger as he left for the bathroom.

Hanji glanced at Jean and tilted her head toward the bathroom. “I said gays as in plural.”

“Are you suggesting that I shower with him?” Jean asked bewildered.

“It wasn’t a suggestion. Go join him.” 

Jean flushed bright red. “Fuck that!” he said flustered.

“You want to fuck that.” She said devilishly with an eyebrow wiggle. Jean got up from the couch and walked out on the balcony.

Jean cringed has his back cracked in another of Hanji’s bone-crushing hugs. The six of them were standing out on the curb below Moblit’s apartment, ready to part ways. Releasing Jean, Hanji swiped Eren up into an equally terrifying hug, but unlike Jean, he returned the painfully strong hug to Hanji.

Hanji released Eren and held him at arm’s length. “Guess this is the last any of us’ll be seein’ you until you decide to come back.” Hanji looked like she was on the verge of tears. “Good luck, love. I hope you find what you are looking for out there and that everything turns out alright.”

Eren nodded. “Thanks so much Hanji.”

Hanji let him go and walked up to Jean. “You take care of this precious child.”

Eren protested angrily to being called a child, but Jean just laughed and said, “I will.” Eren punched him for agreeing with Hanji but the taller just pulled Eren up next to him with a strong arm holding the brunet in place.

“You two really are adorable,” she said. “Hey, you know, no matter how far you two go, you’ll always have someone back in Trost lookin’ out for ya, so call if you need anything. Ever.” Eren gave Hanji a second hug and Jean suddenly remembered how close they were, are, and how hard this probably is to say goodbye until who knows how long. Hanji sniffed and hid her face in the crook of Eren’s neck, but when she lifted her head her eyes were dry and she had her usual grin plastered on her face.

Moblit cut in then. “You two can also came back here if you’re ever in a tight spot. The band will love to have ya for practice if you’re around Jean.” Jean grinned at that.

“By the way, don’t worry your pretty little heads about back home. Levi will have to drag me to hell and back before I tell him where you two are!” Hanji added determinedly.

Eren smiled wide. “I love you Hanji. You really are the best.”

She laughed. “Guilty! I love you too Eren.”

They parted ways then. Hanji went off in Moblit’s direction with the band while Eren and Jean headed the opposite way on the sidewalk to reach their car. As they reached the park Jean noticed Eren’s quietness and slipped a hand into the brunet’s. Eren glanced up at Jean before smiling and walking a little closer. They passed by the concert again. The crowd that was there before had mostly dispersed, but there were still smaller bands playing in the hours before the festival would be closed down until next year.

Eren spotted Hanji at her car saying goodbye to Moblit as they drive away and honked. Hanji turned quickly and waved frantically in their direction. Jean waved back out the window as they turned the corner.


	10. The night we got drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Eren crash a party and Jean begins to question some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing I'm a humble fan.
> 
> HOLY WOW MY CHAPTERS ARE IN THE DOUBLE DIGITS
> 
> This was supposed to be short. I guess the chapters aren’t that long tho.  
> I’m the epitome of what as I write this chapter I’ve had way too much caffeine and am so jittery I cant lay still and its 3:47am and I got free food earlier.
> 
> As for the party, this is almost my exact expireince at a party I had in highschool, I was, very proudly the one who crashed the party and drove the car into the koi pond. I eluded the police and gave out condoms and towels to the remaining guests and only then did the owner of the house realize I wasn’t invited but still gave me a couch to sleep on and a warm cup of tea after all the booze. 
> 
> And now in my college years I spend my nights wrapped in blankets watching anime in my room with my friends over skype I love my life.
> 
> I really recommend listening to creepin up the backstairs it’s a great song.
> 
> Please Enjoy the chapter! (^･ω･^=)~

When you're creepin' up the backstairs  
Mother's nightmares  
Falling in the front door  
My my  
Climbing in the window  
Get dressed, let's go  
Take your brother's car keys  
Bye bye

Eren swung with the music, guitar in hand. Chords flew from his fingertips while Jean played along with Moblit’s bass. The percussion was improvised with plastic solo cups by two drunken idiots at the kitchen table, not that Eren and Jean were far off. Two hours ago Jean had almost beaten Eren with how much of a drunken ass he was being; not to mention the stolen electric that Jean WOULD BE RETURNING. Now, though, Jean was dancing along to their crappy rendition of Creepin Up The Backstairs by the band The Fratellis.

Jean belted off the quick lyrics in a scratchy drunken slur earning a loud catcall from a girl in daisy dukes and nothing else. Eren lept up on the kitchen table to stomp around in time with the solo cup players. Before the song could finish though, a loud crash and a blaring car alarm interrupted Jean’s words and scared Eren right off the table. The brunet laid on the floor for a moment, head throbbing, before a concerned Jean helped him up and dragged him toward the sound.

Exiting the house, the source of the noise became apparent. One of the drunken party guests had driven an ugly, gold colored oldsmobile into the koi pond. The crowd cheered the driver as she emerged from the front seat window and started pumping her fist while standing on the roof of the car.

The party had been a “we’ll crash it for a drink then leave” type deal, until Eren misplaced the keys. The following half hour switched between Jean looking for the keys and Eren slowly getting drunker. Eren returned to his two-toned haired companion with the keys, a stolen electric guitar, and about 6 beers in his system. Jean groaned and tried to find the owner of the guitar until Eren threw a fit the Jean got a new instrument and he didn’t. Jean gave up and joined in when he was pushed into the now car-filled koi pond. A six pack and two vodkas later, Jean was drunker than the guy on the roof.

“I’m going to regret this in the morning,” he had stated tossing back his third beer. Eren simply giggled beside him while working on his eighth beer. Jean had attempted to cut him off after that, but honestly by that point in the night things were already getting fuzzy memory-wise.

The party whirled around them and Jean remembered being up on the roof at one point. Eren would later recall being tied to the branch of a tree while people played strip poker on the table below and he was fed goldfish crackers. Jean stumbled into a room to see Eren kissing a guy in the tightest jeans he’d ever laid eyes on and a girl with blue hair and a feather boa in a game of Spin the Bottle. He stumbled up to the brunet and told him it was okay that he was a whore then the game evolved into Seven Minutes of Heaven. Eren woke later to a girl saying he had pretty eyes before a guy in a tshirt that said “I don’t wanna taco about it” carried her off to the hot tub. Jean woke in the hot tub in Eren’s arms a short while later and counted his seventh beer. 

The police arrived sometime around three in the morning and Eren pulled Jean across the yard where they stumbled over the fence into a neighbor’s garden. Hiding in the brush Eren muffled his giggles into Jean’s shoulder as he watched one of the guys smoking pot in the attic get shoved into the back of a police car wearing a lampshade. Jean stroked Eren’s still damp hair and the pair laid low in the shrubs until the police left figuring everyone they hadn’t caught had run off.

Jean and Eren emerged from the neighbor’s yard and crossed back over into the party’s territory right as the sprinklers came on. Eren hollered into the night dancing in the spray and Jean was taken aback at the brunet’s beauty with his brilliant and slightly sleepy eyes, dark skin shimmering from the light of the streetlights and fading bonfire, spinning and joyous, water trailing off his limbs like a dancer’s scarves. 

Eren noticed Jean’s pause and dragged him by the wrists into the falling water. Jean let out a cry at the temperature, but before long he was grinning as hard as Eren and dancing alongside him. Across the yard another couple that had been overlooked by the police called out that there were towels for them to use inside. 

Eventually traveling back inside the house that party had died down considerably to be replaced with something calmer and rather peaceful despite the trashed house. The heavy drinkers and party animals were long gone leaving the owner of the house and those crafty or lucky enough to avoid the police. Aside from the couples up in the bedrooms the party was centered in the living room where the thirteen remaining guests passed around a hookah while Afraid by The Neighborhood played softly in the background. The girl from the lawn offered Eren and Jean some beach towels and sat them down in the group.

The smoke put Eren right to sleep where Jean had the chance to tuck the brunet in his lap and savor the warmth of his skin, although still damp. The party dispersed between people leaving, sleeping, or lounging in the kitchen with coffee. Eren woke with sleepy mumbles about Jean’s appearance and noted their positions. Not hesitating to lift himself using the arm of the couch and pressing his lips to Jean’s. Jean kissed back in the calm not caring who saw.

It tasted like stale beer and Jean couldn’t tell which way was up, but he still found himself melting into this kiss, his embrace. Maybe he was just drunk. Maybe he was just crazy. Right then it didn’t matter. Jean sort of forgot what happened after that.

When Eren was next made aware, it’s from Jean’s phone buzzing quietly on the rug next to them. The light from the bulb above the mirror was fairly dim, but Eren still groaned when it cast across his vision. He turned over and snuggled into the body he was laying on. It was warm and comfortable and Eren was soon dosing again. The other person groaned at his change in position.

The brunet shifted again and cracked open bleary eyes. His head throbbed horribly from the small action and the large amount of light that bored into his pupils. He snapped his eyes back shut to rest until his body stopped shaking so horribly.

Eren let his eyes open again, knowing the consequence of not being careful and peered around the room; mildly confused when he finds they are curled up on the rug on the bathroom floor of one of the bedrooms. Before he could investigate further though, nausea made his stomach churn and head spin and he darted over to the toilet. In the end, he didn’t throw up and just sort of lied on the floor in a heap. Jean rolled over and lifted his head.

“You okay?” he said with a hint of concern in his voice. Eren didn’t blame his worry with how much they both drank.

“Peachy,” Eren grated with a weak thumbs up.

Jean crawled over to the brunet and hugged him gently, drawing Eren into his chest. The warmth felt like a blessing and the slow circles on his back soothing to both his mind and his stomach. Eren dozed in Jeans arms for a while.

Eren tried to piece together the night in his semi-conscious state of mind but the effort just made his head hurt. “Did we have sex last night?” Eren murmured after a while. Jean gave a huff and he may have been laughing or just appalled at Eren’s blunt question.

“No.” 

Eren nodded into Jean’s chest and stifled a yawn. “Wanna have sex now?” he asked.

Jean just stared at Eren with his eyebrows knitted together. “Are you being serious right now?” he asked incredulously. Eren just chuckled and nodded. Eren’s response didn’t really answer his question so Jean punched him lightly. Eren returned the gesture before nuzzling back into Jean’s arms. He looked trashed and his voice sounded like someone took his vocal chords to a cheese grater. Jean felt awful too, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he didn’t drink as much as Eren. His voice wasn’t gone at least.

Jean started shifting when his limbs fell asleep. “Hey, can we move to the bed or at least the carpet? Sitting on the tile floor is making my ass hurt.”

“I know something good that will make your ass hurt,” Eren said in the most seductive tone he could manage with his trashed voice.

“Oh my god stop.” Jean covered his face with his hand and stood.

Eren chuckled. “Sorry.” Jean then helped him up and they wobbled into the bedroom, Jean leading Eren by the shoulders. Jean noticed Eren still wore the necklace from the festival even though he retired his own a few days ago. Eren usually wasn’t one for jewelry, though he did wear his house key for the entirety of high school since he got himself locked out of the house so much. 

“You still have your necklace?” Jean pointed out.

Eren absentmindedly ran his fingers over the glass bead. “Yeah. You picked it up for me and tied it on, so it seems more important to me than just something I got at a festival. And Hanji was there for me too.” Eren blushed. “I’m having trouble putting it into words.”

Jean blushed alongside the brunet. “I think I understand.”

The room was empty and locked so Jean figured they locked themselves in, but they must have been really fucking hammered to have fallen asleep on the bathroom floor instead of the bed. Jean pushed Eren down on the bed and flopped down alongside him, feet touching the floor still.

Eren shifted until he faced his companion. “I like this. Traveling with you.”

“Sap,” Jean teased. 

Eren smiled and watched Jean through exhausted half-lidded eyes. “It just seemed important to say.” Jean hummed in agreement and dipped his head to rest against Eren’s. “Hey.” Jean lifted his head. “Makeout with me?” Eren suggested quietly. Jean nodded and Eren pressed his lips to Jean’s.

A long while later Eren was on top of Jean. Soft moans and breaths, the occasional shift of sheets, cut through the silence every so often. Jean was shirtless and Eren laughed lightly into the Jean’s hickey mapped neck; though Jean couldn’t see anything funny about the situation. Eren’s fingers tangled in Jean’s overgrown undercut and Jean let his fingers explore the skin just under the hem of Eren’s shirt. Eren lifted his head up and Jean pressed their mouths together once more, tongues dancing. 

Jean woke again, but this time to warmth. Eren was still laying on top of him, though sometime earlier he ditched his shirt too. The covers were pulled up and Eren’s hair brushed through his sideburn and across his left ear. The brunet breathed easily and calmly against the side of his neck and it made him shiver slightly.

Jean suddenly wondered what he did to get so lucky. Or maybe where Eren went wrong. Jean sighed and brought a hand up to stroke Eren’s hair. The brunet stirred and nuzzled into Jean’s collarbone but didn’t wake. Jean let his mind wander.

Though they’ve been having fun over the last few days, Jean couldn’t help but think of why they were out there in the first place. Eren had done something to make him run. Not to mention the fact he was over here kissing Jean which meant he was having some issue with Levi. Eren hadn’t spoken about it, but he had been worried enough to avoid Jean when he suspected Jean not wanting to hang around him anymore. Jean ran his thumb along Eren’s cheek.

“I’m here for you you fucking bastard. Just talk to me,” Jean muttered to sleeping Eren. “I won’t leave you. What made you so scared of what other people think anyways? The Eren I know doesn’t run from anything.” Jean received no response. Eren slept soundly and Jean decided to follow Eren’s lead and sleep off some of his hangover. 

Jean and Eren slept soundly in the room until the owner came up looking for anyone left at the party. They didn’t leave before getting recruited for the cleanup crew and were put in charge of getting all the shit off the roof. It was a beautiful day and the sun beat down heavily. Eren was looking forward to hitting the road again. 

The owner let them go after they finished with the roof and the kitchen and Eren returned the guitar by Jean’s scolding. They were parked a few blocks away since they didn’t want the car to get towed or anything. The roof of the rusty pickup was in view when Eren stopped. He tugged on Jean’s sleeve.

“Hey Jean. We’ve kissed quite a few times since the first night of the concert, and that makes me really happy, but I was wanting one that wasn’t to make me feel better, or started by Hanji, or done when we were way drunk or stoned.” Eren stared up at Jean with those green eyes. Jean felt his cheeks heat up. “Can that happen one day? Up til now you’ve only kissed me while we were hammered or some shit. I know you probably don’t feel as strongly for me but…I really…” Eren paused. “I don’t hate you.”

“What the hell?” Jean tried to cover up his embarrassment. “What kind of shit confession is that?!”

“Hey! You can’t-“ Eren stammered before he was cut off. Jean closed the distance and pressed their lips together. Eren froze but relaxed quickly.

Jean pulled away a little too fast once Eren relaxed and stammered out a quick, “Um, I don’t hate you too.” Eren then smiled, realizing Jean was just nervous. 

“Not like that stupid.” He then brought Jean’s face to his own pulling on his collar. It was chaste, no tongue, just their lips pressed together sweetly. The area was empty save for them so nothing was left to interrupt them. Birds chirped in the trees surrounding the street corner and Eren smiled into the kiss at the peacefulness. He let his arms drop as he pulled away. They began walking again, pressed up against each other with one of Jean’s arms still wound around Eren’s middle.

Eren glanced around and sighed contentedly. “I wish I had one of those really nice cameras with the detachable lenses. We pass through so many beautiful places and meet a lot of wonderful people and I don’t have a way to preserve any of it. No one will understand what it was like being out here with you.”

Jean smiled. “It’s strange to think we are really only about a day and a half away from home if we drove straight through. We left over two weeks ago.”

Eren leaned into Jean more, relishing the feel of being close. “Yeah, but if we had rushed we probably wouldn’t be having this much fun or be this close.” 

“True.” 

Arriving at the car Jean released Eren and slipped into the driver’s seat. They began driving away and Eren hooked up Jean’s ipod. They left town listening to Slow Cheetah by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

“Hey Eren?” Jean caught his attention a while down the road. Eren sat back down in his seat and pulled his pants back up.

“Yeah?” Eren asked like he hadn’t just been flashing the passerby on the road and sidewalks.

“First, what the hell are you doing?”

“Mooning the public!” he replied. 

Jean rolled his eyes. “Obviously, but why?”

Eren shrugged. “Cuz its fun.” Just as he said that he passed a group of people on the sidewalk. “HEY WE’LL BE BACK TO PICK YOU UP LATER!!” He called out of the open window. “Messing with people on the sidewalks is a classic pastime from high school.” As he said it Eren watched out the back window at the confused expressions of the various females in the group.

“Alright then,” Jean said with a chuckle. “Second. Does all this mean I’m not straight anymore?”

Eren glanced over at Jean. “Well, I hope you’re having a sexuality crisis instead of just teasing me.”

“I’m not teasing you.” Jean said it meekly because for the first time ever, he actually was beginning to question his mantra of saying he was always straight.

Eren patted Jean on the shoulder. “I guess this means you are a gay man! Welcome to the cult!” Jean nodded. Maybe he should have expected questioning everything after leaving home with Eren Jeager, but to Jean it still felt a bit like a slap in the face. He glanced back at Eren who had resumed sticking his bare ass out the window.

Jean’s only thought was: I cannot believe I’m falling for this idiot.


	11. The night your ex left (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi spends another night trying to forget.
> 
> More Hanji.
> 
> My chapter summaries SUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyooo another muti part chapter! this one seems really short, but making it longer seemed unnecessary since there's more to the chapter.
> 
> Next part will be up by Sunday. hopefully i'll find time to write. 눈_눈 
> 
> The sections in this chapter are in Levi's point of view so you guys will ACTUALLY begin to learn what the hell is going on.  
> (Mikasa is in the next part yay!)
> 
> Hanji is asexual. I really love her character and it seemed fitting in this story.bless.
> 
> my only fear about writing Levi is that i feel is thought process may be OOC. I may be just paranoid but he's such a fucking complex character. As is Eren but i think im doing alright with Eren. I hope.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! ( °-°)/

“LEEEEEVIIIIIIIIII!!!!”

Levi cringed as Hanji’s shrill screech echoed across the house. He lifted his head from the pillow and scowled at his bedroom door before flopping back into the mass of blankets. Thundering footsteps echoed throughout the house as she approached.

Levi sighed. “Three…two…one…”

“HELLO POOP JOKE TELLING, CLEAN FREAK, MURDEROUS, LOVE OF MY FUCKING LIFE!!!” Hanji burst through the door with a scream and leapt onto the bed. Levi didn’t anticipate the second part and let out a yell as Hanji’s body fell through the air and enveloped him in a body slam/hug.

There was a moment of shock before Levi shoved Hanji’s face away. “Get the fuck off shitty glasses.”

“Your grumpy this morning,” Hanji pouted and settled for just having her arms around his waist as she laid in his lap. “Are you wearing anything under the blankets?”

“No,” he deadpanned.

“Should I take my clothes off too?” Hanji asked.

Levi stared at her incredulously. “And why the fuck would you do that?”

“I feel overdressed now.”

Levi tipped his head back and put a hand over his mouth. Hanji could see the slight shake in his shoulders signaling that he was holding back laughter. She grinned. Levi recovered after a moment and looked down at her. “I guess life’s a little dull without you.”

“I missed you too, Levi!” she beamed before jumping up to go occupy his living room. “Come downstairs when you are ready! Class is over for the day so we’re gonna go party!” Hanji called as she descended the steps.

“Over pretty early isn’t it?!” Levi called back. He slipped out of bed and padded over to his closet where he started shifting through the clothing.

“One of the freshmen accidentally started a fire with a Bunsen burner in the lab next door and the fire department came and it was crazy!” Levi rolled his eyes. Chaos like that shouldn’t be such a normal occurrence in someone’s life, but Hanji came over with a new story every other day. “So class is canceled until the labs are fixed!”

Levi slipped on a pair of boxers and black skinny jeans and pulled an old Motley Crew t-shirt from the hanger. Levi had to admit he liked his t-shirts since the shorter sleeves showed off the tattoo that ran the length of his right bicep. He descended the stairs a few minutes later ready, save for the fact that he hadn’t eaten. He glanced at Hanji sprawled out on the couch and his eyebrows shot up.

“What exactly are you wearing?” he hadn’t noticed in the dark bedroom, but it looked as though she’d broken into Nanaba’s wardrobe before she came over. She wore a fetching suit coat over a mint green crew neck with some slightly loose skinny blue jeans rolled up just past her ankles. To finish off the look her hair was braided to one side over her right shoulder and she wore a pair of coral Keds. “You actually look sort of hot.”

“Nanaba has awesome lesbian clothing,” Hanji concluded. Levi was right on his guess then.

Levi snorted. “I suppose, but she’s not a lesbian and neither are you.”

Hanji rolled over. “I’m not opposed to dating women.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “That’s not really the point because you wouldn’t fuck them.”

“I wouldn’t fuck anyone.” Hanji was an asexual. Levi had been unfamiliar to the term until Eren and all his weird, new age friends came around, but with how much he and Eren fucked, this idea that someone lacked the urge to have sex or found no one sexually appealing was still a bit strange to him.

“Well, whatever. Have you eaten?” Hanji nodded her head. “Then I’ll be just a minute. Levi slipped on his black biker boots and grabbed his studded jacket from the closet. He pulled some left over fried rice from the fridge and dug in as he returned to the living room.

“Hey I got you a thing,” Hanji said. She handed him a black studded bracelet.

“Thanks. Where’d you get this?” Levi asked around a mouthful of food.

“Nifa gave it to me, but it looked better with your outfit than mine.”

Levi looked at the large spiked bracelet. Yes that was definitely Nifa’s style. “I’ll give it back to you later.”

They left the house and met up with Erwin, Mike, and Nanaba at the club. Entering, Levi felt the smoke and heat in the space and his shoulders relaxed. Yes, clubbing, a very bad but still effective way of getting his mind off certain people. 

Levi drove his car across his lawn at four am.

“Shit. I told you I could drive us home.” Levi wavered as he stood from the driver’s seat and stepped into the driveway. He remained upright and fumbled with his keys.

Erwin’s eyes were wide and his hands had snaked around Hanji’s arm sometime during the both terrifying and very illegal ride home. “Levi, you are lucky we aren’t dead or in prison right now,” Erwin stated in a panicked voice. Hanji laughed loudly.

“Is too bad Nana and Mikey missed tha,” Hanji said letting her head lull onto Erwin’s shoulder. “But I bet they are fucking each otha stupid on yer couch by now.” 

Erwin sighed. “I guess that’s what I get for having a roommate in a long time relationship.”

“Erwinnnnn! Carryyy meeee!” Hanji pleaded when the tall blonde stepped out of the car. He laughed and hoisted her over his shoulder with a yelp. She settled down into giggles as Erwin ascended the front steps.

“Friggg. Which key is it?” Levi jammed a key into the lock at random and the handle clicked. He would have fallen forward onto the rug had Erwin not swooped an arm down to catch the raven haired. “Merci.”

“You are super drunk,” Erwin observed. He dragged the pair up to Levi’s room and dumped them on the bed. They were already passed out by the time he removed their shoes and left two glasses of water on the bedside table. The tall blonde walked out of Levi’s room and went down into the front yard to park the car in the driveway instead of in one of the neighbor’s flower beds.

Finishing his task Erwin locked the door behind him and walked to the spare bedroom to get a few hours’ sleep. Flicking the switch on the wall, light flooded Eren’s old room. It made a good spare room since Eren had rarely used it, sleeping in Levi’s bed instead, but although Levi had begun calling it the spare room, the raven haired hadn’t the heart to enter the room and remove Eren’s belongings. Erwin prepared for sleep and let the tiredness take over. 

Levi woke partially to the smell of bacon, but in his half-conscious state he knew he’d regret it if he opened his eyes. Though without open eyes, one could not have foreseen the attack from his wild sleeping partner.

Hanji woke fully when Levi quite literally kicked her onto the floor after she rolled over and smacked him right in the face with the back of her hand. Hanji groaned from the floor.

“Owieee,” she complained.

“Get the fuck over it,” Levi griped. He was mad at being disturbed but didn’t protest when Hanji climbed back under the covers. She hugged his waist and pressed close in a comfortable warmth. They laid like that for a while falling into a doze.

“Are you okay Levi?” Hanji asked out of nowhere.

“Fuck yea, I feel like a million fucking dollars,” Levi grumbled.

The brunet girl paused and lifted her head. “No I mean. Are you okay?”

Levi sighed and threw and arm over his face in annoyance. “What the actual fuck are you going on about?” Hanji shifted again.

“I mean with Eren.”

Levi didn’t answer.

Hanji decided to press more. “He left really abruptly. Just wondering.”

Levi removed the arm from over his eyes and watched the ceiling. “I’m not okay at all,” he admitted. “I work myself to death everyday unless I go out with one of you at which point I drink myself stupid. All so I don’t have to think about the fact that he’s gone.” Hanji was literally the only one whom he could open up to, besides Eren of course, but it always baffled him at the ease of which he could talk to her.

Hanji seemed both pleased that he answered honestly and sad that there really was an issue. “Did something happen?” Hanji knew by playing dumb she would be lying to one of her best friends, but after hearing what Eren had to say she was curious about Levi’s side of the story.

“Yeah it did.” Levi recalled the night before Eren disappeared. He cringed.

“Can it be fixed?” Hanji asked.

Levi rolled over to look out the window. It was an issue he didn’t really want to bring up, but at the same time he was glad for Hanji’s presence and care. “I said a lot that I shouldn’t have. And though I said exactly what I meant, I really wish he knew how much I want to take it all back.”

Hanji seemed to think this over for a moment. “I think you are running out of time to do that.”

“What makes you say that?” Levi furrowed his brows and glanced at her questioningly.

“Intuition,” she stated with a slight grin.

Levi groaned at her use of his signature excuse. “Fuck you Hanji.”

She laughed lightly, but after a moment her face fell and she looked him straight in the eye. “Seriously though.”

“I’ve looked everywhere. If he didn’t jump off a bridge he’s probably on the other side of the country. To apologize; there’s nothing I want to do more, but, as much as he screwed up something needed to be said. Either way, he’s probably gone for good.”

Hanji leaned over him, making sure she had his attention. “Even if things can’t be fixed…would you still want to see him again?”

“Of course. I love him,” Levi said. Even if they both screwed up and this couldn’t be fixed, Eren knowing that Levi still loved and cared for him seemed important. Hanji thought that he needed to hurry up and apologize, but if she knew anything she wasn’t going to say. “Hanji? You know something right?” If she was going to she already would have said it, that much Levi knew; it didn’t hurt to ask though.

“I know something, but I can’t tell you.” That’s just how it was sometimes. Then it dawned on Levi that she must have seen or talked to Eren while she was at Moblit’s. If it was important enough for Hanji to keep quiet then maybe he shouldn’t do anything, but on the other hand he might lose Eren forever if he let this chance slide.

Levi’s thoughts were cut short by Erwin appearing in the open door and asking if they wanted breakfast.


	12. The night your ex left (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi switches gears and tries to figure out where Eren would be.
> 
> A little bit of Mikasa and the other 104th kids make an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of this chapter.
> 
> I'm so late! Life is crazy! But on the bright side, I might get a really well paying job and be able to quit my other two! then I'll have more free time to spend (hopefully.) Going to the interview as soon as i update this actually.
> 
> I'm not gonna ramble on this time and i hope i still have some readers even though my updates are so inconsistent.  
> i also need to update tags.
> 
> Thanks much! and i hope you enjoy! (ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु

Mikasa descended the stairs whilst draping her trademark red scarf over her shoulders. Grabbing Jean’s car keys from the counter she stepped out the back door, locking it behind her. Jean’s old 1977 Porsche 924 sat in the driveway with a sleepy looking Armin perched on the hood. Spotting the raven-haired girl, Armin slid from the car and greeted Mikasa. Mikasa unlocked the doors and the pair slid into the front seats. As they drove away Armin sighed contentedly letting the humid summer dance through his hair with the windows rolled down.

“How can you wear that scarf in this heat?” he mumbled. Mikasa simply glanced sideways at the blonde.

The pair arrived a few minutes later at Sasha’s house. They let themselves in and strolled into the basement. Mikasa paused halfway down the stairs and waited; she knew what would be coming next and watched patiently for Armin to reach the bottom step and turn around the wall to the larger room. 

The moment he stepped out from behind the wall Sasha and Connie burst out from the other side of the wall effectively startling the blonde.

“AGH! SHIT!” Armin yelped as he leapt back into the wall clutching his chest. The pair fell to the ground cackling. “Please don’t do that guys,” Armin sighed as he calmed down.

Connie gasped on the ground, clutching his stomach. “Oh my god. I’ve never heard you swear before Armin!” Sasha giggled into the carpet. Armin glowered and stepped on Connie’s chest as he walked past. Connie made a choking noise as Armin’s weight set on him but still laughed lightly as he continued toward the den. Mikasa followed behind with a smirk set into her face. Sasha bounced up after the raven-haired and continued to munch on an open bag of chips.

Sasha’s den was a haven in her cool basement constructed of various furniture items collected off the side of roads, in thrift stores, and given away from all their families. Amongst the bean bags and old curbside Lazyboys, the crowning piece sat enveloping its plush cushions around those seated. It was a large new plush couch donated by Levi a few months before. He followed Eren to their hangout on one occasion and refused to let his boyfriend sit on “this atrocious used filth”. No one complained though because Eren picked them out the biggest, comfiest couch ever.

On the opposite wall hung a large flat screen that Sasha got as a graduation gift at her open house two years earlier. Connie donated his small box television that rested as a second gaming station on a small coffee table. Annie added her TV she had in her room and a popcorn machine she snagged at a garage sale once.

Jean one Christmas was sent to the store for, in Connie’s words, “ENOUGH LIGHTS TO REPLICATE THE SUN.” Though the bald man himself was surprised when Jean returned with almost exactly that many. Even after covering the tree and the entire shared house they still had several strings left over prompting Mikasa to take the remainder of the white lights and run a few strings across the den’s ceiling.

It was their hideout and to top it all off was the mini fridge that Sasha had stashed in the corner, filled to the brim with beer. Reiner had already opened his second and Ymir her third.

“I can’t believe you guys are drinking already,” Marco scolded. “It’s like 10:45 in the morning.” Reiner grinned and Krista took a small sip from her girlfriend’s beer before handing it back to a flustered Ymir.

“Ugh, you are an angel!” Ymir cried. “A BEAUTIFUL BEER DRINKING ANGEL!!” She then leaned over and pressed her lips to Krista’s temple.

Sasha flicked a chip at them. “Stop being gross guys, some of us are trying to eat.” Though she was smiling when she said it.

“Only you Sash,” Reiner teased.

Connie finally got off the floor and shuffled over to the coffee table on his knees, shoving everyone’s feet off the coffee table. “ALRIGHT! Down to business!” The group turned over their undivided attention. “As you all know, the SoulCaliber tournament is coming up. As are finals for classes. Not all of you can participate because of this, but I have called you all here today to ask for your gaming prowess.”

“I know it sucks to bring it up, but our team is in shambles because Eren, our best player, disappeared and Jean our replacement is gone too. So if anyone wants to fill their spots, I’m gonna have you play a round with me, Krista, and Bertolt to see if you will survive in the tournament.”

“The dates of the thing is the weekend before finals; that Friday and Saturday. So if you can’t do it we get it. But if you say you can do it please don’t flake. We’ve been working super hard for this and would rather not get disqualified for missing a teammate.” Connie finished.

The group knew the best gamers were Krista, Connie, and Eren. Bertolt was the type of player who got good from playing SoulCaliber at Sasha’s house while Jean was a decent gamer who just preferred other genres. Aside from that though, no one’s talents really stood out.

Ymir was the first to pick up the fourth controller.

Hours later Connie found himself disappointed in everyone’s attempts. Mikasa had been the best, but when Connie had pulled a particularly well timed combo winning him the match, Sasha had had to look for a picture to conceal the new hole the raven-haired had put in the drywall.

Connie had laid on the floor in defeat. Armin patted his back awkwardly. Reiner suggested they quit and enter a Guitar Hero tournament; his response was in the form of muffled screaming into the floor. He shrugged and set up the Wii with Guitar Hero 3. 

A little while into One by Metallica the doorbell rang. Sasha ran up to get the door and returned a moment later with a disgruntled looking Levi in tow.

“Look who I found,” she chirped before plopping back into her beanbag chair.

Connie whipped his head up. “Levi! Are you any good at SoulCaliber?!” 

“Eren beat me every time we played,” Levi offered as answer.

“He was our best player that means nothing.”

Levi scowled. “I’m not playing in your fucking tournament.” Connie laid back down defeated. Levi sighed. “Ask Mike. He’s not bad.” Connie’s last ray of hope.

Connie leapt up from the floor. “Comon Bert! We gotta go test him!” Bertolt gave a quiet affirmation and followed Connie up the stairs.

Levi turned to Mikasa. “Can I talk to you?” Mikasa glanced at him and nodded. Levi then nodded to Marco. “You too.” The three black haired figures disappeared up the stairs. Levi led them into Sahsa’s living room. “Ok, I want to hear everything you two know about Eren and Kirschtien’s disappearance. I know when we initially had the police around they said you two were the last to hear from either of them.”

Mikasa raised an eyebrow. “Why be so worried about it now?”

Marco nodded. “No one’s really worried since they are together and are going to come back when they feel like it.”

“Hanji said something interesting and I think she’s seen them,” was all Levi offered as explanation.

Mikasa sighed. “Look I know you love Eren and are worried, but I don’t think forcing Eren to come back is going to do anything.”

Levi scratched at his undercut. “This might make you mad, but we fought the night before he left.” Mikasa’s eyes widened a fraction. “I think it’s the reason he left. He’s also very irrational when angry. It’s why he gets into fights all the time. You two know this. I guess I’m worried because no one’s heard a damn thing, and because Kirshstein can really rile his ass up.” 

Marco put a hand on Levi’s shoulder. “I doubt they are in danger or anything. They are both adults like the rest of us and can handle themselves.”

“I think he’s just worried that Eren’s moved on from him,” Mikasa mumbled spitefully.

Levi scowled at her. “Watch it shitty brat!” Mikasa rolled her eyes and settled into the couch. Levi sighed. “Look. I know you don’t always like me, but I really love your brother and would fucking appreciate it if you two cooperated just this once.”

Marco sat down next to Mikasa and set his head in his hands. “I don’t have a lot to share. I have just a few brief texts from Jean about a day or so after they left and have heard from him pretty sparingly since. Usually it’s just updates like ‘We’re fine’ every few days. I heard a car the night they disappeared but I figured someone was turning around in our driveway and went back to sleep. I didn’t hear Jean or Eren moving around or leaving. I just noticed he was gone when I went to get him out of bed for class.”

Mikasa cut in. “It wans’t Jean’s idea anyways so knowing that isn’t going to help you at all.” Levi huffed. “And you already know what happened with me. I got one text from Eren asking if the door was unlocked that I didn’t see until the next morning and I got Jean’s note that said they were leaving which also held his car keys.”

“I don’t really need to know shit from when they left. You two are close with them, isn’t there any place you could picture them going?” Levi asked.

Mikasa narrowed her eyes. “What exactly are you going to do with this information?”

“I don’t know yet,” Levi admitted.

Marco shrugged. “I don’t have any clues. Jean once said he wanted to go to Vegas, but I wouldn’t put much stock in that.” Mikasa said something along the same lines.

“Guess its back to questioning Four-eyes then.” Levi turned and began walking toward the door. “Thanks.”

Marco returned downstairs with Mikasa close behind, though even after he disappeared she lingered in the doorway. “Hey, shorty.” Levi glanced up with another scowl as if to say What the Fuck Mikasa. “Armin would know more about it, but Eren always loved the ocean. Ask him about it later.” Without another word she disappeared into the basement.

Levi sat in his car for a moment before pulling out and returning home. Hanji was still passed out on his couch when he walked in the door. He walked over to her and plopped down on her feet. His eyebrows knitted together when he saw her mess. It looked like she emptied all the crap from her pockets and wallet on his table.

“What the actual fuck Hanji.” He reached and began smoothing out her receipts and picking all the loose change out of the lint so he could clean it up. He paused as Hanji’s phone began ringing. The screen lit up with a text notification, he didn’t think anything of it until he noted her background behind the text notification.

He unlocked the phone and gave the photograph a once over. Hanji had her arm slung around a ratty looking Eren with a lake in the background and the words “GET YO ASSES OVAH HERE!” written in the sand. Hanji was wearing Moblit’s most recent band shirt, the one she received in the mail just before leaving for the concert festival.

Eren had been in Kanerase with Hanji just two days ago. Levi looked sideways at Hanji’s sleeping form before standing and going upstairs. He couldn’t tell whether to feel relieved or betrayed…


	13. The night your ex left (part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi leaves for Moblit's place and gets into a stress induced argument with Hanji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i've been very erratic about posting and don't want to make any promises about adding new chapters but things are fairly calm and i think i'm over my writers block.
> 
> I'm always so worried about making characters out of character and every once in a while i write a line that makes total sense in the context of my story but i can't picture the character saying it ever in canonverse. Like Levi totally doesn't hate Jean in AoT but in here it's only natural for him to have a little bit of a vendetta against him due to jealousy.
> 
> I guess i'll just worry about trying to finish this story. I'd say it's about half over now so things are going to start getting more angsty and fluffy at the same time.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

Hanji jolted awake when she heard a car door slam. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and readjusted her glasses her hand fumbling around on the table until she found her cellphone. The screen lit up bright and the florescent numbers read just after ten at night. Hanji yawned and slumped back into the couch while undoing her braid and pulling it up into her trademark messy ponytail.

The front door opened quietly, though Hanji was now alert enough to hear it. She got up from the couch and stumbled around the corner into the shadowy front hallway. Levi stood frozen like a kid caught in the act of stealing candy when he noticed the brunette.

“Where are you going?” she asked sleepily.

His shoulders relaxed. “I was going to find Eren. I didn’t wanna wake you up.”

Hanji walked up and hugged him, effectively smooshing Levi’s face into her boobs. “You’re weren’t gonna leave like Eren were you?”

Levi wiggled around in her relentless grasp until he could at least stand up straight enough to rest his chin on her shoulder. He sighed. “No I wasn’t going to leave the way Eren did. I told Erwin and Mike after I talked with Armin and Moblit earlier. Even took time off work like that dumbass didn’t do.”

“Then why were you sneaking around just now?”

“Because you were hungover as shit you moron.” Hanji finally let go and Levi stepped back with a glare.

“Oh.”

Levi crossed his arms. “Yeah. Oh.”

Hanji laughed. “Sure you’re the one who doesn’t need a nap, Mr. grouchy-cravat?” She poked the fabric around his neck. Classic Levi outfit: white shirt, black pants, cravat, one of Hanji’s own jackets, and dress shoes. “You look like you’re going to work.”

Levi glanced away. “I may be a bit behind on laundry.”

Hanji burst into laughter because an unclean Levi could only be a joke. “You really are a mess without Eren.” Levi rolled his eyes and retrieved a suitcase from the dining room table. “You could at least wait til morning to go. You’ve even got a bed buddy tonight!” Hanji reasoned motioning to herself.

Levi sighed. “The longer I wait, the farther Eren will be from Kanerase. Waiting for sleep I don’t need may ruin my chance at finding him. This is the only lead I have.”

Hanji paused; heart hammering in her chest. “How did you find out where he was exactly?” she asked slightly nervously.

“Your phone’s background,” Levi deadpanned. “Stupid move on your part since I know you were keeping it a secret for some reason.” Hanji visibly slumped at his scolding. Not only did she unsuccessfully keep Eren’s whereabouts a secret, but she also hurt Levi in the process by lying to him.

“I’m sorry Levi,” she whispered.

“I’m not mad Hanji…” Levi paused. “Well…actually I’m seething, but I figured Eren asked you to keep quiet.” It was reassuring but did nothing to make the ache in Hanji’s chest go away. Levi continued. “Look, don’t worry about it shitty glasses. Things are kind of fucked up for everyone right now. Two people who are important to a lot of us are gone and most of us haven’t gotten over it.”

Hanji recalled what Eren confessed to her by the lake. She sniffled. “I want Eren to trust us again. What you said really hurt him. He and Jean got into a fight during the festival and it was because of the things you said to him.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “They always fight. Like I don’t think I can picture that two-toned undercut moron doing anything else besides yelling at my boyfriend.”

“Jean is not a moron and you know that. You’re just jealous! Also…you can’t call Eren that anymore,” Hanji pointed out.

“I know. That’s why I have to go.”

Hanji stopped Levi before he could leave slamming the front door shut. “Eren was actually afraid to express what he was feeling toward Jean! And he was afraid to talk to me on the off chance that I’d tell you!” Levi’s eyes widened. “I know you want to fix things, but you don’t even realize how much you hurt him.”

Levi lightly moved her to the side and opened the door again. “I regret what I said, but I don’t regret saying it in a way. He really did screw up.”

Hanji quickly followed him out into the cool night air. He was already down on the grass. “Two wrongs don’t make a right Levi.”

“I KNOW THAT’S WHY I’M TRYING TO FIX IT!” Levi snapped. He whirled around and Hanji cringed at the outburst. Levi calmed and rubbed his thumb and forefinger across his eyebrows and temples. “Look. This needs to be fixed. No matter the outcome, whether he hates me in the end or comes running back into my arms, I need to make sure he understands I only wanted what was best for him and that even if he can’t count on me there’s others who are there. I need to apologize, I need to know he’s okay. People don’t just run off like that because of a fight with their boyfriend. Everyone in this entire situation is feeling betrayed and on edge and we’re all really fucking confused. I know there’s at least one mix up going on here.”

Hanji sniffed again from her position on the doorstep. “Why did you two fight in the first place?”

“Eren was going to ruin his life over something stupid. I didn’t want that to happen and went overboard. I can’t say for sure what was going through his head after the fight, but I imagine he felt wronged or robbed. Like all this shit had already gone wrong for him and he then feels like he can’t trust me anymore. It seems logical enough.”

“I think you’re more spot on than you realize,” Hanji murmured with a slight smile. 

“I guess I do know him well then. Of course you remember when I tried to find him right around when he left; I obviously care, but if he doesn’t want to see me anymore, then there’s only so much I can do. I can’t find him without some sign of where he is. I can’t talk to him unless he turns on his phone. I can’t apologize until he’s willing to look me in the eye again. Otherwise this will mean nothing, but nothing will change unless I try.”

Levi finished talking and finally closed the distance between him and his old black Audi A6. He opened the door and strapped himself in behind the steering wheel finally ready to hunt Eren down. It had taken a while, but something was bound to change while he was out there.

Hanji walked up to the door before he backed out of the driveway and Levi lowered the window. Hanji slipped into the gap and hugged her raven-haired friend. “We’re all just a bunch of dummies aren’t we?” she mumbled into his shoulder. 

Levi smirked. “Biggest bunch of dumbasses ever. Minus our friends from school. Fucking Nile and Oluo.” Hanji pulled away and Levi began backing up again. He stopped at the end of the driveway and stuck his head out the window. “Hanji, don’t wreck my house like last time okay? Spare key is jammed in the crack between the bottom of the wooden deck railing and the side of the house.”

“Sure you don’t want me to come with and translate all your social constipation?” Hanji asked jokingly. Levi gave her the middle finger and drove off.

Hanji sighed and walked back inside closing and locking the door behind her. Instead of settling back into the couch she walked upstairs and faceplanted into Levi’s bed. She stripped Nanaba’s jacket off and thought about whether she would make things worse or better by texting Eren until she fell asleep.

Levi sped down the highway. It was late and fewer cars lined the streets making it easy for Levi to keep a faster constant speed. The raven-haired drove through the night, emerging from a coffee shop with dark circles below his eyes the next morning. It was still about two hours of driving from his location, but after arriving at Moblit’s he could at least feel like he got somewhere closer to tracking down Eren.

Levi dropped back into the driver’s seat and sipped his scalding tea in an attempt to wake himself up. He buckled up and pulled out on to the street again. Driving through the small city back towards the highway Levi began to think about the prospects of actually finding Eren after close to three weeks of him being missing. The thought made his heart flutter but also ache, the effect seemed greater from the lack of sleep. He sighed and for the first time in a while, allowed himself to think about what Eren might be doing at that moment.


	14. The day when everything began to change for good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to go past the point of no return on both Eren and Levi's trips. Moblit sums up the situation better than I ever could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello <3
> 
> Things are gettin real! and I actually pumped out a new chapter in a reasonable amount of days. Now that we are back in adorable territory involving Eren and Jean instead of angst that i hadn't planned out. *sighs* I unintentionally created a love triangle I CAN T EVEN *rolls on the floor*
> 
> I have gotten several comments (yay) and it seems like i've created a Team Jean and Team Levi, my my. 
> 
> I have also basically cut out the proofreading portion of the writing process. SO if there are any errors that i skipped over i apologize.
> 
> I'm just happy you all are enjoying the story. Thank your for reading up to this point! ( ˘ ³˘) ～♥”

After the concert, party, and kissing Eren fully aware and by his own will, Jean figured the realization that he was at least a little gay would come as a bigger shock, but honestly, he felt fine. And honestly, he would still choose to fuck Mikasa over any guy given the option. Not that he was complaining with Eren; dude was beautiful. He wondered if he and Eren were going to be a thing now. No. Eren had Levi to go back to. And would Connie and Marco treat him different if they found out he liked Eren on this trip? Jean sure hoped not. Yeah, he was totally not overthinking this. Yeah…He was fine…

Or maybe he was so fucking confused about what to do next that he’d been creeping Eren out a little more every passing minute. It started in the late morning after they left the party when Jean nonchalantly bought Eren a real, warm, cooked breakfast. The brunet had been happy about it and let the nice gesture be, but he found it a bit odd when Jean started being super nice all day. 

Eren hadn’t wanted to drive since both were still pretty badly hungover and decided to spend the day in town goofing off, but he was finding it a bit difficult to have fun with Jean acting so strange. Jean was crossing the line from being kind of sweet to a fucking lunatic in like .03 seconds every so often. Eren didn’t know that line could possibly be so thin. Jean continued to surprise him though from holding doors open to a slightly more obvious act of full on shoving Eren out of the way of a mud puddle and straight onto his butt in the middle of the sidewalk. 

Eren pulled Jean aside after that little stunt. They stopped in a park and Eren sat Jean down on a bench. “Ok what is your deal? Did one hungover kiss with me change your entire view of the world or some shit? Cuz, jeez that fucking hurt!” Eren wasn’t angry at Jean, he was just in desperate need of some sort of explanation. 

Jean looked at the ground, blushing in embarrassment. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I know I’ve been acting weird. I just…” He looked sheepish. “I guess I’m confused. Like I guess we both know I’m gay, but what does that entail? Should I treat you differently? I mean I always was nicer to girls, but should I make it reverse now? And is anything different between us? Cuz I know you have Levi. And—” Eren cut him off before he could say more.

The brunet looked like he was going to say something serious but before he could speak, he just sort of broke down into a giggling fit. Jean watched, a bit mortified at his reaction. Eren held a hand up as he tried to catch his breath. “Oh my god Jean, you are WAAAY overthinking this. Calm down,” he said with laughter still in his voice.

Jean crossed his arms leaned back, still embarrassed as Eren continued, his voice a bit more serious this time. “Jean, you don’t need to act any different. Being gay is the same as being straight. You just have different preferences. It’s like if you prefer salty food over sugary shit. You can’t change it but is it really a big deal if you like pretzels better than a cupcake. ”

“Really?” Jean couldn’t believe it.

“Truly.” Eren reassured him. “It’s no different than liking girls, and if you liked them once you probably still do. Being bi is a thing. You just happen to think guys are attractive and cool as well. And as for me and Levi, don’t worry about it. I know what I’m getting into when something like that goes down.”

Jean fidgeted. Eren looked at him knowingly and gave him the go to continue asking questions. Jean breathed out. “So, like will people back home treat me differently?

Eren thought about it for a moment. “Probably not, Jean is Jean no matter whether he likes girls, guys, or anything really. Connie might not let you live it down though.” Eren finished with a twisted grin. 

Eren continued. “But even Connie will still be your friend. No one we know is gonna reject you because of your sexuality. I mean look at the company we keep. Kris and Ymir, me and Levi, stoners and criminals alike, we were all underage drinkers for years, we keep Sasha and her bottomless stomach, Reiner and his shit taste in music.” Eren laughed at how ridiculous they all were. “Everyone is still gonna love you.”

Jean honestly hated himself for not talking sooner. He felt so much better. “I just have one more question.”

Eren nodded. “Shoot.”

“Are things gonna be different between us?” Jean asked a little unsurely.

Eren didn’t have a sure answer for that one. “I don’t think they have to be, but that doesn’t mean things can’t be different.” 

Jean gave him a bemused glare. “Stop talking in fucking code.”

Eren sighed. “I’m saying I wouldn’t mind what happened this morning to happen again.” Jean blushed and Eren smiled. “We can stay friends like we have since the first kiss, or try going on a date, or just fuck around on occasion.” He decided to continue, feeling brave just like he had this morning. “I don’t really care if you wanna change or not, I just really like being around you.”

Jean blushed harder. “Yeah, me too.” He toed at the grass. “But, aren’t you and Levi…” He trailed off.

“I told you already not to worry about that.” Eren reminded him. “Don’t think that this means I’m unfaithful or any shit either. Cuz I’m not. It’s just another thing I don’t really wanna talk about…”

Jean sighed. “Alright, if that’s the case…” He cleared his throat and mumbled something into his lap.

Eren cocked an eyebrow. “Come again?”

Jean said something along the lines of understandable words this time. “Eren, d’ you wanna go out sometime?” he asked, partially behind his hand.

“I didn’t quite catch that,” Eren said with a grin. The little prick had obviously heard that time. 

Jean swore then stood up from the bench abruptly. “Fine! This is really stupid, but Eren, you are the funnest, sexiest, most stupid person I’ve ever met in my stupid life so I want you to go out on a stupid date with me!!” He ended up saying that way louder than he had anticipated and caught the attention of several people in the park.

Eren was grinning. “I’d love to go on a stupid date with you.”

Jean hid his face in his hands and was redder than he ever thought he could be, but he was grinning like an idiot. When he lifted his head a few passing people gave him some thumbs up. Eren was beside him, watching him with those big green eyes. He slipped a hand into Jean’s and began pulling him away from the bench.

An hour or so later Levi pulled up to Moblit’s house. Pulling out Hanji’s spare key, Levi let himself in and fell asleep on the couch almost immediately, exhausted and far past his caffeine crash. 

Levi felt warm when he next woke. He cracked open puffy eyes to see sunlight streaming in the window right over him and rolled away with a groan. He didn’t go back to sleep though as someone poked his shoulder. Levi peered up to see a sleepy looking Moblit, bedhead as wild as ever. “Hello, Levi. It’s been a while,” the brunet said with a smile.

Levi blinked sleepily and looked at his watch. It was about three in the afternoon. All Levi could think was what a lazy bum Moblit was, sleeping well into the afternoon. No one could guess it from how much he fretted over Hanji. “Hey Moblit.”

“I knew you were coming today, but I never imagined I’d wake up to find you passed out in my living room. Are you alright?” Moblit offered Levi a mug of black tea which was taken graciously. “I figured this was still your favorite?” Moblit said it with uncertainty; it had been a long while since Levi and he had last seen each other, and even then Hanji was around to translate Levi’s social ineptness and save Moblit the trouble of figuring out whether he should be terrified of or welcoming to Levi. 

Levi nodded. “Thanks. And yes I’m fine I just drove through the night and was pretty exhausted coming in.”

Moblit leaned into the arm of the couch and took a sip from his own mug, probably coffee. “Speaking of, I know you said it was kind of urgent on the phone but what exactly are you here for?”

Levi sighed. He knew this conversation was coming. He also was unsure of how much Moblit knew seeing as Hanji had figured it out. “I want you to tell me everything you know about where Eren is. You two must have met while he was here.”

“Eren? The guy with the green eyes?”

“Yes.”

Moblit recalled Hanji’s promise not to tell where the two boys were and wondered if Levi was supposed to be here now or not. “Why though? They’re just on a road trip right?”

Levi seemed to consider Moblit’s answer. It was entirely possible that Eren had asked Moblit to keep quiet too. “Moblit.”

“Yes?”

Levi set his tea down and looked Moblit straight in the eye. “I’m not sure if there’s secrets being kept from me. I know Hanji lied to keep Eren whereabouts a secret, and I have no clue if everyone else in in on this fucking conspiracy, but he’s the love of my entire fucking life and I’d hate to lose him over something stupid. Which is what is going to happen if I can’t track him down and find him.”

Moblit remained silent so Levi continued. “All I know is that he left almost three weeks ago and has only made it here so he’s taking his sweet fucking time and I have a guess of where he might end up because of his only goddamed cooperative friend. I just want one chance to right this. Help. Me.”

The brunet seemed to realize something; what it was Levi couldn’t guess. Moblit sighed. “I wonder if that was the cause that one time…” Moblit muttered to himself. “Um. If this is what I’m thinking of, Eren didn’t ask me to keep secret. I don’t want to betray his trust either though.”

“That’s been the issue this entire time. It just seems like more people are taking his side and I have a bad feeling that there’s just one groundbreaking thing being hidden.”

“I wouldn’t know what Eren is trying to hide. He just seems like he’s trying to cope without you. All I can tell you is that both Eren and Jean seemed really upset when they had a disagreement. When I was first introduced to both of them they were both very cautious around each other like they were afraid the other would dart off at the first opportunity. The actuality of the situation was that Eren was afraid that Jean was angry about him crossing a line and Jean couldn’t figure out what Eren was so afraid of.”

Moblit remained silent for a moment. It looked as though he was collecting his thoughts. “I don’t know what happened at all, but I’m gonna take a wild guess here and say one of the reasons Eren is so upset and on this trip is because of something having to do with you. If I’m right about that then Eren being afraid of Jean’s abandonment stems from you and whatever happened to start all this. Something happened between you two, a fight or otherwise, and Eren felt abandoned and left as a way to either cover up the fact that that happened or as a coping mechanism. Either way, it seems like he’s trying to move on thinking there’s no future involving you. I can only guess this because of how he reacted to Jean. Eren is getting closer than he initially was to Jean apparently. Probably because Jean serves as a good break from reality; or this entire trip.”

Levi nodded. He wasn’t entirely sure, but that was the best answer he’d gotten from what anyone could piece together at this point.

“So you want to make up for what happened?” Moblit asked.

Levi nodded again. “I guess if things have gotten this out of hand, I can’t guarantee he’ll come running back to me, but it’s too big of a deal to let it be.”

“Eren and Jean don’t have a final destination picked out. Eren seems to have an idea, but through and through this road trip is looking to be an escape, so as such it doesn’t even matter where they go. I know they are going toward the coast since they had no plans to turn around and they are sort of running out of road. I mean, to the coast from here is a weekend length trip. I did get one drunk text from Jean about a day ago and it looked to be at some house from the pictu—“

Levi cut Moblit off. “They were drunk?” He seemed to simmer a little. “That idiot. Does he even realize how much he’s worrying me?” Levi muttered angrily. 

“Yeah. They drank with me and Hanji at the concerts too. Is that bad?” 

Levi pressed his mouth into a tight line and brooded into his tea. “No.”

Moblit didn’t buy it but dropped it. “I couldn’t tell you where they were but it looked like a really nice house. I think your best bet would be to head toward the place Eren’s friend told you about and maybe look around in the nicer part of Mitras on the way. You might catch them if you leave now, though I’m not gonna recommend that because you drove through the night.”

Levi stood and picked up his bag. “Well it’s just the information I need and the chance I don’t want to miss, so yes I am leaving now.” He walked briskly to the door.

“Levi, just don’t kill yourself. Please. Reminding Hanji of that is tiring enough.” Moblit stood too and waved dejectedly as Levi turned the corner to rush down the stairs; only a quick nod signaled Levi to have heard anything Moblit said. Moblit sighed. “Guess this is bigger than I anticipated huh?”


	15. The day I first called you my boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Eren spend their first day since Jean asked Eren out fairly normally but its special to them all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! has it been as long as it feels since my last update?  
> I am training for a triathlon and went 24 miles of running and biking today so I was afraid I'd fall asleep before I finished. I stayed awake though! 
> 
> This was a cute chapter to write, though next time as Jean and Eren become more comfortable with each other and Levi gets closer to the pair things start to pick up. Getting closer to the end. But no worries there's still a ways to go.
> 
> I don't wanna say smut chapter cuz its just something little, but hey it's there... *blushes* it's my first time writing something like this that others will see. 
> 
> anyways. Enjoy the chapter! (⊙‿⊙✿)

Eren ran his fingers through Jean’s hair. Jean was currently laying across the car seats with his head in Eren’s lap. Eren sipped at some canned soup in a solo cup they warmed on their tiny stove for an impromptu breakfast as he ran his free hand through Jean’s hair.

“Your hair is getting long,” Eren observed.

“You can put yours in a fucking ponytail.”

Eren set his cup on the dashboard and brought his hands to his own brown locks. It’d been a long while since they left home and both had probably been in need of a haircut when they left; by now they looked a little homeless; technically they were way out here. Eren smoothed the hair back into the tiniest little stump of a ponytail ever.

“It’s more like a bunnytail or something,” as he said it he wrinkled his nose at the silliness of the concept.

“That’s a brilliant name for it.” Jean reached up and pulled Eren’s ear like his mother used to. “You’re just a cute little bunny.” Eren swatted his hand away and reached back for his soup.

“At least I’m not a horse,” he mumbled into his cup.

“You did not.” Jean brought a finger up and tipped the bottom of the cup up just enough to make Eren sputter but not enough to spill the soup all over Eren and himself. Eren set the cup down and coughed. He glared down at Jean who smirked back up. Eren pulled Jean’s hair.

“Ow! You little shit!” Jean sat up and pulled at Eren’s own hair. Eren slapped his hand back and lunged the best he could in the small space to knock Jean back. Eren landed comfily across the taller male’s chest. On the other hand, Jean overshot and hit his head against the driver’s side door with a loud thunk.

“Ohhh. Shit. Are you ok?” Eren asked quickly. Jean brought his hands to his throbbing head and collapsed into the seat.

“Ugh. No more fighting in the car,” he whined.

Eren moved so Jean could lay more comfortably on the seat. “I’m sorry.”

“S’ fine.”

Eren scooted up and ran a hand across the spot that hurt. Jean flinched a little, but it was mostly just a dull pain. The brunet leaned up and kissed the spot. Yes, Jean thought, it definitely felt better. 

“There. All better,” Eren said, though it was muffled in Jean’s hair. He then lifted his face from the soft light hair only to gasp. “Oh my god!”

Jean shot up. “What?!” He was panicked. Was he bleeding? Did he need stitches? He didn’t think he hit it THAT hard.

“Holy shit. You do die your hair!! Everyone thought you did, but never had any proof! But now I’ve seen your real hair color with my own eyes!!”

“Oh my fuck.” Jean collapsed back down into the seat in both relief and self-loathing. “I totally forgot about that.” He covered part of his face with one hand and brought the other to the top of his head. “Shit…” He paused then. “Um, does it look bad?” Jean felt like he wanted to cry when Eren hesitated. “Nonononooo…”

“Shut up. It doesn’t look that bad,” Eren griped. “Actually if you want honesty your whole hairstyle is a bit of a disaster. The undercut is way too overgrown and now your real color is showing in this large mop of hair on top of your head.” Blunt. Jean hated how blunt Eren could be at times when other times he stepped around the truth so effectively that Jean felt bad asking.

“You’re so fucking lucky you get a sexy bunnytail and I have this.” Jean felt dejected.

“Calm down, the color isn’t showing that much yet.” Eren tried to comfort the deflated man under him. “I didn’t notice it until I was literally sticking my face in the top of your hair.” Well he had a point there.

“Fine, but can we go to get it fixed?” Jean pleaded.

“Not a fucking chance, we are too poor as is.” Another good point. 

“You’re right…I just…” Jean tried to argue.

Eren sighed. “Ugh, fine beauty queen. Maybe we can fix your roots. But you probably won’t let me near your neck with scissors and a professional haircut and dye is too expensive; we’re not spending more than ten bucks fixing this.” That was better than nothing at least. Jean nodded. “Who are you trying to impress anyways?”

Fuck was all Jean thought. “Maybe impress isn’t the right word, I’m just trying to not look like a total hobo yet.” Eren was going to roll his eyes because it didn’t matter, but then he stopped when he caught Jean’s blush.

Eren smirked. “No way.” Jean’s amber eyes looked a bit frightened. “You’re worried about what I think of your looks!” Damn the punk was smart that morning.

“N-no!” Jean mentally slapped himself as the worst cover up in the history of cover ups escaped his lips.

Eren just started laughing then, and Jean blushed harder because damn it was beautiful. “You dumbass. I don’t care if you decide to shave your head! I’m still gonna like you.” Jean let out a breath.

He smiled bashfully up at Eren and his perfection. “It’s still not fair. You’re like the definition of ethereal and I’m just your lanky boyfriend with the dull eyes.”

“That is not a comparison I’ve heard before, but whatever. I think you’re just fine the way you are.” Jean wouldn’t have believed another soul on the planet, but Eren didn’t have a trace of lying in his face or in his voice and Jean just decided to accept it.

“Ok, but can we still fix my hair color?” Jean asked sheepishly.

Eren laid down on Jean. “Yeah.”

And thus when they next saw a supermarket they went in and got Jean his dye. Eren disappeared from the bathroom after watching Jean fumble with the top of his head for all of five minutes. Jean emerged not too long after to find the brunet cart surfing in traffic. Safe to say his heart nearly stopped.

“EREN!”

Eren swerved around a car, a loud honk following his appearance. He waved in Jean’s direction and gave the cart another push. Jean sprinted after. The tall male darted in and out of the parking lot traffic earning him nearly as many honks as Eren. When he finally got close to Eren, Jean yelped when Eren nearly plowed him over by jumping off the cart. Jean managed to catch him in something akin to a princess hold though he missed on of Eren’s legs and looked far more disheveled than normal.

“YOU DUMBASS!” Jean hollered.

Eren wrapped his arms around Jean’s neck and swung his hanging leg up into Jean’s grip. “Done primping?” he asked as if they both hadn’t almost died in a car crash.

“What the hell were you doing?” Jean asked exasperated.

Eren shrugged. “Passing time. Why is your hair all greasy? It looks gross.” 

Jean’s eyebrows furrowed together. “You are a new kind of stupid,” he deadpanned. “And how dare you call me gross! You fucking burped in my mouth when you kissed me yesterday during dinner!” Eren flashed a charming smile in response. “You are really lucky that I won’t drop you for that.” Eren laughed a little and swung his feet down.

“Come on! If you’re done with your hair let’s keep going.”

Eren began to walk back towards the car. Jean jogged to catch up and stopped the brunet by his shoulder. “Eren please don’t do something like that again.”

Eren turned around. “You mean the cart surfing? Don’t worry I won’t…without you. Next time we are going to scare twice as many drivers!”

Jean sighed. “You were hanging with Connie and Sasha too much before we left.”

“They have good weed connections.”

Jean threw his hands in the air. “Amazing. You’re all idiots.”

The rest of the day and night were spent driving. Eren stopped and got a motel room around three in the morning moving all their stuff into the room before opening the passenger side door and carrying a sleeping Jean to bed. Jean woke in the morning to find Eren had stolen all the blankets on the cold night. It was as if spring was going in reverse; despite having been blessed with some warm days and nights earlier in the month, the previous few nights had been borderline freezing. Jean shivered in the cool room and burrowed into the blankets next to Eren. Eren mumbled sleepily and lifted his head to look around the dingy room before settling on Jean’s features. He smiled sleepily and relinquished some covers to his companion.

“Morning douchnozzle,” Jean murmured.

“Why am I a douchnozzle?” Eren asked bringing a hand to the back of Jean’s head to pet the dark undercut. Jean closed his eyes at the touch.

“Because you stole all the blankets.”

Eren rolled his eyes and settled his mouth into a smirk. “I know something that will warm you up.” His voice was sultry though Jean could tell he wasn’t one hundred percent serious since they’d not had sex or even talked about it yet. Not to mention the fact Jean had little to no idea of how sex with another man worked, and though he could figure it out, it was still a bit nerve-wracking. 

Jean gave a chuckle. “Having sex in a shitty motel is, like, classic scary movie material.”

“Then I’ll just give you a blow job instead.” Jean liked the sound of that. As Eren said it he scooted closer to Jean whom met the brunet with a kiss. Eren wasted no time in opening their mouths and sliding his tongue against Jean’s. The brunet hummed into the kiss when he heard the noise Jean made in the back of his throat. Eren and Jean separated with a smack and Eren immediately ducked his head to lick at Jean’s jawline. 

Hands roamed farther down lifting shirts and dancing along warm skin. Eren pulled away for a minute so Jean could sit up and pull his shirt off. Eren wound his arms around Jean’s thin waist and kissed his hip. Jean shivered at the cold and the sensation of Eren’s mouth on his lower stomach. Jean had worn a pair of Eren's basketball shorts yesterday so it was easy for the brunet to slide his hands up Jean's pale inner thighs.

Amber eyes watched Eren’s movements attentively as he settled in between Jean’s legs comfortably and let fingers roam in the dark hair that graced the skin just above Jean’s waistband. Eren paused to take the pillows from the bed and prop them behind Jeans back.

“Lean back,” Eren commanded quietly. Jean obeyed setting his weight into the comfy pillows without having to lay down completely. Eren began to tug his shorts down. Jean trembled at the sensation. Eren paused again and sat up. “Jean I know this is your first time doing something farther than kissing with another guy. I want you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable at all.”

Jean seemed to regard his words. In all truthfulness it was a lot less scary to be doing this with Eren than he originally anticipated. “I’m fine right now.”

Eren grinned a bit devilishly. “I bet you’re just desperate from all the teasing.”

Jean flicked Eren in the nose. “Just get on with it.” Eren stuck his tongue out before leaning down again and pulling Jean’s shorts partway down his thighs. Eren took Jean’s erection in his hand and began sliding his fingers up and down. Jean let his head settle back against the wall. He had to admit that after only getting off in the shower a few times over a period of nearly a month now, Eren’s hand felt heavenly. The brunet only kept up with his hand for a minute though, sliding his tongue along the underside before slipping the head into his mouth. Jean let out a sigh and swallowed hard.

Eren picked up the pace a little after he’d successfully taken most of Jean’s dick into his mouth. Jean every so often lost himself and let out little moans, the sensations overtaking him didn’t let him last long. He tugged on Eren’s hair gently when he felt close to the end and came on Eren’s hand. Jean pulled his shorts back up and slumped back into the sheets while Eren washed his hand off in the bathroom. Eren returned and slipped into bed beside Jean, the pair cuddling back into the warmth of the blankets.

Jean pressed his shoulder to Eren’s to get his attention. “Do you want one too?”

Eren shook his head. “Maybe later. I’m just happy like this.” Jean reveled in Eren’s warmth. “Can we spoon though?” Eren added after a moment. Jean nodded and Eren turned over and pressed his back to Jean’s chest who in turn slipped closer and wrapped arms around Eren’s smaller figure. Eren slid his feet closer to Jean’s, but jumped when he felt icy toes.

“Sorry,” Jean said apologetically. Eren smiled and scooted a little farther down the mattress so he could cover Jean’s feet with his own and tuck his head under Jean’s chin. They laid in a comfortable silence for a while until Jean spoke up. “Hey Eren.”

“Hm?” Eren turned his head to glance at Jean as he spoke.

“I’m sorry we haven’t done much since I asked you out. I figured it’d be easy to do something special, I was looking for things as we passed through towns, but I guess I fell asleep before I found anything.” Jean sighed and fidgeted with the ties on Eren’s hoodie. “I know we haven’t gone on a date yet and it hasn’t been that long…but can I still call you my boyfriend?” He said it rather meekly. Eren twisted a little to face Jean.

“I think I’d really like it if you called me your boyfriend,” Eren said with a smile. He pressed a kiss to Jean’s collarbone as it was the only thing he could reach in his position. “And I don’t really care if you don’t bring me to a fancy restaurant or to some large fireworks display or other things. I’m having fun just being around you. I got you to try something sexy with me. I’m not asking for anything. If I wanted those things I wouldn’t date you. Maybe a reason I like you is because you won’t be super fluffy with me.”

Jean rested his chin on top of Eren’s hair. “You’re really great, you know that?”

Eren nuzzled into Jean’s neck with a grin. He could pick out the last remnants of the hickeys from the party and kissed a faded bruise. Being wrapped in the taller man’s arms like this brought far more comfort to Eren than Jean realized. In Jean’s arms Eren didn’t think of home, or the future, or Levi. He was enveloped by this stupid idiot who gave him hope and drive and happiness in his darkest times.

They were both peacfully asleep in minutes.


	16. The night you finally talked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finally gives Jean a little insight as to what has happened to him. They talk about their problems and maybe it will be the first step to fix it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend in the Air Force. He had to go through something similar to Levi in regards to Eren and is having some trouble finding his way again. I hope you're doing alright buddy! <3
> 
> Oh my a whole chapter in a day! where did that come from??
> 
> I'm glad I did it though. I can actually continue with the plot with this. My original plot is dead and gone so I'm trying to salvage the story's themes and things i like about the characters. I think I'll be alright though.
> 
> This chapter was a little heavier. Poor Eren and Jean. These are the sort of problems a lot of us have though. Not knowing what you want to do, feeling your days are meaningless, and the thing about breaking up before marriage is really hard to get through. I think Eren and Jean really trust each other and can get through this though.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! (▰˘◡˘▰)

“Hey Jean. Do you ever think of shit back home?”

Jean glanced sideways at Eren. He was still gazing up at the dark sky. They were currently parked in the middle of someone’s farmland stargazing into a moonless sky. The stars were brilliant out there, not a cloud in the sky and no light pollution to ruin the view. The sat side by side, propped against the windshield. Jean was aware of their shoulders brushing and their pinkies resting against each other. Jean’s eyes flitted back to the constellations overhead. “Sometimes.” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “Not really that often though…we’ve been gone for a month, longer actually. Trost and everyone feel so detached now. 

“What about when we go back?” Eren asked. Jean thought he heard Eren’s voice quiver but maybe he just imagined it. He slid his hand over and grasped Eren’s. 

“We’re actually going back?” The question was simple enough but it surprised Eren enough for him to accidentally whip his head back into the windshield. Jean snorted.

Eren rubbed at the back of his head and sat up. “W-what?! You thought we weren’t ever going to go back!?”

Jean smiled. “It seems like the kind of thing you’d do. But to answer your question: going home I probably be worried about school and everything since we left before finals finished up.”

Eren sighed. “I don’t think I’d mind never going back, but I’d miss Mikasa and all them. Weirdly enough.”

“Are you homesick?” Jean asked.

Eren shook his head. “I think apprehensive is a better word. Like how much longer can we bum around out here?”

Jean pulled Eren’s ear. “What the hell you shit? You’re not the one who worries about that crap. That’s my job! Don’t you have problems back home or something? Isn’t that why we’re out here? Worry about that first dumbass.” Eren was a little taken aback. Jean’s harsh language wasn’t anything new, and it wasn’t even the fact that he was telling Eren not to consider something important…

Eren sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Jean actually had to hold himself back from leaping across the hood of the car and pleading with Eren. Maybe this was it? Would Eren actually talk about what made him leave?

Jean almost cheered when Eren nodded. Eren was about to speak when he glanced sideways at Jean and raised an eyebrow. “Um…are you okay?”

Jean realized that he probably looked a little terrifying with how excited he was over Eren finally talking. He had also closed the distance between them and was practically on Eren’s lap. He nodded and let himself relax. “Yes. I’m great.” He cleared his throat awkwardly and backed up slightly.

Eren just rolled his eyes. “If you say so. I guess I’m worried about what to do when I go back. I did screw up, so it’s not just as simple as going back to school and work. I mean, I’ve always wanted to travel, but I had enough back in Trost to keep me there; friends, Levi, my future, but now I just don’t feel like I have all that to go back to. That’s why I left.”

Jean let all that sink in. Eren left because there was nothing keeping him in Trost. “Did you and Levi break up?”

Eren furrowed his brows. I give you that information and that’s the first question you think to ask?! Is it even important?”

Jean let his gaze fall to their joined hands. “It’s important to me.”

Eren eyes widened before glancing downwards too. “Yes. We broke up. Over something dumb too…”

Jean noted how Eren’s eyes glazed over. “Am I a rebound?” he asked sadly.

Eren whipped his head up, all traces of sadness gone. His voice held panic. “NONONONO! YOU’RE NOT A REBOUND I SWEAR! I like you so much! I’m-I’m sorry that it seems so weird I just—“

The answer was more than enough for Jean. He smiled after he got over the initial shock of Eren yelling right next to him. Mid rant he swept Eren into a hug effectively quieting the brunet. Eren sighed into his shoulder and slumped. 

Jean squeezed Eren tight and the brunet moved to sit on Jean’s lap and wrap his arms around Jean’s chest. “Good. I get it. I trust you,” Jean said with a huff. “Are you okay though? I know Levi was really important to you.”

Eren pressed his forehead into Jean’s neck. “I miss him. I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you want to hear but…”

Jean sighed and looked back up at the sky. “It’s fine. Like it’s kinda sucky that I like you and you still love someone else, but if you were going to marry him then I guess that’s kind of hard to get over.”

Eren sniffed and looked up. “You’re being really understanding…it’s not like you to be honest.”

Jean let his eyes slide over Eren’s features. Pausing at the lines between his eyebrows. They were both too stressed for people their age. “I’m trying not to ruin this. Like on the inside I want to punch you in the face for being indecisive, but I also don’t want you to run off because I didn’t even try to think of things from your point of view.”

Eren sighed. “Thank you.”

Jean still punched Eren in the chest. “Hurry up and decide though, or you’ll be stringing me along like your sister did.”

“She didn’t you just wouldn’t take no for an answer.” He stuck his tongue out at Jean.

Jean grinned and pulled on Eren’s tongue with his fingers. “Alright I guess you have a point.” Eren struggled until Jean released his tongue.

“Dick.”

“I know you are but what am I?” Jean sang. Then his face fell. “Eren. The thing you said about having nothing left back home. I think I understand it. Like I still love all our friends, but you said yourself that my idea of a good future is kinda sad. I get what you mean, but I’ve never known what to do. But what can we do to fix it?”

“Find something else to be passionate about,” Eren replied. Jean stared at him. “It’s really that simple I promise. We’ve both lost something we could devote all our time and energy toward without reservations, and I know I just need to find something I love as much as Levi or the thought of traveling all over the world. It’s just not always easy finding something…”

Jean brought his hands up and idly played with Eren’s hair until the brunet leaned against him again. “You talk like this has happened to you before.”

“It has. I think losing someone important changes people more than they think. I felt like this when I lost my mom back in sixth grade, and now again with Levi.”

Jean remembered when Eren lost his mother. They weren’t close back then, in fact they got sent to the office weekly for fist fights and arguments. Yet, Jean still found himself worried when Eren showed up to school after being gone a week looking completely and utterly empty. Mikasa looked similar but not to the degree that Eren did. Eren didn’t even respond when Jean had taunted him and by the end of the year Eren had stopped showing up to school entirely.

Eren had to retake sixth grade the next year leaving him a year behind all his friends. He did regain his drive though and not only caught up to his friends to graduate with them, but also joined the varsity rugby team with Jean and Annie. Jean was only satisfied though when Eren started fighting with him again. It was just plain wrong to walk down the hallways and not have the green-eyed bastard yelling insults at him the whole way. The strangest part to Jean was that his grades dropped when Eren stopped fighting back. 

Jean snapped out of his reverie with a shake of his head. “I guess I’ve never really known what I wanted in the first place though. At least you have an idea. And you’re out traveling now. Aren’t you happy?”

“I’m very happy out here, but I know I can go farther than this if I find a way to make money that I also love. I’d starve if I just traveled forever.”

“True enough. Speaking of, how much money do we have left?” Jean asked. They had been more careful about spending money since Moblit’s place, but they were still beginning to run low. They had to make sure they kept enough to make it back home.

Eren shrugged. “I think we have about seven hundred left.”

“We better turn around soon. That won’t last long.” 

“That’s was my point earlier fuckwit!!” Eren said angrily. Jean just grinned and pulled Eren in for a kiss.

He pulled back after a minute. “I know. I just like picking on you.” Eren rolled his eyes and stole another kiss from Jean. There were no more words after that.

A while later Eren cried out as he came a second time. White splattered across Jean’s abdomen as he finished himself off with a few more thrusts. Eren collapsed on top of Jean after Jean moved his hand from their softening erections. Exhaustion quickly settled on the pair as they laid together. They sprawled across the seats in the truck reveling in the sticky heat between them, because the alternative was the chilly air that insistently prickled across their skin giving Eren goosebumps.

“Cold?” Eren nodded and Jean hefted himself up with Eren still lying across him to search the back for something to cover them.

“There’s a blanket under the cooler,” Eren mumbled. Jean groaned because he had to sit up all the way and loose Eren’s body heat. He quickly tugged the fabric out from under the cooler and as an afterthought he grabbed their shared pack of cigarettes and Eren’s matches before he got comfortable again. Eren cracked the window as Jean threw the blanket over them. Eren shifted around until he stopped shivering and settled into the juncture between Jean’s chest and the seat backs. He rested his head on Jean’s chest while the taller male lit a cigarette and breathed in the soothing smoke. Jean settled down allowing Eren to rest on his shoulder instead and he handed the cigarette to Eren.

Jean watched as the smoke slowly rose up to the open window and seeped out while Jean and Eren relaxed in their little haven. “The world could end right now, and I’d be okay with it,” Jean commented after a few minutes had passed.

Eren hummed in agreement. “Oh, hey I just remembered something. Remember that comment you made about me and Levi way back before the concert?”

Jean strained to remember but came up with nothing. “Sorry.”

“It was something like he and I would run away together and spend out days smoking and having angry gay sex.”

Jean snorted. “Oh yeah. I remember.”

Eren smiled. “Isn’t that kinda what we’re doing now?” Jean was about to argue, but yes that was exactly what they were doing. He brought a hand to his face to hide his blush and grinned when Eren laughed.

Jean finally could form words after a few minutes. “I’m so different from when I left that it’s scary. If I’d heard someone tell me that before we left I’d have denied it with the entirety of my being.”

Eren laughed a little more. “We’re both very different from before we left.” He paused to snuggle into Jean’s side and took another drag from the cigarette. “I like it.”

“Me too,” Jean murmured. Eren’s breathing settled into a rhythm and Jean returned his attention to the stars. “Hey Eren.” Eren nuzzled Jean’s neck to let him know he was listening. “What did you become passionate about before? Like with your mom?”

Eren was silent for a moment and Jean wondered if he fell asleep, but the brunet answered quietly. “I became passionate about you. I knew I could do better if I were competing with you. I haven’t hated you in almost eight years because, even if you didn’t realize, you were the dumb idiot who helped me stand up and do my best again.”

Jean buried his face in Eren’s hair, blushing hard. “Sap.” Eren nodded and Jean could feel him smiling. He decided to be honest as well. “I’m passionate about you too, Eren.”


	17. The day we had the time of our lives (Morning)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet another multi part chapter. i always have such short chapters that when i have a long one it feels odd to just post the entire thing.
> 
> Levi encounters some trouble early in the morning and Eren and Jean take a slight detour in order to see the ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was crammed with so much shit that I had to space it out. After this though things pick up again. Oh Levi is getting so close to Eren and Jean!
> 
> I burned three of the fingers on my left hand at 1 am last weekend and was out of typing commission for a few days, otherwise this would have been up sooner.
> 
> School also starts soon, but i think it will actually help the story along as i not only have some story writing courses but also time in between classes so, hopefully this will finish up before the semester ends. I think it will.
> 
> And lastly i love the comments i've been getting and it just makes me grin so wide whenever i see a new one in my inbox. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

The last thing Levi expected at eight in the morning was a ball of fire and loud whistles shooting through his side window and into his lap. All he could manage to think was thank god he was stopped at a red light.

He quickly swatted the firecracker away from his lap and stomped it out on the passenger side floor. With a raggled sigh the raven haired turned toward the direction of the assault and glared murderously. When faced with anyone armed with some pop-punk playlist and a pair of aviators that drove up beside him and threw a firecracker through his open window to get his attention, murder was Levi’s first instinct. Unfortunately, the thrower of the firecracker lowered her sunglasses enough to reveal a pair of bright brown eyes to accompany the wide grin she wore.

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!”

Hanji waggled her eyebrows. “You can’t leave home without your wingman!” She took off her sunglass and backpedalled a little when Levi managed to look even angrier. “Eh…Nothing just tracking down our elusive friends and recreating our dynamic duo from the beginning of college when everyone was afraid of you and weirded-out by me and we just did everything together and kicked all kinds of ass.”

Levi thought about T-boning Hanji’s car. No. That would attract witnesses because no one west of Kanerase knew what a lunatic she was. He was about to tell her that he’d pay for the gas if she would just go home when an all too familiar redhead and blond poked their heads out of the sunroof.

“Hey big bro!” Isabel called with a cheerful wave. Levi snarled and floored his gas pedal as soon as the light turned green.

“Come on Levi!! I miss them too and classes are still canceled anyways,” Hanji pleaded as Levi sped away. Levi drove ahead fully aware of Hanji riding his ass. After a minute he pulled over in a parking lot to a McDonalds and got out of his car. Hanji pulled into the spot next to him and jumped out her sunroof before running over and hugging Levi. “I love you you tiny, little grump.”

Levi struggled out of the hug. “Hanji back off. You reek.” His freedom was short lived as Isabel ran up and hugged him as soon as Hanji let go. He yanked at her pigtail and she whined but didn’t relinquish her grasp. 

Hanji stepped back and sniffed her armpits curiously. “I showered before I left two days ago.”

Levi’s face contorted into an expression of pure disgust. “Holy hell Hanji!” He gave up on trying to separate from Isabel once she settled on hugging him from behind.

“Hey! I bet Eren is even stinkier than me by now.”

“Sadly you may be right.” Levi crossed his arms. “Fine so you want an adventure to find Eren and Jean? That’s why you booked it all the way out here and almost killed me?”

Hanji looked positively elated. “Yeppers! I live for this shit.”

Unfortunately, it was Hanji, so Levi would not need much convincing to cave into her demands, as much as he hated to admit it. “Good. Great. Let’s go. Fine. Just don’t tailgate me.” 

“Bitch don’t tell me what to do!” Hanji teased as she twirled her sunglasses.

“Yeah. Big bro aint the boss a’ anyone!” Isabel yelled.

Levi leaned over and used Isabel’s own weight to shift her up over his shoulder. She squealed. “Except you brat.” Isabel struggled but Levi was much stronger. She sighed when she accepted she was stuck. “It’s good to see you Izzy,” Levi said tenderly.

Isabel huffed and ruffled up Levi’s hair earning a snarl. The blond laughed lightly. “You’re still as surly as I remember,” he said.

“Shut up Farlan,” Levi growled.

“My point,” Farlan stated.

“It doesn’t matter,” Levi said as he let Isabel slide off his shoulder. “What the fuck are you all doing here?”

“Hanji pretty much summed it up at the light,” Farlan said with a shrug.

The brunette leaned against Levi with her elbow settling on his shoulder. “Yep. We’re gonna help you find Eren and Jean and see if we can’t at least resolve this fight between you two. Isabel says she’s gonna get you and Eren back together as well because he’s a cutie pie. I’m not gonna make that promise, but there’s something I want to see for myself once we find him.”

Levi glanced up at Hanji and sighed. “I figured you were here for that, but why are these two here?” Levi jabbed a finger at Farlan and Isabel.

“I can’t believe you don’t want to see your childhood friend and little sister, Levi,” Farlan accused. Levi gave him the finger.

“I mean how are they here?! Like did you track them down or is this just some giant, stupid coincidence?” Levi asked.

“Oh. Well it IS just some big, stupid coincidence! How happy right? I found them back in Stohess whilst passing through and stopping for gas,” Hanji explained.

Levi looked over at Farlan. He shrugged. “We were visiting the city and happened to spot Hanji while buying Izzy a slushy. She said she was going to find you and asked if we wanted to come.”

Levi glared at Isabel. “Don’t you have school or finals or something?”

Isabel glared back. “I’m fifteen. I do what I want,” she said with a pout.

Farlan laughed and flicked one of Isabel’s pigtails. “Yeah right squirt.” Isabel swatted at his hand. “I thought so too so I called up Kenny and he said it was fine as long as it was Hanji.”

Levi lowered his eyebrows at the mention of his dad. “That old man needs to learn how dangerous Hanji is to my health. No one else on earth would trust her behind the wheel of a car.” Hanji protested, but Levi Ignored her. “Fine. Let’s ALL go find my ex-boyfriend and see what happens. Just don’t screw this up for me please.” 

“Yes!" Hanji picked up Isabel and ran over to her car. Farlan quirked an eyebrow before Levi waved in the direction of his car. The two loud girls with their music on full volume sped out of the parking lot. Levi let out a long sigh before slipping on his own sunglasses and driving after her. Hanji challenged him to a drag race at the very next light and Levi knew this was going to be a long trip. He still smiled as he slammed his foot on the gas pedal, yelling from his friends surrounding him.

At the very same moment Eren was peacefully waking up to the sound of Jean trying to start the truck. Though the peacefulness of the situation was cut short by Jean’s swearing.

“Fucking, hell, shit, fuck.”

“Well good morning sunshine,” Eren said with a wide grin. He was still naked and curled up in the blanket from last night. The sun had risen but wasn’t glaring down on the car yet. Jean, sadly, had put on a pair of cargo shorts and boxers (as Eren could see the purple waistband peeking out the back of his shorts) but the brunet still hummed appreciatively at the glorious sight of Jean’s bare chest and stomach.

“Why are you so happy?” Jean grumbled.

“Because I get to look at your shirtless body after getting boned by you last night and having one of the best sleeps of my life.” Eren laughed when Jean blushed at the memory. “Finally had sex with you and I can’t say I’m disappointed.”

“Shut up you fucking ball of gay rainbows,” Jean spat, though there was an undertone of laughter. 

Eren wore a challenging grin. “You’re the rainbow. You wore tie-dye yesterday.”

“It’s your shirt! And you still wear the crown from the festival. You’re just a big flower child,” Jean retorted.

“Well you wear those colorful scarves. Biggest most pretentious hipster I’ve ever laid eyes on, ya douchbag.”

“A title I wear with pride,” Jean said bringing a hand to his chest.

“Douchbag?” Eren teased.

Jean realized his mistake and his face fell. “Fuck NO! I meant hipster.” He sunk down in his seat and Eren laughed heartily. “What a morning.”

Eren scooted over and head-butted Jean’s shoulder lightly. “Can’t start the car?”

“Yeah. Piece of shit.”

Eren rolled his eyes. “I’ve been telling you this whole time that this truck sucks.”

“Tell me again why we didn’t take my car?” Jean asked. He couldn’t remember if Eren had ever given him a reason. Eren opened his mouth to answer but snapped it shut. “You don’t have an answer do you?”

“Uh…”

“Fucking great.” Eren swatted at him for being sassy and Jean swatted back grumpily. “Don’t hit me! There’s at least twenty good reasons of why we should have taken my awesome looking, fuel efficient car with a full backseat and a new motor that actually starts and doesn’t have one hundred thousand miles on it.”

Eren let out a breath and laid down with his head in Jean’s lap. “Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t in my right mind when we left and you were half asleep. Plus the truck will start. Just chill out for a few more minutes.” 

Jean watched Eren fondly and sighed. “Alright.” Eren smiled and tilted his head into Jean’s lower stomach. Jean was again breathless from how beautiful Eren was. “You’re so pretty, you know?”

Eren pouted. “I’m not pretty. I’m manly as hell.”

Jean chuckled. “Just accept the compliment.” Eren nodded and closed his eyes. “Hey, we’ll be reaching the coast today if we drive.”

Eren grinned. “Yeah. I’m excited to see the ocean, but we’re not quite at the end yet. It’s a little farther north of here, but I think I want to travel along the coast for a while if that’s okay.”

“Yeah. That sounds perfect.”

Around ten Eren finally roused and started the car, still stark naked, Jean would add. Jean did make Eren put on some swim trunks before they reached the beach. Not even an hour later they passed a sign that read: Welcome to Jinae.

“Didn’t Marco live here before he moved to Shingashina in middle school?” Eren asked. Jean nodded as he turned onto a dirt road leading to the water’s edge. “Lucky bastard,” the brunet commented offhandedly.

Jean laughed. “Well he always complained about the heat in summer, but I’d have to agree that this place is pretty cool. I came once in winter and it was too cool to swim, but I thought it was fun regardless.”

As soon as Jean parked in a beach parking lot Eren opened the door and ran across the sandy lot to get a glimpse at the ocean.

“IT’S GORGEOUS!” Eren hollered over the wind and leaves rustling. He whipped around to make sure Jean was following. Jean was suddenly taken back to the first morning when they watched the sunrise. Back then the view had been similar but Eren had barely even cared if Jean walked alongside him.

So much had changed.

Jean smiled and followed Eren to the edge of the outlook. Wooden stairs descended through the small smatterings of woods to the sand far below and from the lot the pair could see far out to the horizon where the sea met sky. Off in the distance they could see a colorful grouping of roofs and a Ferris wheel jutting out on a group of docks and a large pier. A small group of wooden wind chimes could be heard from someone’s summer cottage just a little down the hill and the breeze smelled like heat, salt, and faintly like moss.

Eren without bothering with shoes or a shirt began making his way down the steps. Jean locked the car and followed close behind.

The sand was white hot and the sun beat down, but the ocean was gloriously cool and Eren sprinted straight into the surf. He dove below the waves as Jean’s feet reached the water only popping back up to look back at Jean.

“Get over here!” Eren yelled splashing the water for emphasis. 

“One second,” Jean called as he fastened the key ring to his belt loop. Eren waded back toward Jean and yanked the taller male into the water as soon as the key was secure. “AH FUCK!” Jean yelped as he fell into the spray. “You could have waited until I took my shirt off!”

“Shoulda been faster!” Eren retorted. Jean escaped Eren’s grasp and ran back up to shore. He pulled his soaked shirt off and squeezed out some of the water before depositing it in the sand and joining Eren once more. Eren tackled Jean into the water and came up laughing. He shook his head to get some water out of his too-long hair; it stuck to his neck and cheeks in places and made Jean sigh. He was crushing so hard. Eren caught the sigh and splashed Jean in embarrassment.

“Fuckin’ nerd!” Eren teased. 

Jean grinned and waded over to Eren before lifting him up and chucking him into the water.


	18. The day we had the time of our lives (Afternoon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Jean spend an afternoon acting like a couple while Levi is forced to remember his old friends from high school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may have taken me a month to find time to finish the chapter, but fear not for I am not abandoning this fic.
> 
> I have two writing classes so I'll find some excuse to write this, but if its something gotta turn in then I'll have to write something else since everyone in the class, including the teacher has seen/read Attack on Titan (stupid game design major and its anime watcher demographic).
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“EREN QUIT ROCKING THE SEATS!” Jean yelped as Eren swung his feet hard enough to make the entire double seat creek.

Eren cackled beside him and obliged before he threw an arm over his shoulder. “Aw! Poor Jean’s afraid of heights.” Jean thought about swatting his arm away out of spite but found it rather comforting. Eren grasped reassuringly at his shoulder and pulled him over to lean on him. The still wet ends of Eren’s long hair tickled his cheek. 

“I’m not scared of heights. I’m uneasy because we are fifty feet in the air and you are swinging us so much it feels like the seat’s gonna flip,” Jean said with an eye roll.

Eren laughed again. “The Ferris wheel was your idea, so shut up.”

Jean growled. “I just said I’m not afraid of heights!”

“Uh-huh,” Eren said sarcastically.

Jean elbowed him hard enough to make the brunet flinch. “Fuck you.”

“Um, there’s kids in the seats above us, so why don’t we keep this PG?” Eren said whist pointing upwards and Jean sighed in defeat. Eren tapped the top of Jean’s head after a moment making him turn and look up at Eren. Before Jean could ask what he wanted Eren leaned in and caught Jean’s lips with his own. Jean sat up a little straighter and happily returned the kiss.

When they pulled apart Jean returned to leaning against Eren. “Weren’t we going to be PG?”

Eren scoffed. “That was totally kid-friendly! We didn’t even use tongue!” Jean shushed him quickly because one of the kids did in fact turn around to see who was yelling.

Once the ride ended Jean pulled Eren away from the crowd. “You’re an embarrassment.” Eren flashed a cocky grin before grabbing Jean’s hand and guiding him along the edge of the pier. Jean laced their fingers together and Eren began walking a fraction closer. They bumped shoulders on occasion and Jean couldn’t help the giddy smile that appeared on his face. 

Jean had never been afraid to show affection around Eren, but he still was amazed at how different things used to be and how odd it felt to be openly caring toward the brunet.

Eren dragged Jean from place to place across the pier until the sun started to set. Jean glanced up as the sky began to look pink.

“Hey Eren. Let’s find somewhere to eat. Maybe with a view?” Jean said the last part a bit sheepishly.

“We can’t afford to eat out,” Eren pointed out. “We haven’t been able to for weeks. I’m not sure why you always suggest it.”

Jean ducked his head in embarrassment. “I meant like, get food from our cooler and then sit on a roof somewhere.”

Eren nodded. “Alright.”

Jean dragged Eren atop a building in the marina. They sat down just as the sun began to dip below the horizon. From the sidewalk below, a busker sang in a clear, high voice while the orange and red sky cast a golden filter over everything and made the ocean flicker with bursts of light.

Eren and Jean ate in relative silence, yet it was still comfortable. Eren took in the view greedily while Jean faced Eren and let his eyes trail across Eren’s features. Eren’s was a strong yet thin figure with shoulders that might be considered wide if he were a bit bigger, but Eren hadn’t grown much since he was sixteen; eight years later he was still less than 5’9” and to Jean he was light as a fucking feather. His face was more childish than Jean’s since it was shorter and rounder, and it wasn’t helped by his large expressive eyes; they were still the most beautiful thing about him, though. Thick eyebrows always set in a bit of a relaxed scowl and dark brown hair currently highlighted with gold contrasted beautifully off his bronzed skin.

Jean thought about Eren’s abrasive personality and how hard he could hit. He was always struck by Eren’s willpower and stupidity. 

Everything about Eren made Jean’s heart melt.

“I think I love you…” Jean murmured under his breath. Eren couldn’t hear it with the wind and the music, but Jean smiled because he’d said it. He closed his eyes and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Eren’s shoulder.

“Jean?”

“Shhh,” Jean whispered. “I’m just really happy to be here with you.”

Eren rested his head against Jean’s. “Me too.”

They stayed like that until their shadows became dim in the twilight and the lights in the buildings began to reflect off the black water. Only when the busker began to play Sea of Love by Cat Power did Eren shift around.

“Hey Jean,” he said as he nudged the taller male. “Wanna dance?” Jean nodded and lifted his head. Eren stood and pulled Jean up by his wrists. With a smile Eren shifted his grip from Jean’s wrists to his shoulders and guided Jean closer slipping his fingers around the back of Jean’s neck. 

“You be the boy cuz you’re taller,” he said quietly as if the moment would shatter if either spoke too loudly.

“Girl doesn’t have to be shorter,” Jean pointed out. Eren nodded but kept his hands where they were. Sighing Jean slid his arms around Eren’s waist and drew the brunet flush against his chest. Jean laughed lightly because neither of them were good dancers and all they were doing was swaying like everyone did at high school dances; at least there were no obnoxious, horny teenagers grinding in their general vicinity. 

After a moment, Eren began mouthing the words to the song.

“Come with me my love  
To the sea  
The sea of love  
I want to tell you  
How much I love you”

The busker crooned from the street, repeating the song once to lengthen it. Eren lowered his hands to hug Jean after the guitar stopped. Wind whipped around the pair as they stood close, clinging to each other. 

“Wasn’t that song from Juno?” Eren asked after a moment. Jean thought about it and nodded.

“Yeah, I liked Anyone Else But You better though.”

Eren lifted his head. “I don’t remember that one.”

Jean recalled the lyrics, it was a bit fuzzy since he’d only seen the movie once a few years ago. “Let’s see. Um…you’re a part time lover and a full time friend…the monkey on your back is the latest trend…”

Recognition flashed across Eren’s expression and he smiled. “I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you,” he sang, finishing the verse. 

Jean grinned at the fact that Eren remembered. “Yes! I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train. I kiss you all starry-eyed, my body swingin from side to side. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.”

Eren continued. “Here is the church, and here is the steeple. We sure are cute for two ugly people. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.”

“The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me, so why can’t you forgive me? I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.” Jean momentarily thought about how long it took for Eren to forgive him after a few of their fights as Eren began the next line.

“I will find my nitch in your car with my MP3, DVD, rumble-packed guitar. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.”

“Du du du du du du du du du du…” Eren joined in with Jean on the “du’s” after only a second.

Eren let go of Jean and began walking along the roof. He sang more as he went. “Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start. Just because we use cheats doesn’t mean we’re not smart. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.” Eren looked back as he finished his verse to see if Jean was following.

He was. “You are always tryin to keep it real. I’m in love with how you feel. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.”

Eren smiled at the truth of the next line in their long friendship. “We both have shiny, happy fits of rage. You want more fans, I want more stage. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.”

“Don Quixote was a steel driving man. My name is Adam. I’m your biggest fan. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.”

“Squinched up your face and did a dance, shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants. I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else but you.” Eren raised his pitch at the end of the last line, giggling mid line as Jean danced a little in mock of the verse. Next, they launched into another round of “du’s”.

“But you…” Eren and Jean sang together at the end.

Quickly Eren closed the few foot gap between them and pressed his lips to Jean’s. 

Back in his car, Levi dragged a hand down his face in irritation.

“Are we there yet?!” Isabel cried.

Levi glared at his sister. “Izzy. Shut up. We’ll be there in like an hour.” 

Isabel groaned and sprawled out on her seat letting her bare feet stretch across Levi’s lap. “We should stop and do something fun.”

Levi’s eye twitched at her disgusting feet touching him. He smacked the bottom of her foot and she recoiled with a screech. “Izzy. No. this is really important that we get to this place as soon as possible. I’m not going to fuck shit up and miss Eren because you didn’t want to be bored for a little while. You can go do something fun after we get there. AND KEEP YOUR GODDAMNED FEET OFF ME!!” he added when she shoved her foot against his hip.

“Come on! I just want fifteen minutes NOT driving! I’ve been in a car for two days Levi!” Isabel pleaded. 

Levi scowled out the windshield. “You didn’t have to come you know? I didn’t ask you to come. I said you could tag along if you didn’t screw things up with Eren.”

Isabel withdrew her feet and pouted in her seat. “Fine. I just wish you were fun like you used to be bro. You’re so LAME now! All you do is work and talk about your boyfriend.”

Levi was taken aback. “I’m not lame! I’m busy! I hardcore party with Hanji and Erwin almost every other day!”

Isabel rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you and your only two friends getting drunk over your ex at sleazy clubs sounds totally not lame.”

Levi reached over and swatted at her. “I know a trap when I hear one. I’m not pulling over to prove how fun I am. And if you complain again I’m telling dad that you got brought home by the police once for robbing a convenience store with your little soft grunge, bubblegum posse.”

“HEY!” Isabel swatted back. “You promised not to tell! And it only happened once! Plus who even says posse anymore?! Like, seriously, geezer alert!”

“I’M ONLY THIRTY YOU BRAT!!”

Isabel stuck out her tongue. “YEAH! THIRTY IS WHEN PEOPLE BECOME OLD LAME-O’S!! HANJI’S STILL COOL BECAUSE SHE’S TWENTY EIGHT!”

The siblings launched into a slap fight with Levi complaining over how he could only use one hand since he was driving. He swore when his phone rang because he had to use his free hand to hold the phone and received the full brunt of Isabel’s attack.

“WHAT?!” Levi snapped into the speaker.

Hanji laughed on the other end of the line. “Are you two fighting?”

“Yes! I’m pulling over so I can kill her properly! ISABEL STOP IT!!” Levi hollered as he took the nearest exit. He hung up on Hanji’s cackling and parked in a public lot just left of the exit ramp. Isabel and Levi flew out of their seats before Levi tackled Isabel into the grass on the side of the lot.

It was a flurry of hair pulling, smacking, and biting. Hanji pulled up and quickly got out. She held up her phone as she got close. “Oh man. This is definitely going on Youtube.” Farlan stood beside Hanji looking like he was conflicted between laughing and stepping in to pull them apart.

Levi snapped when Isabel gave him a wet Willie. He rolled her over and sat on her holding her wrists to the ground with his right hand and wiping at his ear with his left. “Fucking disgusting Isabel.”

She frantically tried to buck him off and kick him but she was stuck. “EW! LEVI’S PUTTING HIS BUTT ON ME!” she yelled. Hanji snorted.

“Shut up. You put your nasty feet all over me. This is completely justified,” he argued. Isabel struggled for a few more minutes until she finally calmed down. She went limp under Levi panting heavily.

“You’re fat! Get off!” she whined. Levi rolled his eyes and stood up. He brought a hand up and tried to smooth down his hair which stuck up in all directions from Isabel pulling on it. 

Hanji closed down her phone and laughed. “Oh man. That was gold. Why were you guys fighting though?”

“Because Levi is a dumb-butt who doesn’t know how to have fun anymore,” Isabel offered as explanation. Levi turned and flipped her off. “You should be nicer to me. I’m an impressionable child. And I just want to not be in the car for a little. I’m so bored.”

“Why don’t we go and do something for a little while?” Farlan asked. “I mean I’m sure you’ll be fine with time. It’s only an hour drive so,” he added when he saw Levi’s expression.

“Holy shit. Fine.” Levi admitted defeat.

Isabel cheered and forced Levi to pull over at the next place that looked fun. Levi cringed when he saw the name of the town.

“There’s no way…” he muttered to himself. Isabel glanced at him but didn’t ask. When Levi parked Isabel opened the door and rocketed out of the car. Once Farlan and Hanji had gotten out of the car, Isabel grabbed their wrists and began towing them toward the beach. Levi followed with a sigh.

Isabel and Hanji dove into the water with their clothes on while Farlan flopped down on the sand. Levi stood beside Farlan uneasily.

“What’s wrong?” Farlan asked, opening an eye to glance up at his friend. 

Levi tapped his foot in the sand. “Nothing,” he deadpanned. ”I just know someone in this town. I’m wondering if they’re at home.”

Farlan nodded. “It’s that girl right? Um. Petra?” he asked. Levi didn’t respond. “You could go see her. Isabel is the only one who’ll care and you can just catch up later,” the blond suggested.

Levi glanced at Hanji and Isabel. “Maybe.” He bent down to roll up his pants and shed his jacket. “I’ll be back later,” Levi said quietly as he began to walk off.

“Are you going to see her?!” Farlan called after him.

Levi looked back. “Just going for a walk for now!” Farlan nodded and laid back down in the warm sand. 

Levi chucked his jacket in the car and slipped off his shoes as well. Walking down the street in nothing but a plain t-shirt and rolled up slacks brought back memories of high school when life wasn’t so stressful and friends were few and far between. Back home in Mitras, Levi only hung out with Isabel and Farlan but since he’d run away from home and gotten his own place he’d met a few more kids he liked well enough at Trost City High.

Caught up in his memories, Levi almost walked headfirst into one of the many streetlamps lining the sidewalk. He cursed and ducked into one of the side streets where cars couldn’t fit. He leaned against the brick wall that lined the left side of the alleyway and sighed. 

“I wonder if she even wants to see me…” he muttered to himself. Levi turned to begin walking down the street when he felt a hand tap his shoulder. Levi turned to see who wanted his attention and came face to face with a familiar smug expression and a mop of dirty blond hair fashioned far too similar to his own to be coincidental.

“Levi? That you?” the man asked. Levi offered a rare smile and the man grinned. “Well crap, it’s been almost eight years since I’ve last seen ya!” he said cheerfully.

“Hello Oluo.”


	19. The day we had the time of our lives (Evening)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of a perfect day for Eren and Jean. Levi still has a long way to go though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad cuz I had to cut out a chapter I really liked, but It just didn't fit anymore.
> 
> This chapter was fun to write and even though i like the before mentioned one ^ more, I think this three part chapter is my favorite. Once the story is finished, I'm most likely going to come back in and condense chapters, but for now this works.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the last part of this three part chapter!

“Hello Petra,” Levi mumbled uneasily.

The redhead herself rushed through the doorway and swept the short male into a hug. 

“Levi! It’s been years!!” She released him and held him at arm’s length with a sweet smile gracing her features. "Come in for a while.” 

Upstairs the apartment was messy, not in a disgusting kind of way though. The floors were clean and the walls a bright white that reflected the light well where the sun hit, yet there was paint EVERYWHERE. Two easels were propped in the corner and a large canvas was laid on the living room floor where a coffee table might normally be.

“I see you are still painting.” Petra looked back at Levi’s words.

She smiled and glanced at the mess. “Yes. I still love it as much as I did back then.”

Levi felt his stomach drop even if her words were innocent. He never guessed seeing Petra face-to-face would make him feel so nervous…or guilty. “Good. I hope you’ve been doing well with it.”

“Yes, I get commissions fairly frequently and people ask to buy some of the art I have lying around, so it’s been rather successful,” Petra informed him. “I am taking time off of commissions to work on a personal piece right now.” Levi hummed quietly to show he was interested but made his way over to the large canvas on the floor. 

Petra returned to his side with a glass of water. “You like it?” Levi nodded. He accepted the glass when she offered it and took a sip. She looked down at her own painting. It was a beautiful wide brush stroke that gave the painting the illusion of wind. Six angels dressed in green, each with one white wing and one black, glided across an orange and pink sky. An expansive landscape stretched below them with white-capped mountains and an ocean meeting a wide field of wildflowers.

“Those angels look a bit familiar, don’t you think?” Levi pointed out.

Petra laughed. “I hadn’t intended for them to look the group from high school, but it just seemed to end up that way and I thought it fit too well to change.”

Levi could easily pick out his friends. Petra and Oluo were flying close together behind his own angel with Eld and Gunther taking up the rear of their formation. Eld was glancing downward slightly, and the gaze led to the sixth angel. 

“Eren is in there too,” Levi observed. 

Petra smiled at the painting. “I’m not sure what drove me to paint like this, but it seemed important.”

Levi stared at Eren’s angel sadly. The angel’s one dark wing contrasted beautifully against the sky and Levi felt jealous of their flight.

“So, what are you doing out here by the coast? It’s a bit far from Trost. Not to mention it’s the middle of the week, so wouldn’t you be missing work?”

“I’m trying to fix a relationship, it’s not exactly going well since I can’t even find him,” Levi said calmly. Levi never found himself able to lie to Petra even if it was a better option. He knew her next question before she could say it.

“Oh. Speaking of relationships, how is Eren doing? Are you two still together?”

Levi visibly grimaced. “Uh, he’s the one I’m trying to find…It’s my own relationship I’m trying to fix. I fucked up and am facing the consequences.”

Petra frowned sadly. “Oh no. Are you alright? Is he alright? What happened?” Levi found himself glaring at the bombardment of questions. 

“It’s a long story. And…I wanted to talk to you about it actually. When I ran into Oluo, I was looking for your address,” Levi explained.

“Oh! Sure.” Petra glanced past Levi at her husband. “Oluo, could you start putting dinner on the stove? It’ll take a while to make and I think Levi might not want you snooping in on this part.” Olou seemed to jolt and turned to Petra, blushing a little at being caught listening in on their conversation.

“Yeah, I’ll get on that,” he replied and got up from his position on the couch whilst sliding his Gameboy SP into his pocket. Petra sat Levi down in Oluo’s spot after he disappeared into the kitchen.

She pulled up a chair and sat across from him. “Alright, tell me what’s troubling you.”

Levi blew a stray hair from in front of his eyes and began his tale. Petra listened quietly and solemnly as Levi talked. All the while, Levi felt a bit hypocritical, though it couldn’t be helped.

“That’s quite a tale,” Petra said quietly when Levi finished. “I’m not sure I can offer you much advice.”

Levi nodded. “I honestly didn’t come expecting much… I just figured, maybe, you could help since you’ve…been in a…similar situation…” Levi had difficulty saying the last portion of the sentence.

Petra’s eyes widened. “Hmm…All I can really say is facing the truth and moving on is better than grasping at straws until the last possible moment. Honestly, when you stopped responding to my emails and phone calls, I should have taken a hint.” Petra reached across Levi’s lap to clasp at his hand. “Eren may not want to fix anything with you, and you can’t hold it against him.”

Levi nodded and felt his throat tighten. “I know…”

Petra squeezed Levi’s fingers and offered a sad smile. “I think that heartbreak can be good. It can be a real eye-opener for some. It can mean a new beginning for some. In Eren’s case, perhaps you simply remind him too much of something he now wants to leave behind. I can also say that love born from a heartbreak can be much stronger. I know I found happiness from my own heartbreak. If you hadn’t broken my heart I never would have given Oluo a chance…and now, we’re married and there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t appreciate that.”

Levi remained silent. Petra sighed. “And you don’t have to feel guilty about what happened any longer. I’m happy,” Petra added.

Levi nodded and got up to leave. Petra hugged him on his way out and asked that he visit again sometime in better spirits. Levi wandered grouchily around town until Hanji drove up beside him.

She pulled up to the curb fast enough for her tires to screech and lowered her window to show off her sunglasses and a wide grin.

“Hey there, sweet thang. Why don’t’cha hop in and we’ll go for a ride?” she teased. Levi rolled his eyes and walked around to the passenger side door.

“Where’s my idiot sister?” Levi questioned.

Hanji took off her glasses and tossed them into the back seat. “She and Farlan are at the hotel pool. I got us a room. Two beds, so someone lucky gets to snuggle with you tonight!” She elbowed Levi. “You look like shit. Wanna go to the arcade?”

“Maybe a little…” Levi admitted.

Hanji parked in front of the retro florescent building and they broke a twenty at the change machine. The evening flew by with Hanji playing the backseat gamer to Levi as he clicked away at the joystick and buttons of Galaga and Levi watching with slight amazement at Hanji as she blew away the previous high scores on two different pinball machines. 

Hanji dragged Levi to the park after that and continued thinking of fun things to do until they passed a porch with a radio playing Best Day of Your Life by Katie Herzig.

“Oh! I love this song!” Hanji beamed. “Dance with me shorty!” She began bouncing around in the middle of the sidewalk and Levi covered his face with one of his hands.

“No way!” Levi shot. Hanji ignored him and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands from his face and dragging him around in a circle.

“Dancing’s fun though!”

Levi felt his face heat up as the laughter of a child from the porch rang out at the two dorks on the sidewalk. Levi sighed and dragged Hanji away from the porch. She continued singing the lyrics and dancing down the walkway until they reached the beach again. Hanji abruptly stopped.

“Let’s go up there!” Hanji called and pointed to the lighthouse at the end of the pier. She grabbed his hand and yanked him in the direction of the water.

The base of the lighthouse was cold and dark, but the beacon swooping overhead and the refection of the cities down the coast on the water made the area look almost mystical. Levi felt the water spray against his bare shins and sighed. 

Before Levi could even open his mouth to ask what Hanji had him doing up there she gave him his answer. “Levi have you considered what you’re going to do if this doesn’t work out?”

Levi pressed his lips together and ignored the question in favor of asking his own. “Hanji why did you come out here?”

“Because I think you may need someone there when you see Eren.”

Levi narrowed his eyes dangerously at Hanji. “What are you hiding?”

“Eren’s moved on. I can’t tell you it’s likely he’ll take you back,” Hanji stated bluntly.

Levi grunted in irritation. “I thought I had considered it. But I guess I haven’t. Eren turns me into such a moron. I just want to be with him.” He kicked a stray pebble off the pier and sat down cross-legged on the ledge as a distant sploosh reached his ears.

Hanji laughed teasingly. “You are such a pouty brat, but I think I can get that. It’s like how I couldn’t imagine not being friends with you or Moblit,” Hanji deducted as she sat next to him, her feet stretched out toward the water. Levi felt his eye twitch when he noticed how grimy Their bare feet had become.

Levi sighed again and glanced sideways at Hanji. “Something like that,” he said. He furrowed his brows as he tried to explain how he felt. “I just want him to be happy, but I also want his happiness to be with me. That is the best way I can describe what I feel. But, even before he and I fought, I just got this feeling that maybe his happiness isn’t with me anymore. It was before, but now… Just, what can I do?”

Hanji hummed. “Maybe you need to move on too.”

“I can’t yet. Not until I at least try.” Levi laughed sickly. “Petra said basically the same thing earlier...that I should move on. She went through something similar to this. It was right after I met Eren, so, six years ago. At the time, I couldn’t sacrifice my relationship with Eren to try again with someone I’d probably fallen out of love with, but it just seems so awful being on the other end of it.”

Levi could feel his façade crumbling. Hanji could probably tell. If there was anyone who could read Levi like a book, it was Hanji.

Hanji bumped shoulders with Levi. “Hey now, we could always turn around and run away. A lot of times that can be the better option. It doesn’t have to end in a big dramatic confrontation. I’m sure—Ah! Levi?”

With a steady hand Levi reached up to Hanji’s face, slipped off her glasses, and set them on the concrete beside him. Hanji remained silent while Levi buried his face in her chest; she simply leaned back on her hands and left him alone, glancing up at the sky.

“The night sky sure is pretty tonight…” Hanji murmured. “Hey Levi? You know...it’s gonna get better. I’m sure of it.”

Hanji got no answer, but she never needed one to begin with…

Even a town over, billions of stars dotted the sky overhead. It was one of the clearest nights of the spring. The vast expanse of space stretched out above them made Eren sigh in happiness. 

He reached up and brushed his fingers across Jean’s jaw. “This has been an absolute perfect day. I’m never gonna forget this.”

Jean smiled and let his chin drop onto Eren’s head. “I’m glad.” Eren shivered as the night air made goosebumps creep up his arms and he wiggled further into Jean’s embrace. Jean drew his arms tighter around Eren.

They were stretched out on a blanket on the beach leaning against Jean’s duffle bag that was now filled to the brim with dirty clothes. Jean peered upward and searched through the stars. 

“This is pathetic. I can’t even find the big dipper,” Jean mumbled moodily. Eren laughed.

“It’s actually called Ursa Major. It’s supposed to be a bear,” Eren said as he pointed the constellation out where it sat just above the horizon. 

“That’s stupid. It looks nothing like a bear,” Jean said with a huff.

“If you use your imagination and include the entire constellation then it might. The legs aren’t part of the big dipper, but if you follow the two bright stars that make up the right edge of the big dipper then the next bright star you see is Polaris, or the North Star. It’s part of Ursa Minor or the little dipper. From there you can find a lot of constellations. You’ll also know you’re facing north if you can find Polaris.”

Jean furrowed his brows. “Jeez, you really know your shit. Where’d you learn all that?”

“Armin.”

“Figures,” Jean said with a sigh. “What others do you know?”

Eren pointed up again. “Well if you look to the right of Polaris and find the sideways W shape, that’s called Cassiopeia. It’s named after a queen. The King who reigned with her, Cepheus, is just to the left of that. It looks like an upside-down house. And if you look back toward the little dipper and find the couple bright stars just above it, that’s the head of Draco the dragon.” Eren finished his crash course by trailing his finger down the body of Draco.

Jean looked around and saw a small kite shape constellation almost directly above them. “Which is that one? The kite?” he asked genuinely interested. 

Eren followed his gaze and spotted it. “Oh that’s Delphinus the dolphin. If you look southeast a little ways you’ll find Aries which is our zodiac sign.” Eren pointed out the little constellation.

“Aries is supposed to be a goat right? That’s so dumb it looks nothing like a goat,” Jean complained. 

“The Greek thought it did.” Eren shrugged.

Jean yawned and closed his eyes, tiredness overtaking him. He rolled over taking Eren with him so they were lying on their sides spooning. He nuzzled Eren’s fluffy brown hair despite it being a little greasy since neither had properly showered in a few days. Sighing, Eren shivered again but this time from Jean’s warm breath ghosting over the back of his neck.

Jean let his hands slide down Eren’s body, and the brunet made a noise when Jean slipped his fingers just under the hem of his shirt. Jean pressed a kiss to Eren’s neck and began to slide his fingers up Eren’s stomach, exposing skin and running his other hand across Eren’s happy trail.

“We are out in public you know? There’s other people still on the beach,” Eren reminded Jean. Jean immediately stopped and felt his face heat up. “We can find a hotel or go back to the car if you want to do that.” Jean shook his head no.

“I want to stay out here,” Jean said.

“Well then try and be discrete. Like throw a blanket over us,” Eren suggested.

Jean blushed even harder. “No! I mean let’s just keep talking.”

“Oh. Okay. What about?” Eren asked.

“Um…anything. I just like talking to you,” Jean admitted. “I always have, I guess.”

Eren laughed dryly. “Liar. You’ve said my opinions were stupid.”

With a huff, Jean pressed his face into Eren’s hair. “Yeah, but I still listened didn’t I?”

“You didn’t listen when I wanted to keep the band from breaking up.”

Jean rolled his eyes. “You’re still mad about that?” 

Eren rolled over to face Jean. “Not mad. I just regret it happening. It was fun and came to an end too quickly,” he said sadly. “Ymir on drums, Marco on keyboard, you on bass, me and Connie on guitars, and Mikasa singing. We were awesome!”

Jean raised an eyebrow. “You must be tone deaf. We sucked! We were only decent by the end, but by then we’d lost Marco, Connie, and Mikasa. It defeated the purpose if we weren’t including everyone, and the only reason Ymir could put up with us fighting all the time was because she and Krista went to the back to make out in-between each song.”

“I guess…but I still wanted to be a musician,” Eren pouted.

Jean grinned. “I still do. I just know my family will disown me if I do and the chances of me making it by myself are negative infinity.”

“What about a duet?” Eren said in a sultry voice. Jean blushed and then shoved at him, making him burst into laughter. 

Once Eren calmed down Jean slid a hand up to grasp Eren’s. “I miss high school. It sucked. I wouldn’t go back, but I still miss it. The free time, the lack of work, the constant hangouts for the band or otherwise. I wish we still had all that.”

Eren sighed. “I miss elementary school more. Remember when we still had naps and recess?” Eren’s eyes glazed over. “That was also before mine, Mikasa’s, and Armin’s parents all died or left and Armin’s grandpa took us all in.” Jean felt his heart clench at the words. “It was also before I met you, or Levi, or Hanji, or anyone else, so I wouldn’t go back to then either.” 

“Me, Hanji, and the rest of us are more important to you than your parents?”

Eren’s green eyes flicked across Jean’s face at the question. “Not more important than my mother, but I’d rather die than give any of you up.”

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it now: You are totally and undeniably a huge sap. You say the most sincere things without batting an eye,” Jean said with a sigh. He gripped Eren’s hand tighter and curled forward to bury his face in Eren’s neck. They were silent for a while, and Jean began to nod off, the pleasant bliss of sleep overtaking him and making his mind foggy.

Eren held Jean close as the taller male dozed, breath feeling humid across his throat. Yes, Jean was so important to him. If only he could find the courage to tell Jean about why Levi broke up with him.

Eren felt his throat tighten. “Hey Jean?” 

Jean hummed to show his attention.

“Why do you like me?” Eren asked. “Why do you stay?”

Jean was silent for a long while and Eren shifted to check if he fell asleep, but Jean suddenly sat up. Eren followed suit and offered a raised brow in inquiry.

“I was just thinking of all the ways I could answer that. And honestly I can’t think of a single reason other than: it’s you!” Jean said sincerely and animatedly. “It’s just you being you, and for some reason, I can’t fucking get enough of it.”

Jean smiled wide at the dark ocean as is sloshed up onto the sand. “Sometimes I wish I could figure out exactly why it’s always been you that I follow, fight with, find by my side. Then maybe I could stop caring so damn much, but just like all of our memories of high school and parents and friends, even if you absolutely suck sometimes, I’d rather die than give up my feelings for you.” Eren stared at Jean in awe. “So as for why I like you, I could say because you’re pretty, or that you’re the only one who will stick around me, but it’s not enough. I just like you. All of you. You make my heart beat like a drum and all I want is to run away with you forever, even if tomorrow marks the end of our literal road.”

Jean tore his eyes away from the sea to be met with the same hue of dark blue-green. Eren stared back at him with a cross between bewilderment and pure elatedness gracing his features. 

In a split second, Eren broke into a grin and shot across the blanket into Jean’s arms. He latched onto Jean and spilt all of his gratitude and happiness into that single hug. Jean held fast and nuzzled into Eren’s hair.

Jean smiled lovingly at Eren for a second before his smile dropped feeling the slight shake of Eren’s shoulders. “Oh my god. Are you crying? Like for serious?” Eren shook his head vigorously but still refused to let Jean see his face when the taller tried to lift his chin. Jean gave up and resorted to laying back down with Eren’s head resting over his heart. Eren fell asleep to the steady beat.


	20. The place where you were headed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the road for both their peaceful journey and Eren and Jean's happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAHHHHH! Another chapter up in the same month! and now we're in the 20's!
> 
> This chapter was almost stressful to write because of what happens next. UGH.  
> The next chapter has no promised date... and there's a cliff-hanger, so maybe i'm being meaner than i need to be, but god, there's too much info in the next chapter to slap this on the beginning of it. Like, seriously, I tried, but it didn't flow.
> 
> Bear with me while I write the next chapter, but get excited, because we are approaching the time of year when I have most available time to write. Hopefully I'll adopt the same schedule I had at the beginning of the year and get this done or very close to done.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Eren woke in a more comfortable position than he’d ever been in. 

Jean was awake, stroking his hair and singing softly. The song was in French so Eren couldn’t understand the words, but he still liked the melody and started tapping his fingers on Jean’s chest to the rhythm. Jean didn’t even startle, he simply paused the song and placed a kiss on top of Eren’s head.

The delicacy with which Jean was touching him made Eren shiver and the taller male wrapped his arm around Eren. “You cold?” Jean asked. Eren shook his head but snuggled into Jean’s embrace. A moment later Jean shifted and fished his letter jacket out of the dirty laundry bag they were leaning on. He draped it over Eren.

Jean decided to discuss something neither of them had thought about the entire trip, but now that they were literally at the end of the road, they had to decide what to do next. “We reach the end of the road today. When do you wanna go home?” 

“Never,” Eren answered.

“Alright.”

The single word caught Eren off guard. “You’re just agreeing?” he asked wide eyed.

“Yep.” Jean looked back in the general direction of the car. “All this time it’s just been you, me, and a car full of shit, but there’s nothing back home I’d want more than that.” Eren thought about why he left. Would he have anything to go back to either? Aside from Mikasa and his friends from high school…there wasn’t really anything.

They took off their shoes when they reached the sandy shores of an unnamed town. The drive hadn’t been more than an hour, John Mayer playing off Jean’s iPod. It was warm and sunny with a breeze cooling their skin and invading their senses with salt and sea. Getting out of the car, Jean shed layers until he was in a t-shirt and rolled up jeans. Eren rolled up his pants too but kept Jean’s letter jacket on. 

“Where are we Eren?” Jean asked, looking around at the scenery.

Eren didn’t answer but took Jean’s hand and began leading him down a trail that branched off the main path that led to the beach. The path was narrow, and the only sign that people had walked it before was the thin strip of dirt that marked the middle of the path. The canopy of leaves overhead let rays of sunlight fall and slip over them and made the atmosphere glow warmly. Eren smiled over his shoulder. “Just wait.”

Jean sighed loudly. “Come on, you shit. I’ve been hearing that answer for two months. Give me something.”

Eren laughed. “Fine. This place was really important to me and Armin back in the day. His grandpa owned a run-down little beach house. We spent summers there with our parents before Mikasa came along.” 

Jean allowed his eyes to linger on Eren’s face. Beautiful in the light, the brunet’s eyes shimmered with the feeling of adventure in rediscovering this old memory of his. In his daze, Jean walked straight into a stray branch that Eren ducked under, earning a loud snort from the smaller male. Jean swatted the branch away and suddenly felt a little too warm under the collar. Gorgeous bastard.

Eren continued as the path reached a wall of greenery. “The trips out here are part of the reason he and I both love the ocean and want to travel so bad. Armin’s grandpa may have sold the property to help support the three of us, but no one ever came out to live in the house.” Eren grasped at a few branches. “It’s still abandoned. The same furniture and everything is still here from when we owned it.”

With a grin, Eren yanked the branches away to reveal a tiny little cottage in the midst of a huge garden. A set of wooden stairs led down to the shore. The roof looked slightly rotted, but aside from that minor factor the whole cottage was in relatively good condition despite being abandoned for an upwards of ten years. 

Jean ran through the branches before Eren, yet the brunet had yet to inform him of the stone staircase directly out of the woods. With a scuffle of gravel, a swish of leaves, and a fair amount of cursing, Jean descended the stairway and tumbled straight into a cabbage garden. Eren gasped and watched as Jean’s motionless legs hung out of the overgrown greenery. A moment later, Eren leapt down the steps to see if his companion was alright.

“Holy shit! Are you okay?” Eren asked as he peered into the leaves. Jean didn’t answer and Eren leaned closer to see if he was even still conscious. “Jean?”

“HAA!” Eren yelped as Jean abruptly burst above the foliage, grasping Eren around the shoulders and dragging him down into the shady embrace of the garden. He couldn’t stop laughing even as Eren’s panicked struggles ceased and his own giggling filled the space. 

Eren pulled Jean out of the dirt after a few moments and led him closer to the beach. Jean was still cackling and gasping as he couldn’t seem to get enough air to fuel his elation.

“Oh my god! What drugs are you on you on?” Eren joked. “You fucking waster, stop laughing.” Though Eren felt his own giggles bubbling up again.

Jean abruptly stopped and leaned close to Eren. “Shit. I feel so good!” He was gone as quick as he came and Eren stood dazed for a moment as Jean ran down the stairs to the beach. He whipped around as if the wind caught him in its gust and called up to Eren. “RUN WITH ME UNTIL OUR HEARTS GIVE OUT!” Eren grinned wide enough for his cheeks to ache and dashed down to the sand.

Jean and Eren found themselves atop a large range of dunes that seemed to roll out from the woods like waves ready to meet the surf head on. Calling out in giddiness, Eren began to dash down the hill of sand. Jean took a running start before beginning his own decent and caught up with Eren abruptly. They both screamed at the top of their lungs as they ran as if to say, “Here we are, we are happy and free!”

Sprinting at high speed gave Jean enough momentum to slide down the face of the dune on his heels. Eren glanced over at Jean’s effortless sliding and attempted the same, yet he was a little less balanced and fell head over heels down the remainder of the dune. In the last few feet Eren stopped himself from flipping again and ended the ride sliding through the sand on his back. Jean jogged over as he slowed himself, lest he suffer the same fate as Eren, and flopped onto his back next to the brunet. 

They both gasped for air in the sand with the sun beating down. Again, they assumed the same positions within the cottage when they returned. Lying side-by-side on an old woven rug whilst the sunbeams fell through the skylights and a small stained glass window above the front door, Eren sighed.

“I’d give anything to own this place again,” Eren murmured to the silence. Jean nodded though Eren couldn’t see it. “The key I wore in high school wasn’t for my house. It was for this place. It was too antique to belong to a house in Trost. But, I decided to keep the key somewhere safer like a lockbox after Armin and I came back here for spring break and realized it was never kept locked.”

Jean peered around the room. The inside of the cottage was quaint. The wicker furniture and hammock on the screen-enclosed porch, the tiny, almost unusable kitchen complete with yellowed appliances, the antique TV with a dusty old SEGA hooked up, the presence of a bunk bed in the closet-like spare bedroom, a spigot directly to the left of the back door with a stone basin; all of it was like a child’s summer dream.

It was easily seen that the place was abandoned with all the cleaning that desperately needed to be done, but Jean found the dusty heat and distant sound of waves rolling over through the broken window quite comforting. Jean nodded off before Eren could say more.

Eren shook Jean awake well into the afternoon. Jean immediately felt his shoulders crack from sleeping on the floor, but he still felt content and sleepy with Eren leaning over him.

The pair walked along the beach to reach the car again, climbing over a small barrier of rocks that kept the private portion of the beach somewhat secluded. As they saw the roofs of distant houses come back into view Eren stopped. He held Jean back and offered a grin.

“Hey, for real. Let’s never go back. I want to stay right here,” Eren said.

Jean returned the smile and brought Eren in close. “Sounds perfect.”

They stood side by side facing the ocean.

Eren thought back to when he left, how unhappy he was. Jean had been unhappy too, preparing for a future he didn’t want. They were happy now, just standing on the beach, barefoot and looking like garbage. They only had $326.09 to their names and for the past eight weeks they’d been living out of motels and a shitty pickup truck. They were underfed and both worried and elated by the very near future, far away and cut off from their home for almost their entire lives and everyone they’d ever known, but happy all the same.

Eren rested his head on Jean’s shoulder. Jean was so important to him, important enough to follow anywhere. And Jean felt the same for Eren, or he wouldn’t have followed in the first place.

Eren didn’t want to call it love, but why else would he decide to do all this. He knew it wasn’t just a dumb fling. He’d known that for a while. So, Eren finally decided to tell Jean the truth.

“Hey Jean…” Eren began. “The reason I left that night, all those weeks ago…”

Jean stiffened and showed Eren his full attention. “Yeah?”

Eren no longer felt afraid to tell Jean how he screwed up. He was sure Jean wouldn’t run. “Before I left, I got fired from my job and kicked out of school. I’m not sure what started it all but, it just continually kept getting worse. Getting out of bed felt like a chore and rarely did I ever smile, I kept having second thoughts about what I was doing with my life. It’s the same feeling you described back at the music festival. I was completely bullshitting you over having my life together, but maybe I just needed someone else to tell me how stupid it was to think like that besides myself.”

“I was afraid to tell Levi though.” Eren frowned as his confession went on. “What kind of fucked up relationship must I have been in to be afraid to admit to my basically-fiancé that I needed help? Every time I normally had work or class. I would go just fuck around in the city or smoke outside the roller rink.”

Jean was honestly surprised that the reason had been so bad. “So all the times I found you in the basement getting wasted with Connie, you were just…”

“I was a deadbeat freeloader on the man I loved. It was so low. He had every right to be pissed, but I never imagined he’d break up with me.” The brunet sighed long and low. “I was probably just delusional though.”

“He still broke your heart,” Jean acknowledged. “As bad as you had it, it’s not like you were a drug addict, you were not endangering yourself. As stupid as it was, there was nothing in that list that couldn’t be fixed. I know exactly how you felt, or feel… You were trying to fit yourself into a future that no longer made sense to pursue.” 

“Most of that is true. It makes me seem like a brat for picking the boyfriend that agrees with my opinions,” Eren joked. Jean elbowed him. 

“There’s more isn’t there. It seems stupid for Levi to break it off because you wanted a different future profession.”

Eren squeezed Jean’s hand. “Yeah. I was being fairly self-destructive actually. Levi was mad about that, not so much the rest of it. Most of it healed by the time it was warm enough for you to see my arms, but I would—“ Eren was cut off by the sound of screeching tires and a motor revving. 

Jean whipped around, the noise startling him in the quiet moment. Eren peered around Jean and stared up at the car as it pulled into a parking space. That car looked familiar…

Eren grasped Jean’s hand tightly when he noticed who was driving the car.

Levi flew out of the driver’s side door before the car was even turned off. The black-haired man yelled something to the passenger before slamming the door and turning toward Jean and Eren. Eren gripped Jean’s hand tighter as Levi approached; Jean felt like he might faint.

Levi was running though, he didn’t appear angry, or even fazed by Jean’s presence. The pair could see Levi’s rumpled clothes and uncombed hair, tattoo bursting off his arm in contrast with skin that seemed paler than Eren remembered it. Eren jumped slightly as Levi blew right past Jean and threw his arms around the brunet.

“Holy shit…You’re safe, you’re standing,” Levi pulled back, “you are in very bad need of a good meal and a haircut, but…I’ve finally found you.” He said it desperately, and Eren knew he must have been running himself ragged if he were this disheveled. He’d never seen Levi like this. The dark circles under his eyes spoke volumes.

Eren was stunned. It took him a long while to summon the voice to speak. “Levi? What are you doing here?”

Levi looked almost scared to say his next sentence. “I want to apologize to you…I’ve come to take you home.”

Jean was sure his heart nearly stopped beating as Eren’s grip loosened around his hand.


	21. The moment you felt your heart rip in half

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi argue and both of their true feelings come to surface. Eren becomes more confused than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, update time!   
> I'm having a bit of writer's block as I'm stressed over failing my English class, but I guess whatever happens happens. Time to move on and try to do better. Writing this cheered me up in a weird way even though this is one of the most stressful chapters in the entire story.
> 
> The temperature is dropping quickly here which means possibly snow?? I was ecstatic when it snowed on Halloween (course I'm probably the only one).
> 
> Of course, I hope you enjoy this angsty chapter.

Eren couldn’t believe it. In a period of sixty seconds, his entire dream had transformed into a nightmare.

What the hell was Levi doing there? How?

Eren stood in bewilderment, his arms wrapped loosely around Levi’s back, not really returning the hug as he could barely register it happening. Yet, the moment Hanji appeared at the edge of the parking lot, running from her own car, all of Eren’s questions were answered.

With a snarl, Eren detached himself from Levi and walked straight to Hanji. “WHAT THE FUCK HANJI?” he almost screamed. He dropped his voice as he got closer. “I guess it shows that you care for him as a friend more than me.” Hanji flinched at his tone and felt tears prick her eyes, but put on a brave face for Eren’s next words. Eren’s voice contained desperation when he next spoke. “Why did you bring him here? I-I thought…” Eren trailed off.

Hanji stared at the ground in shame. “I’m so sorry Eren. It was an accident.” She quickly snapped her head up. “I didn’t say a word until he already knew. It was my phone background—our selfie and…and he saw it when I was asleep and…”

Eren furrowed his eyebrows. He wasn’t really angry with Hanji, but at the situation. He wanted someone or something to blame, but it was really no one’s own fault. It was collective. No single action could have prevented this confrontation. Eren turned back to Levi with a sigh.

“What do you want?” Eren snapped.

A flash of anger swept through Levi’s grey eyes, but dissipated as soon as it came. “Just to talk. I don’t expect anything, but I’m not leaving things the way they are with no closure.”

Eren wanted to scream; perhaps throw a tantrum. Levi came all the way out here to fucking have a conversation. 

“Fine. Let’s go,” Eren said with a jerk of his head. Levi’s eye twitched; he seemed to be growing tired of Eren acting like a brat already. Levi got into his car and slammed the door, watching as Eren followed. He peeled away from the curb and disappeared around a corner. Hanji felt herself deflate as soon as they left. 

Jean felt about as heartbroken as Hanji looked. As soon as Levi showed up, Eren forgot about Jean completely. He didn’t even glance toward his boyfriend after Levi hugged him. He was jealous and scared. What if Eren left him now that Levi was back in the picture?

The brunet turned around and adjusted her glasses nervously as she awaited Jean’s judgment on her. Except, Jean didn’t say a word. After a moment, he just fell to his knees in the sand. Hanji was taken aback at the action, unable to move in her unease, but she quickly realized what Jean must be thinking. She and Farlan sprinted over to see if he was alright.

“Jean?” Hanji kneeled down to check his head. “Are you okay?”

Jean shook his head wildly and he was so choked up that if he were to speak he was sure he would cry. Farlan peered down at Jean sadly while Hanji gathered Jean into her arms.

Jean sighed shakily. “Hanji…What-what if Eren changes his mind? I know that he and Levi are angry at each other, but Eren had said he still loved Levi. I’m so scared. I was scared to go home because of this…”

Hanji sniffed. “I’m sorry Jean…”

Jean quickly pulled back. “It wasn’t your fault. I mean…even if it is then I’m not mad, but…”

Hanji offered a sad smile to show her gratitude. She stood and pulled Jean up and walked him over to the curb to sit.

Farlan and Isabel hung around cautiously, Isabel perching on the hood of Eren’s truck and Farlan sitting down in the sand in front of Hanji. Farlan spoke quietly. “Um. I guess I didn’t realize what a big deal this was. I mean this is like a movie-grade love triangle.” Jean found it in himself to groan.

Hanji just slung an arm around Jean and held him close. “I know that it’s gonna suck now, and it’s the reason I came out here. Once I figured out how much he knew, I couldn’t very well lie to him, but I wanted to make sure you, Levi, and Eren would be okay. I couldn’t stand to think of one of you being left alone after all the fighting that’s sure to go down…”

Jean nodded. “Thanks Hanji…Hey, I think I’m going to make a phone call.” He jabbed a thumb toward the parking lot. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Jean got up and walked away. Hanji sighed and dropped her chin into her hands.

Isabel scowled and scooted forward to rest her feet on the front bumper. “Boys are really dramatic.”

“You are ruining my life!” Eren spat as soon as he finished his rant.

Levi glared through the windshield. He had yet to say a word as the first thing Eren did upon entering the car was scream about how angry he was at Levi. Levi eventually had enough and swerved quickly to smack Eren into the passenger door.

“Shut up,” he growled. “You said you would talk with me.”

Eren rubbed at his shoulder where he hit. “I am talking!” he shouted. “I’m doing more talking than you did the night I left! You are the one who broke up with me, left me with nothing, and are now crawling back. I’m pissed because I was happy with Jean and now you’re here and it’s going to ruin everything!”

Levi stared wide-eyed for a minute. “Slow down.”

“SHUT UP. I WISH YOU HADNT COME! CANT YOU SEE THAT I WAS HAPPY WITHOUT YOU!?” Eren cried, his voice cracking at his volume.

Levi cringed and felt sadness bubble up. “Eren… I need you. I love you. Every day since you’ve left I can’t stop thinking about how much I miss you and regretting what I said to you. You needed help, not for me to yell at you. But I’m not the most understanding person. I know. But I’m trying…”

Eren cut him off as soon as his voice lowered. “Trying isn’t good enough. You fucked up Levi. But now I’m better because of the time I spent with JEAN.”

“I still love you Eren,” Levi tried as he watched Eren stew and stare out the window.

Eren slammed his fist into the center console. “FUCK THIS! PULL OVER THE CAR!” he demanded.

Levi practically screeched to a stop in the middle of the road. He didn’t bother looking for a parking spot and just put the car in park once on the shoulder of the road.

“Eren…”

Eren reached over and slapped a hand over Levi’s mouth. Levi glared daggers over the hand but made no move to pull away. Eren seemed to crumble apart under his gaze.

“Please stop,” Eren pleaded. “I’m mad and confused! Just…” Eren’s frustrations surfaced with a shaky sigh. 

He looked Levi in the eye and glared. “Things would have been perfectly fine if you didn’t come after me. I would have gotten over you and been perfectly happy with Jean! But you came anyways! I bet Hanji told you that you should just get over me. I know she fucked up by using that picture as a background, but she’s not stupid. She’s a good friend and wouldn’t give you that kind of false hope.”

Eren continued. “But god there’s a reason I ran away! Because not only was my life in Trost was virtually over, but I knew I’d never move on if I saw you again. No matter what you said, you made me too sad.”

Eren buried his face in his hands before punching the top of the dashboard. “FUCK! ME! I still love you Levi! And you being here is reminding me of that! I know I’ll lose Jean if he knows that! Give me the chance to get over you!”

Levi snapped. “ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS EREN! DON’T BLAME ME FOR YOUR INDECISIVNESS!”

“I’M ALLOWED TO BE SAD FOR LOSING MY BOYFRIEND OF SIX YEARS!! AND DON’T YELL AT ME ANYMORE! IM NOT A CHILD!” Eren screamed.

“WELL YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT!” Levi argued. “NOT WITH THE WAY YOU ACT!”

“IF IM SUCH A HASSLE THEN WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?!”

Levi snapped his mouth shut. He turned away from Eren and stared at his white knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel. “I don’t…. know….” Levi admitted quietly.

Eren was suddenly reminded of Jean’s similar answer on the beach. He brought a hand to his mouth because he knew they loved him equally, that neither ever did anything they thought wouldn’t help him. All either of them wanted was his happiness because it made both Eren and them smile.

Eren looked on the verge of tears and Levi knew this was probably his last chance to win Eren back over. “Eren. I never stopped loving you. I-I just wanted you to get better. I didn’t want the scars on your arms, I wanted your eyes to sparkle like they did when you used to talk about your band. What happened?” Eren curled in on himself further.

Levi paused and watched the action. “I’m so sorry for being as harsh as I was, but I was scared. Scared that you’d hurt yourself beyond repair.”

Eren reached over and punched Levi in the arm. His voice practically dripped with malice. “And you thought breaking up with me was the way to get me over my depression?”

Levi shook his head. “You don’t understand! Even if I simply turned a blind eye to you and allowed you a second chance, it meant I was a danger to you. Simply because I allowed it to happen once. I want your well-being and happiness! I want to be a part of it! But if I’m now an enabler for a habits like biting yourself and drugs, then I can’t just sit back and let it happen.”

Levi took Eren’s hand in his own. “I only wanted for you to get back on your feet. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t do those things because you knew I was there to take care of you! TELL ME THAT!”

Eren said nothing.

“I didn’t let you stay because I knew you had to find your own way back up,” Levi murmured sadly. “But, you disappeared too abruptly, then even after you were better, you didn’t come back, and I wanted to leave it alone—I really did, but I couldn’t get over you, I just worked and drank until I collapsed so I could feel numb to losing you. I didn’t work and I knew I at least had to talk to you…”

Eren let out a shuddering breath and withdrew his hand. He put it to his face and Levi couldn’t tell if he was crying, but the urge to draw the ragged looking man in front of him into his arms like he used to be able to was so strong that his fingertips twitched.

“Hanji warned me. She told me I probably wouldn’t get you back and everything pointed against it, but the more it dawned on me that I might never see you again, the more I wanted to have you back. I don’t know if it was best to push you away or not, but I know that I need you,” Levi finished.

“I really love you, Eren…” the raven haired man said quietly to the suffocating silence in the car.

For a moment, Eren remained still, but eventually he dropped his hand from his eyes and wordlessly got out of the car. He slammed the car door hard enough for the whole car to rock. Levi watched as he ran off. Levi pulled his knees up into the seat and stewed. Eren didn’t pick him; Levi thinks for only a moment that maybe it’s Karma for him doing the same thing to Petra.

A long while later Levi was able to calm down enough to drive again. He slowly made his way back, having to take a slight detour because of what looked like a car accident backing up traffic. He eventually arrived back at the beach. Opening the door and letting his feet settle back onto the sandy parking lot the weight of what had just happened finally settled in. He felt hollow. 

“Hanji,” Levi addressed the brunette woman as he stood. She stood from his position on the curb next to Farlan and glanced back over Levi’s head to where Jean was lying on the roof of Eren’s truck talking to Isabel.

“What happened?” She whispered. “Where’s Eren?”

“We fought a lot. I thought he was coming back here to collect Jean though,” Levi said slightly perplexed. He peered over his shoulder at the back of Jean’s head and felt unease settle in his bones.

“Do you think he ran away again? He’s done it twice now…” Hanji mumbled.

As she said it Jean finally spared a look back to see if Eren had any intention of coming over and speaking to him, he quirked an eyebrow when he failed to spot the brunet and Levi could see the panic and anger harden his frame as he glanced around frantically for Eren. His eyes finally came to rest on Levi and he slipped off the car.

Levi felt himself yanked onto his tip toes by Jean grasping at his shirt a moment later. “What happened to Eren?!”

Levi glared at Jean. “I don’t know! He left me like an hour ago!” Hanji’s eyes widened and realization that something must be wrong seemed to settle upon them all at the same second. Levi cursed quietly.

Jean throws Levi to the ground. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?”

Levi can’t summon up the courage to say anything. His mind races for where Eren might be and all of a sudden the car crash he passed on the way back to the beach flashes in his mind. 

“We’ve got to go,” Levi said frantically, getting up and getting back into his car. “I think I know where Eren may be. I just hope I’m wrong…” The last part he said under his breath and only Hanji picked up on the words. She stiffened a degree. Jean looked like he was about to pull his hair out and got into the car with Levi without another word. Hanji removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes in worry. With a wave of her hand, she motioned for Isabel and Farlan to get in the car with her, and she trailed after Levi as he tore out of the parking lot.


	22. The day I woke up terrified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Jean find something they aren't quite prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I wanted to get these up in the same night, but I noticed some tense errors so I couldn't put it up right after the other since I had to run to class and wait to edit until after. 
> 
> FORGIVE ME.
> 
> But here it is! I hope I didn't traumatize anyone too bad with that few hour break between these updates.

“Hey…Mikasa?”

“Jean?”

Jean smiled at the sound of her voice and pressed the phone closer to his ear. “Yep, it’s me.”

“JEAN! I’M SO GLAD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE YOU HAVE NO IDEA EVERYONE HAS BEEN SO WORRIED EVER SINCE LEVI LEFT!!” Mikasa sounded beyond relieved and Jean could just make out the excited voice of another person in the background. “Oh my god. How’s Eren? How’r you? Did you beat up Levi? Are you coming home soon? Have you two been eating enough? Sleeping enough? You didn’t get into a crash did you? Why are you calling? I can’t—“

“Mikasa! Calm down. We’re great,” Jean began. “Well, were great.”

“What’s the matter?” Mikasa asked.

“Levi showed up a few minutes ago and I’m a bit worried about what’s coming next,” Jean admitted.

“Makes sense, but it’ll turn out okay,” Mikasa assured him. Jean sighed because she wasn’t even aware that he and Eren were together. He wasn’t sure if she’d rip Levi or himself limb from limb. He smirked a little at the thought of the girl he once crushed on/feared defending him by beating up Levi.

The other person in the background said something Jean couldn’t hear. He strained his ears to hear the muffled conversation happening on the other side of the phone. With a bit of shuffling across the speaker a new voice grated over the speaker.

“Hey Jean. It’s Armin.”

Jean hadn’t even realized how much he missed the blond. “Hey buddy, what’s up?”

“We all miss you two is what’s up, but I want to apologize. Levi asked me where Eren might have headed off to, and I told him about the old cottage. I figured Eren would be happy seeing Levi, but then again, I’m not really sure what happened between them,” Armin said.

With a sigh, Jean replied. “He and Levi apparently fought bad over Eren losing his job and stuff. I’m not sure if you guys know about that yet.” They gave hums in response like they might have suspected it. “He was explaining it when Levi showed up and then he just up and left with the guy.”

Armin was silent for a moment then he made a thoughtful noise. “Are you jealous?”

“Yes,” Jean answered without hesitation. 

“We’ve been in the dark for a long time and would love to hear about our best friend and you,” Armin stated with a tone that suggested Jean might not have much choice in the matter.

“I’m not sure I can disclose that information. Some of it might cause Mikasa to want to murder me in cold blood,” Jean joked.

Armin giggled over the phone. It wasn’t even the type of drunk giggle he’d get from Eren, but a genuine high pitched teenage girl giggle. “I knew you liked Eren.”

Jean sputtered for a second. Not to deny it, but from the sheer surprise that Armin had guessed that out of the blue. “Oh my god, how?”

“Come on, it was obvious,” Armin said with a laugh.

Jean rolled his eyes. “Ugh, I don’t think so. Like even if we did have that weird thing go on where we both failed out of school when we weren’t fighting after Eren’s mom died, it wasn’t like glaringly stupidly obvious. I legitimately thought I was straight.”

“Our collective gaydar is much too strong. There were wild signals flying from your direction,” Armin teased.

Jean covered his eyes. “Well I guess when I’ll get back I’ll have to get extra locks for my doors in case Mikasa feels the need to plow my head into the concrete.” That earned a laugh from Armin. He felt a big goofy grin spread across his face as he thought about what he was admitting to Armin and Mikasa. It was like being introduced to Eren’s parents in a weird way. “Ah, but Eren sort of liked me back and made me realize what a butt I was toward him. We’ve sort of had a thing going on for a while…actually…but now Levi’s here and I’m worried I’ll lose him.”

“I can’t say what’ll happen, but I’m rooting for you Jean!” Armin offered to cheer him up. Warmth spread in Jean’s chest, and with a smile he thanked Armin.

Mikasa took back the phone a moment later. “Jean.” He perked up at her addressing him. “I hope you and Eren work out, and if you get as close as he and Levi, I better fucking be in the wedding.” Jean laughed loudly at that.

“Sure thing,” he said. “I guess I just needed to hear your voices, I feel a lot better now.”

“Glad we could help,” Mikasa replied.

Jean hung up a moment later after he promised to go home soon. He fell into conversation with Farlan, Hanji, and Isabel his happy mood making him forget the current dilemma with Levi.

If only his mood could’ve remained.

Suddenly bright lights drew his attention from the road. There had obviously been a crash. Jean’s eyes drifted over the crowd to see if Eren was among them. When he didn’t spot the brunet he cast his gaze over Levi who looked almost green.

“Levi?”

Levi was mumbling something under his breath that Jean couldn’t pick out. The short man pulled over before the crowd got too heavy and got out of the car. Jean followed and peered into the sea of people, wondering if Eren were even here. Levi appeared beside him a second later and grabbed his elbow to lead him through the crowd.

Jean could hear Levi’s chant of “please be okay, please be okay,” now that he was closer. He felt his heart sink as his brain made the connection. Jean guessed what happened only moments before stepping out into the clearing around the crash. 

“Fuck…” Levi said in disbelief. 

In the midst of police officers and broken car parts, a single figure stood out like a neon sign in the wreckage. He had chocolate hair, dark olive skin, and was wearing a red and white striped letter jacket. Shiganshina colors.

Jean didn’t want to believe it—he couldn’t. “No…” he muttered desperately.

Levi took off running only to be stopped by a police officer. The short man scuffled with the officer for a moment, trying to break through to Eren, but another came and restrained Levi. The first officer began talking to Levi while he responded with a dazed look in his eyes. Jean stumbled up to the wreckage. With every step he continued to deny it, but as he got close to the police tape he could make out part of the word Kirschtien printed across the back of the jacket as a paramedic shifted the boy on the ground. Jean started sprinting.

“EREN!!” 

An officer rushed forward to tell him to keep away, but Jean slipped past him and ran for Eren. The officer was unable to catch him before he pushed past the other officers who were giving first aid to an unconscious Eren. Jean kneeled over the brunet and suddenly the world was blurry.

“Hey what the hell do you think you are doing?!” The officer demanded when he stoped beside them. He grabed Jean’s shoulder to pull him away, but paused when he realized that Jean was hyperventilating. “You know him?”

Jean can’t do much besides nod. After a minute he mustered the ability to speak. “Is he gonna be okay?”

The officer kneeled down beside Jean and made him face him. Jean’s eyes were wide, his pupils dilated, and his skin appeared pale as he sat pathetically on the asphalt trembling and breathing too fast. “Yes, he’s going to be fine. The ambulance will be here any minute.” He turned away when the crowd started to get too thick in one area and asked one of the other officers to keep Jean calm.

An officer with a low brown ponytail and freckles took her place beside Jean a second later. In his haze, he thinks that she looked like Ymir but unlike the smart mouthed friend he knew back home when she spoke her voice was calm and kind. “Hello sweetie. My name is Ilse Langnar. Do you know this man?”

Jean let his eyes fall down at Eren. “Y-yeah… He’s my…I just c-care about him a l-lot.”

Ilse watched Jean carefully. She let her hand fall to his wrist and moved Jean’s hand slowly until it met Eren’s chest. Jean sucked in a breath when he felts Eren’s heart beating strong under his clothing.

Jean couldn’t calm down. “T-there’s s-so much blood.”

“I know, it was a bad accident. Your friend here is really strong though. He took the hit and was still conscious when we arrived. He said his name is Eren Jeager.” Ilse smiled at Jean. “I’ll bet any money that’s your jacket he’s wearing.” Jean nodded again. He was still shaking, his hand just rested on Eren’s chest as he cried. He didn’t make any noise, the tears of relief that Eren would be okay ran down his face heavily as he covered his mouth with his other hand. 

“Shit Eren…”

Ilse and another officer bandaged up Eren’s head and other injuries. Jean watched quietly and the sounds of the sirens and all the bright lights and people just sort of blended together. He felt panic rise when Ilse left his side. He almost decked a paramedic when one of them grabbed his arm to help him up, but suddenly Levi was there telling him to get a grip.

When had the ambulance arrived?

Where on earth did Levi come from?

What was going on?

Why were people putting him in the ambulance too? Was he hurt?

Levi sat Jean down in the ambulance and stood next to him. He put firm hands on Jean’s shoulders and the pair watched in silence as the paramedics checked Eren’s vitals. Jean whimpered when he heard one of the doctors say that Eren had lost too much blood and needed transfusions. Levi’s grip kept him sane though. He was so glad for the older man being there despite the bad blood between them over Eren. 

When they arrived at the hospital Jean was separated from both Levi and Eren and began to panic again. Jean felt cold and was terrified when a doctor tried to escort him to a room. He tried to escape but was instead strapped to a bed as strange people hovered over him while he worked through his anxiety attack. Jean just wanted to feel Eren’s heartbeat again or Levi’s strong hands on his shoulders. Why was he suddenly alone? Was Levi with Eren? Shit. Shit. Shit.

Jean struggled against his restraints. He almost kicked a doctor in the face but they held him down and a nurse arrived with what Jean could only identify as needles of torture.

The last thing Jean remembered was a sharp pain in his arm, then the world went dark.

A quiet rhythmic beep…beep…beep…beep… slowly came into focus. A gentle shift in sheets. The smell of antiseptic. With slight hesitation, Jean opened his eyes and felt panicked though he couldn’t quite remember why. He just knew a moment ago he felt like he was in danger. His head rested against something soft and there was a warm spot on his back. The warm spot moved and Jean shot up in his seat.

“Calm down. You’re fine brat.”

Jean let out a breath and his shoulders slumped. Levi. Levi was there. Jean looked down at his hands and calmed himself down. It was Levi’s hand at his back, rubbing slow circles over the taut muscles. They ached from being tense for so long.

“Levi?” Jean asked like he wasn’t quite sure the raven haired was there.

“What is it?” Levi responded calmly.

“I don’t…” Jean trailed off.

“You probably don’t remember falling asleep in here. You were drugged pretty badly,” Levi explained. “Do you remember anything?”

Jean wracked his brains. He slowly started to recall the day’s events. Eren left. He found Levi. Eren didn’t leave. He looked for Eren. Eren was in a crash. He panicked in the ambulance… “Where’s Eren?” Jean asked quietly. He was scared to know the answer.

Jean noticed his jacket was draped over the chair that Levi was sitting in. The white was stained with Eren’s blood and the jacket looked much rattier than Jean remembered it looking on the right side, most likely from road burn.

Levi put his hand on top of Jean’s head and turned it so Jean was looking to his left. “He’s right here dipshit.” Jean let out a breath. Eren laid silently on the bed, looking peaceful even with a bloody bandage wrapped around his head. He was filthy compared to the pristine sheets and Jean realized he must look similar. Jean smiled as that jacket had probably protected Eren from getting worse wounds on his arms and upper body. The only really bad ones were on his head and left knee. Otherwise there was only a few scrapes, though the bruising was going to be bad.

Jean glanced down to see Levi holding Eren’s hand with his free one and his smile dissipated. He suddenly felt exhausted and laid his head back down on the bed. Levi kept his hand on Jean’s back until Jean was asleep. In his hazy last moments of consciousness, Jean was sure he felt his heart break.


	23. The day I took the first step toward my happy end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean struggles with his worries, fear, and emotions. It's finally time to make the trip home. Reality begins again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, this chapter was sad for me to write, but its still among my favorites so far.
> 
> School ends next week (yikes) and I'm super not ready for finals, but I needed a quick break from my homework so I decided to finish up the chapter and put it up.
> 
> most of this chapter was written in the wee hours of many mornings so I hope its not totally horrendous grammar-wise. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it!

With a snarl, Eren kicked a rock across the pavement.

“Fuck Levi… I can’t go back to him…” Eren paused letting the rock skid into a nearby sewer grate. He pulled Jean’s letter jacket around him tighter even though the sun beat down heavily in the bright midday.

Eren scowled heavily as he thought about how hard it would be to return to normal with Jean now that Levi had come back. Jean was probably really worried since he and Levi had left so long ago. 

Keeping a quick pace, Eren sang a few songs to keep his mind off the current dilemma as he crossed town. Unfortunatly, every song he could think of immediately reminded him of the issue at hand. Why did ninety percent of the songs on Jean’s iPod have to be fucking love or breakup songs?

He settled on Bad Kids by Black Keys. 

“Bad kids. All my friends are bad kids.” Eren sang to himself. “Products of no dad kids. Kids like you and me.”

He crossed a street.

“Bad kids. Ain’t no college grad kids. Livin’ out on the skids. Kids like you and me.”

Passed a group of kids playing DS by a bus stop.

“In class, we are a minority. Got no respect for authority. And won’t play well with others. We’ll steal from all your mothers.”

Noticed his grungy reflection in a shop window.

“Bad kids. All we are is bad kids. All my friends are bad kids. Products of no dad kids. Kids like you and….me…”

Sighing, Eren turned and punched the brick wall next to him, his anger pumping enough adrenaline into his system for him to ignore the pain in his knuckles. He dropped his hand and leaned into the wall, eventually resting his forehead against the warm, rough bricks.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Eren muttered to himself. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed at his tired eyes. 

Stealing himself he pushed away from the wall and made to cross the road. He was nearly back to the beach. Maybe once he got back, he and Jean could just leave and go back to their adventure. Maybe they could find part time jobs nearby so they wouldn’t have to go home. Staring at the pavement, Eren shoved his injured hand into his pocket as a pout settled onto his face.

“I just want to spend forever running to new places with Jean…why is this happening?” Eren groaned. “Why am I suddenly second-guessing myself?” Eren paused again, no longer paying attention to his surroundings. He spent a moment standing still and attempting to collect himself before progressing. 

He whipped his head up at the sound of screeching tires…

Exhaling deeply Jean watched the foggy sunrise through the clouds that billowed out of his mouth from the chill and the cigarette between his teeth. He leaned heavily into the monotone walls that made up the back of the hospital, his view marred only by a single car in view of the Marina at the top of the parking garage he stood atop. The tall buildings cast a large shadow that made him shiver as his eyes followed the contour of the dark blobs on the pavement with his gaze. He was still drugged to the gills on anti-anxiety medication and even though he could now remember most everything, life just seemed pretty hazy, like he was drunk.

When Jean had woken again, the heart monitor and all of Eren’s blood transfusions had been taken away; though without Levi or anyone else in the room, the silence was suffocating, so Jean had decided to camp out in the back lot to watch the sun. Not that it was much louder outside at six thirty in the morning.

The sound of the back staircase door opening made Jean jump and he quickly whipped his gaze to the source of the noise. Yet, his quick movement threw his balance off, and with a strange whimper, Jean swung his arms out awkwardly to catch himself on nothing but air. A hand caught the back of his jacket before he collided with the asphalt, and Jean sighed as the person set him down gently the rest of the way.

“Careful, brat.”

Jean only hummed. Levi quirked an eyebrow when Jean made no move to get up. He gaze became somewhat indifferent as he caught the glazed look in Jean’s eyes. Golden irises flicked upward to meet his.

“Hi Levi,” Jean droned.

“How are you feeling?” The raven-haired asked.

“Kinda shitty, but I have a feeling I was worse when I got here,” he replied.

Levi spoke quietly and calmly. “You had a panic attack. You were breathing too heavy and were screaming. You looked about to pass out so it’s no wonder they drugged you.” Jean remembered most of that.

“You’re still drugged up pretty bad, huh?” Levi inquired. 

Jean made a muffled noise of affirmation and turned his head to a slightly more comfortable position. “I always liked Jinae… Now I’m here, sedated and talking to someone I don’t really care for while lying on the ground behind the hospital where the guy I love most is recovering from a car crash.”

“Life’s a bitch like that,” Levi agreed. Levi swirled his cup around. They remained silent for a few minutes. “Do you hate me?”

Jean was silent for a minute as he mulled it over. He eventually shook his head as best he could. “No, I know you’re only doing the same as me.” Jean found the energy to lift himself from the ground and prop himself against the hospital wall again, legs stretched out languidly before him. “We both just like Eren. We want that stupid punk to be okay and smiling. You came out to the coast because you were worried and missing him, even if there was almost no chance of him still returning those feelings. I can’t say I’d have done the same thing, but I get what you were trying to do.”

Levi slid down the wall to sit next to Jean. When Jean glanced over, Levi’s silver eyes were locked onto his own. Levi’s pale complexion made him almost blend into the scenery as he looked as monotone as the shaded wall they leaned against. Jean opened his mouth to ask what he was staring at, but before he could, Levi swiped the cigarette from Jeans lips and stubbed it out.

Jean was silent and stunned. 

“You’re already pretty fucked. Take it easy with the nicotine,” Levi explained. 

Jean let his head fall back with a slight huff. “Every time I want to hate you, I can’t because even though you seem like a piece of shit, you do things like that.”

Levi spoke again. “Even if you can’t summon the energy to dislike me, I really hate you.” Jean looked at Levi suddenly. 

“What the fuck did I even do?” Jean asked. “It was you all along. You freaked Eren out and made him run away in the first place, then came and put him into a fucking crazy relapse of some sort, then pissed him off and confused him. He was probably fucking distracted while he was crossing the street cuz you fucking yanked him out of his happy place and straight back into a reality he doesn’t want.”

Levi frowned heavily at his shoes. “Eren has done plenty. And I may have no have a reason to be mad at you, but I’m still jealous.”

“I figured when I saw you after you left with Eren, I’d have a more compelling urge to punch you,” Jean murmured.

“I figured after YOU left with Eren over two months ago, I’d want to punch you more too…” Levi admitted. “What a strange understanding we’ve reached.” Jean snickered when he thought about it. 

Jean made a move to get up once the moment became awkward instead of funny, but his vision became blurry with the passing of a head rush. He wavered and brought a hand to his head as it passed. Jean felt Levi’s hand wrap around his bicep to hold him in place. Again, Levi was there to catch him. Jean leaned heavily into Levi, seeking the strange comfort that seemed to follow wherever the short man went. Of course there was also a fear that followed Levi, but at the moment it was unimportant.

The black-haired man grumbled a bit, but didn’t move his hand. “Come on brat, let’s just bring you back upstairs before you hurt yourself.”

Hanji looked surprised when they walked into the room together, but remained silent. She scooted over so Levi could share her seat with her as Jean occupied the only other chair in the room. Levi crammed into the seat with her and groaned when she threw an arm around him.

“Hey grumpy. How’s the sunrise?” she asked with a chipper attitude despite all the misfortune in their recent days. Levi simply made a grumbling noise and settled his head onto her shoulder in a weak attempt at more comfort. Jean flopped his head onto the hospital bed with a yawn, his hair brushing against Eren’s midsection. Jean idly wondered how he could feel so sleepy despite only having been up for an hour or so.

When Jean next woke there were fingers in his hair. Jean stirred and turned his head to face the other direction. Eren was sitting up and smiled down at him fondly, green eyes glazed over with sleep. Jean let his eyes close again as Eren stroked his hair.

“It’s morning, fuckface. Wake up already,” Eren mumbled down kindly. Jean smiled. “The doctors said I can leave today.”

Jean nodded and lifted his head. “We’ll have to get a ride back to our car. I left it at the crash spot. Hell, it’s probably been towed.” Eren snickered a little. “Are you on any medication?”

“Yeah. Pain shit,” Eren replied. They kept their voices so calm and quiet, like they might wake from the dream. Eren was okay. Jean was okay. Maybe it was just nerves, but Jean couldn’t help but feel they were in a limbo. Levi would come soon and they’d have to confront the problem.

All of the problems…

Everything was crumbling apart. Eren had been through some serious mental problems, and neither had a future they wanted, nor any money anymore. Neither Eren nor Jean had a job anymore, and both had skipped finals at school; or rather, Jean had. Eren no longer was enrolled at Trost University. The decision Eren had to make over who he was going out with was small compared to some of the other shit they’d all been through of late, and those were just the most prominent problems. 

Jean closed his eyes and savored the last quiet moment he’d receive before shit hit the fan.

Eren was released from the hospital an hour later. Jean felt his fingers tingle when Levi took hold of the wheelchair to wheel Eren to the parked car, his jealousy buried deeper into his heart at the shorter. Maybe Eren would hurry up and just quell Jean’s fears of losing him if he could at least pay his hospital bill, but no, Levi paid out of pocket like the financially secure company manager he was. 

Jean had laughed with Eren about getting his car back from the towing company, but Eren had ridden straight home with Levi while Hanji, Jean, and Farlan counted their cash, praying it was enough for the fine. 

Bringing Isabel back home while following Hanji on the empty highway turned out to be the highlight of Jean’s cruddy day. She was bubbly and cracked enough jokes that Jean could momentarily forget all about his apprehension over Levi, even if half the stories were about the black-haired man himself.

“…so we were runnin’ from the cops, Levi had the TV remote still in his hand, and outta nowhere, one of ‘em comes up and tazes Farlan,” Isabel recalled animatedly.

Jean’s eyebrows flew up in surprise. “Are you serious?!”

Isabel was laughing so hard she was gasping as she continued her story. “Yeah! Ya see, it was the blond one. It was, like, his first day and he’d been sucked into chasing the two of ‘em after the old geezer called the police. Well, he was all jumpy since Levi still had his knife from when they carved stuff into the wall under the bridge earlier when skipping school.”

Isabel continued. “He wasn’t supposed to, but he, like, forgot, and the older cop just shook his head and told him to go sit in the car. Levi stopped when Farlan went down, and just, sorta, accepted the fact that he and Farlan got caught stealing a TV an’ were gonna go to holding. The older cop ended up letting ‘em go after he brought them back to the station cuz the new cop kept trying to lecture them in the car and they didn’t actually break in since the guy’s door was unlocked, an’ they didn’t get away with anythin’ but the remote for the TV.”

Jean stared at Isabel because he had no idea that Levi was a Juvi, thug kid in his younger years. “Oh my god… so like, he didn’t get in trouble?”

“Levi came home with Farlan after and our dad jus’ laughed,” Isabel replied. Her grin stretched. “The best part though, is the blond cop that tazed Farlan, he got suspended a week later cuz he forgot to read a guy his Miranda Rights, and Levi ran into him one day when skipping school. They ended up being real good friends when Levi realized he was such a screw-up cop. The guy didn’t get his job back and went back to college, but he stuck around a lot after and hung out with Levi, and I think he’s the reason Levi and Farlan kinda cleaned up.”

“Really…” Jean murmered in wonder. “Jeez, so where’s this ex-cop now?” 

“It’s Erwin, ya dolt,” Isabel sneered. Jean’s jaw dropped. “It’s why he’s such a frickin’ goody-two shoes. His dad, like, ‘inspired’ him to be in law enforcement, but he’s too much of a dweeb tha’ he had to give up on bein’ a cop. He’s like got a master’s in criminal justice and works for some weird group of people I’m not allowed to talk about.”

“Holy shit.” Jean slumped back in his seat and tried to think of Erwin floundering in any situation to screw up as bad as Isabel claimed. He could not. That man was the embodiment of calm and collected. Of course, maybe his past was why he was so unfazable now.

Isabel launched into another story soon after, not finishing until they were standing in front of Levi’s childhood home. Isabel had quickly gone inside, leaving Hanji to talk with Kenny on the doorstep. Jean leaned against Eren’s pickup and attempted to call Eren’s phone. He had absolutely no idea if Eren’s phone had even been turned on since they left home, let alone whether he was even awake to answer it at the moment.

Jean gripped his phone until his knuckles turned white. He could only think of Eren resting peacefully with his head resting to the cool glass of the passenger window, the radio low as Levi drove down the road. Of course he would be driving extra carefully, mindful of Eren’s fresh injuries; one hand on the steering wheel while Levi’s free hand grasped one of Eren’s, or stroked his arm gently.

Farlan, Hanji, and Kenny all whipped their gazes toward Jean when a frustrated cry ripped from his throat. Farlan frowned and stared while Hanji bid a quick farewell to Kenny and made quick strides over to Jean. Kenny patted Farlan’s shoulder in goodbye before stepping back inside when the sandy-haired male couldn’t take his eyes away from Jean’s tearful scowl. 

Hanji prompted Jean to break from driving and they agreed to spend the night in Stohess. Though, lack of funds forced them to resort to a backseat camping trip in the bed of Jean’s truck. Hanji stirred the contents of a cream of mushroom soup can atop Jean’s mini stove while Jean and Farlan sat on the rim of the truck bed. Farlan stuck around since the only thing he’d be missing out on were his roommates getting shitfaced for the beginning of summer.

Hanji had joked about it, saying that a start of summer party sounded far more fun than hanging with a pair of losers like them. Jean had managed a smile. 

“I’m turning 30 soon,” Farlan began. “I may still look young, but a party isn’t always the best place to be when your friends constantly remind you that you’re going to be considered old in less than a month.”

Hanji snickered. “Hush you. I’m not gonna calm down ever. I’ll still be kickin when I’m a dusty old bat!” She whapped Jean between the shoulder blades when he remained silent. “Wake up Jean! Make fun of some old people! Show me your beautiful smile!” she prompted.

Jean slid off the car and threw his arms out. “I don’t know if I’m clingy or what, but I can’t just ignore the fact that my boyfriend is being driven home by his ex-boyfriend and is possibly falling back in love with his ex-boyfriend because he’s given me NO confirmation on his feelings for me since Levi showed up!” He sagged then. Turning back around, Jean noted the sad looks of the two from the truck bed. 

He spoke again. “Is that weird? When Marco moved back to Jinae for a summer is was heartbroken, but this is fucking ruining me.” Jean brought his hands to his head and mussed up his own hair for something to do. “Hanji, I know you can’t pick sides, it fucked up once and I wouldn’t ask you to do it again. Farlan, I barely know you… but, I just need to talk to someone.”

Hanji jumped from the bed of the truck and pulled Jean close. “You’re fine, hun. Don’t fret over us, we’re both happy as can be. You need a bit of work though.”

“What do I do Hanji?” Jean asked with a whimper. “I’m scared of so much right now. Like, I can get my life back on track, retake my finals, get a new job…but Eren is still my friend regardless of whether he picks me or not, and he’s got so many issues now. I want him to be okay. I’m clinging to this stupid competition for him because it’s small compared to other things, but it still hurts so much. I don’t know what I’m feeling…I want his happiness, but I also want his affection. I want my happiness, but I can’t let this go.”

Jean rested his forehead to Hanji’s shoulder. “It’s not just immediate problems either…Eren’s made me rethink everything. I’m so worried about the future because I know just coasting along and hoping my family will accept me again is not good enough for me anymore.” Jean’s tone slipped into borderline desperate, hoarse with worry and unshed tears. “And I don’t want someone to tell me it’ll be okay either…I know that won’t help anything. I need advice, I need answers.”

Hanji brought a hand to Jean’s back and pressed her fingers at the base of his neck. She dug into the knots there, making Jean wince, before pinching him hard.

“Ow! Fucker!” Jean spat has he yanked away. Hanji grinned.

She grasped Jean by the shoulders and shook him. “You can still feel pain, you’re still living and breathing and thinking. That means you can, and will, fix this because you’re capable. Maybe you’re not strong, and that’s why it hurts…but you can become strong.” Hanji slid her hands from Jean’s shoulders to cup his face. “You are realizing that you are deserving of something better and that is the step that needs to be taken first, but it doesn’t mean you are ready for long strides. Don’t worry about conquering this all at once. Baby steps can make anything easier, even this.”

“Just don’t give up,” Hanji warned. Jean nodded, a smile spreading across his lips.

Farlan interrupted after a moment. “Levi once dated a girl named Petra. She had to leave for college and by the time she returned, Levi had moved on to Eren. He left her no goodbye as they had lost touch, but despite the fact she knew it was time for her to move on, she couldn’t immediately and tried to ask Eren if he’d share Levi.”

Jean was surprised at that. He’d never heard that from Eren.

“This was a few years ago, and both Eren and Levi found themselves to be too selfish to share each other, so Petra fell out of contact with Levi again. We didn’t hear from her again until we received invitations to her wedding,” Farlan recalled.

He smiled then. “Levi almost didn’t go, but in the end he did make the trip, he left Eren home though. It was at that wedding where they both apologized and mended things between them. It still bothers Levi what he did to Petra, but all parties found a happy ending.” Farlan slipped off the car to join Hanji and Jean on the pavement. “What I’m saying is, no matter how fucked up this relationship thing seems now, you won’t know how it turns out until possibly ten years later. But, whether you turn out to be Levi or Petra in the situation, you’ll find your happy ending eventually. If you do turn out to be Petra, well, try and move on fast.”

Jean sighed. “Thanks Farlan.” 

The soup bubbling over broke the moment, but even when Jean burned himself removing the pot from the camping stove, the pain in his fingertips couldn’t take away from the light feeling in his chest. Jean thought about the steps he’d take to become better in the coming days and as the trio sipped at their soup in the darkening parking lot.


	24. The time you spent recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's life is a blur as he recovers from the car crash. Though, even through his haze, he believed life would be a lot less simple that it seems to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a bit of a hiatus. Christmas break was hectic even without school, so I took a little time to just exist. Though now I'm back to writing this while I should be doing school work.  
> This will probably be the hardest part of the story for me to write since I originally planned to end it when Eren and Jean reached the end of their road trip, but well, I got there and it felt unfinished so I kept going and now I can say this is more like the beginning of part two or whatever. Basically its the part of the story I have planned out the least.   
> Tags may change.   
> I'm also moving soon. I hope I update at least once a month even with that. 
> 
> Also, alfakyns did some lovely fanart for this story and it's literally one of the best gifts I've ever gotten.  
> http://alfakyns-art.tumblr.com/post/106992460183/for-the-very-lovely-ragequit4-and-their-very 
> 
> And lookatthisonepiecetrash made a mix for the story as well.  
> http://8tracks.com/strawhattrolls/you-me-and-a-car-full-of-shit
> 
> Thanks sososososososos much for those btw guys! 
> 
> my tumblr is here for anyone else who is wondering: http://ragequit4.tumblr.com/  
> i literally only reblog dumb shit for my own enjoyment.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this short chapter.

Dim light filtered through the open curtains, cascading over the bed covers and slipping over bare, olive skin where it stuck out in the tangle of blankets. Small raindrops pattered against the window and the roof spreading a dull thrum through the house. The quiet creek of someone walking downstairs stirred the sleeping brunet.

Readjusting his position to relieve the pressure on his injured knee, Eren opened his eyes and let his eyes fall to the familiar position of the door before they even had time to focus. He was at home. His and Levi’s home.

Now that they were back in Trost, Eren would probably move back in with Mikasa…but, without a job or anything…

Eren cut his train of thought and burrowed deeper into his pillows, groaning when his shoulder began to hurt. The cut on his forehead burned and his knee felt like it had swollen to the size of an orange. Eren thought about how much easier his life would be if he ended up dying in that car crash. Or rather his death would be. 

A sound that had become foreign to him over the past two months cut through the silence, and Eren whipped his head up in surprise, his injuries protesting the movement. Levi’s cell phone buzzed in the pocket of one of his suit coats that hung on the closet door. Eren made a mental note to turn his phone on later before he laid his head back down and pretended to be asleep.

The next week was a blur. Eren took Vicodin a few times every day when Levi went to clean his cut forehead. He wasn’t sure if he ever even touched his phone. He wasn’t sure what he said or how long he was awake. Sometimes he’d be awake and Jean would be showing him some old album in his basement with Marco playing left for dead in the background. Other times Levi would be trying to get a coherent thought from him before giving up and handing him a bowl of mac and cheese to eat. 

Once he woke and wobbled downstairs using the wall for support to find Jean and Levi arguing over something. He couldn’t remember what.

One day Mikasa came over and he was so so so happy to see her. She smiled when he said just that. Other days Armin came over a read to him for part of the day while he laid comfily in bed. Sasha left him a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread to eat. It was sweet and healthy with lots of nuts and seeds baked into the middle. He missed his friends more than his boyfriends.

When Eren was finally waned off the medication a little, he felt far more depressed than he felt he should. Anyone who spoke to him was worried about how he wasn’t leaving bed or was eating too little.

Another week passed and Eren finally seemed to reenter reality. He spent a whole day bundled up on the couch in Levi’s air conditioned living room reading heartfelt texts from over the past few months. He could have filled a book with the amount of text there was. 

Of course not everything fell back into place. Eren wasn’t sure what he had said, but Levi and Jean were acting much different than he’d imagined they would. They spoke to each other stiffly, as if they were acquaintances at work, which was odd given their usual speech patterns, yet they never fought over Eren, which at times seemed ever odder. 

Another week passed in mild confusion…

At the end of the month, Eren was finally well enough to get around on his own (mostly), and though he still took anti-inflammatory drugs for his forehead, he was coherent. He applied to schools for the fall, and filled out several online job applications every day. 

Mikasa worked with Eren to get his healed injuries to feel less stiff. She took him on walks and made sure he slept less. Jean took him to the local pool one day to try his hand at swimming. He did alright. Mikasa watched like a hawk from the lifeguard’s chair, but Jean was at Eren’s side the whole time, so she eventually calmed down. 

Eren got a front desk job at the student health club near Trost University. It was easy work for him and his stiff leg. Though he missed working at the hospital with Hanji. 

He didn’t get as lucky with colleges though, not like he was surprised. Levi told him to keep trying. 

Eren bought a used acoustic guitar with his first paycheck. Levi sighed but asked if Eren would play for him sometime. Jean smiled and said that he was one step closer to his old high school dream. 

Eren stayed with Levi. He couldn’t fathom why the short man hadn’t booted his ass to the curb since he’d never stopped seeing Jean, but he was glad. Levi was a special sort of comfort that Eren knew he’d miss. He thought that maybe it was something he said while drugged, but he couldn’t remember. 

It wasn’t until mid-July that life really returned to focus. The whirlwind of activity and recovery kept everyone from worrying about petty relationship issues and stopped Eren from seeing his friends as much as he would’ve liked to. Though, Eren still possessed a surplus of time home alone with nothing to do, so he played guitar. 

Already his fingers were toughened back up, and the movements and practices he did as a teenager came back to him in no time. He played songs from Jean’s playlist, practiced playing by ear since he mostly used tabs and music sheets back in the day. It was a good hobby, a lot healthier than what he did before he left, and it was something he could show to Levi and Mikasa.

Mikasa, he found out, didn’t get rid of everything having to do with the band. One day she dragged him back to their home and pulled her old standing mic and an amp out of her closet. They hooked it up the microphone in the garage and performed duets all afternoon. 

The following day, Jean picked Eren up from Levi’s house. Mikasa was already in the car, and Eren slid into the backseat and let the uncharacteristically cool breeze from the open windows wash over his body as he fell into a doze.

They went into downtown Trost and got ice cream before walking to the park plaza and sitting down to do more duets. Mikasa’s clear voice got them most of the money they earned as Eren’s guitar strums were still clumsy from lack of practice and a cruddy shoulder, but Jean pulled in a decent crowd after he stole Eren’s guitar and beat on it with his hands along with some simple strumming. 

Jean let Mikasa drive home so he could cuddle with Eren in the backseat, ignoring Mikasa’s gaze when he leaned to kiss the brunet. 

Eren was happy again. Levi took him on a date the following night. Their first in ages, and Eren enjoyed himself a lot, falling back into the familiar embrace of the shorter man. 

Eren couldn’t tell whether he should feel more conflicted over the matter. Probably. For now though, things seemed like they’d be okay.


	25. The night I told our friends our story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends and boyfriends alike find trouble at Sasha's first house party since Eren and Jean's return. Jean thinks a little more in depth about his situation with Eren at his friends' prompting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have way too much to say about this chapter. I fucking got my first version deleted when my antivirus decided to auto restart my computer. Fuck you technology! And I really miss the first version and kept getting blocks and just plain upset trying to rewrite the same words with the same flow and eventually just scrapped it and went for a different plot point. It'll work, but I'm still bitter.
> 
> I did get basically the same ideas across though, so I'm satisfied and will try and use some similar visuals to my deleted piece in the next chapter for my own satisfaction.
> 
> Now, this chapter was definitely longer than the others and maybe this is my cue to go back and condense the multi-part chapters while I think about my next step. Fix my tags while I'm at it. This story is about as organized as the rest of my life.
> 
> And sorry for bad proofreading if you find something, I was having a very off day and wrote this all in one sitting basically.  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

“What have I gotten myself into?” Jean wondered out loud to himself. 

The sound of the huge bass speakers in Sasha’s basement carried even up into the small guest bedroom where everyone was keeping their coats and where a violently drunk Eren passed out after getting into a fight with some homophobic douchbag and ingesting an alarming amount of beer and roofies.

“I’m going to fucking kill Sash for inviting that Marlow and Hitch to her party. It’s the only reason all those jackasses came,” Jean mumbled as he ran a wet washcloth against Eren’s split lip. The brunet was still rough looking from his run in with a car two months earlier, but this was ridiculous.

The hostess herself opened the door quietly and sets a bottle of Aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table before addressing Jean. “Your other boyfriend is on his way…”

Jean felt his heart stutter at that. “What?”

“Levi’s on his way. He said Eren butt-dialed him in the middle of that fight and that he’s been trying to call you for almost twenty minutes,” Sasha informed him. “Ah, I don’t know how to phase this eloquently, but uh, you’re fucking screwed.”

“Thanks Sasha,” Jean deadpanned as he looked at his phone and indeed saw at least ten missed calls from the black haired man himself. “I just have two requests before I die tonight.” Sasha nodded solemnly. “One. I have a hastily written will, twenty eight bucks, and the secret recipe to my mom’s omelets stashed in a little wooden box on the top shelf of my closet. Please dish out things accordingly and put the last two items to good use. Two. Point me in the direction of that a-hole that beat Eren up so I can have some form of closure before Levi comes and rips my spine from my body to use as a mantelpiece.”

“He’s showing off his hideous broken nose to his loser friends out on the front porch,” Sasha spit while motioning out the front window. “I don’t even know how he ended up here, but make him pay for fucking up our homie and crashing my party.”

I pulled my jacket off and laid it over Eren as he slept soundly on. Sasha followed me out of the room and locked closed the door behind her, leaving a sock on the handle as an extra measure to keep people out and peeled off with Connie once we descended the stairs to no doubt get a large crowd and possibly a video feed going. I went the other direction to look for a certain terrifyingly strong blonde to back me up in battle. 

Bertolt had said blonde in his lap when I spotted him. “Yo Bertl!” I yelped with a wave as I sauntered over. “Hi Annie.”

“What’s going on Jean? I heard Eren got in a fight,” the tall nervous brunet wondered. 

“Some loser called Eren a fag, and you can guess how that ended,” Jean informed him with a sigh. “Basically I’m going to rip that jackass a new one before Levi gets here and murders me, and there’s no one I’d rather have back me up in battle than Mikasa! But she’s not here, so Annie is my second choice.”

Annie looked up at me bemusedly and I could tell she was far more wasted than she seemed. “What’s in it for me, Jeanbo?” she asked conversationally whilst swishing what was no doubt some stupidly potent concoction that Ymir made in a dainty martini glass. 

“I don’t have much to offer besides whatever’s in my wallet and the satisfying feeling of crushing your enemies for the sake of a friend,” Jean stated with the slight hope that she was drunk enough to not care. 

“Annie, don’t do it if you don’t want,” Bertolt warned quietly.

“I never do anything I don’t want to do Bertolt,” Annie said evenly. “Take me to the offender,” she murmured dramatically, standing on the couch and leaping onto Jean’s back to cling like a koala. She handed Bertolt her glass and slipped her arms around my neck. 

Bertolt looked like he was going to argue, but before he could, Reiner burst into the room singing Katy Perry while the equally drunk girlfriends Ymir and Christa rode atop his shoulders squealing and yelling in delight. Jean found it in him to laugh before making his getaway and leaving a concerned looking Bertolt to deal with that mess.

Annie hopped down as Jean approached the front door and kicked it open hard enough to make the hinges rattle. “ALRIGHT FUCKBOYS! Get ready to have your faces pounded in!” She announced to the porch. 

“Jesus Annie,” I chided as I stepped gingerly onto the porch after her. I looked around at a circle of astounded faces before spotting a purpling lumpy nose and the face of Boris Feulner. Stupid frat bastards. “What the fuck are you still doing here?” I asked accusingly.

Boris shrugged. “I’ve got a rep to keep as one of the MP, upstanding citizen and all that, but that little faggot Jeager was picking a fight with one of my dear brothers and I couldn’t stand to let that happen, so I showed him a thing or two. I’ve done nothing wrong.” 

There was something likable about Boris at his best, as a freshman at Trost Uni the guy had been decent, stopping Annie’s roommate from picking on her before she moved into Reiner and Bertolt’s apartment. Yet, after spending time in the Military Police frat house with all the other hazing, judgmental bastards, he turned into one of them himself.

Jean shook his head and pulled Boris close by his collar. “You’re a lying bastard and thought you’d look tough beating up a gay guy after you roofied him. You’re gonna fucking pay,” he said menacingly.

“What do you care?” he asked. “You’re a decent guy Jean. You must see where those little shits have gone wrong. It’s gross, and Jeager has been flaunting it since high school. When are you losers going to up and find someone better to hang out with? I personally think—“

Jean’s fist collided with Boris’s jaw before he could finish. He dropped to the floor with a horrified look on his bloody face. “That’s my fucking boyfriend you’re trash talking, you scum!” Jean spit. The surrounding onlookers were silent aside from quiet rustles from Connie and Sasha who were posted in the bushes with Sasha’s old video camera from the band days. 

Boris put a hand on Jean’s ankle to keep him at bay when he took a threatening step closer. “Are you serious? You turned gay?” Boris asked in disbelief. “Man, Jean, just when I thought you were an okay guy…” he trailed off when he saw Jean’s glare.

Jean kicked his wrist away with little effort and Sasha cheered from her place in the shrubbery as Jean brought his foot down hard, curb stomping Boris into the wooden stairs of the old porch when the slimy weasel tried to squirm away. 

“I’m Bi you fucking asshole, and it didn’t turn anything you fuckwit. You don’t just change sexualities,” Jean bit to the limp figure underfoot.

Seeing Boris lay unconscious as Jean pulled his shoe away triggered the impending fight. Two guys from the chairs on the porch jumped Jean and tackled him off the porch onto the sidewalk below. Jean felt his head hit the ground in a jolt of dizzying pain as his teeth clacked together hard, fireworks exploding behind his eyelids. Connie abandoned his post next to Sasha as Jean hit the ground and leapt up, bringing his heel down onto one guy’s back hard. With Connie occupying one, Jean kicked the remaining guy off of him and set to pounding his face in once he straddled and hooked his ankles over the guy’s knees. Annie wreaking havoc on the porch cut in and out with the sound of pained cries and bodies slamming against the wood. 

Nearly the entire party was out on the front porch or observing from windows within minutes. The frat house outnumbered the measly three fighting against then by a lot, but Annie was an army, and Jean and Connie had been in enough fist fights through the years to hold their own against a couple of snobbish frat members. Ymir evened the score a little when she wandered out at some point and decked a guy saying the racket was “harshing her mellow”.

Jean was holding a guy down while Connie wailed on the poor bastard as Levi’s sleek black car screeched to a stop in front of the house. Jean looked up just as Levi was walking over, seething anger almost radiating off of his small figure. He yanked Jean up by the back of his shirt.

“Where’s Eren? What the fuck were you thinking getting him into a fight while he’s still recovering?” Levi snarled. “You have ten seconds to convince me not to kill you.”

Jean took a deep breath and rattled off everything that’d happened since he heard the sound of glass breaking in the basement. “See that unconscious dude on the porch steps? He’s a homophobic asshole and roofied Eren before getting into a fist fight with him. Eren butt dialed you at some point during that fight, probably when he fell on the table and broke a few beer bottles, and I dragged him away as soon as I got downstairs. Eren is asleep upstairs in the coat room with nothing more than a few new bruises and a split lip. I got Annie and went to go make the guy and his friends pay for doing that to Eren. And now you’re here, so before you decide with which method to kill me for letting Eren out of my sight on roofies, you might find satisfaction in showing these assholes the power of humanity’s strongest Bisexual.”

Levi gave Jean a venomous look before he released him and punched the guy next running up to them so hard the poor asshole’s tooth went flying across the yard. The guy dropped into the grass and Jean stared at his crumpled form in awe before Levi was hauling Jean toward the porch and shoving him down on one of the stairs next to a still knocked out Boris. 

“Wait here,” he said before yanking a guy down to his level by his collar and subsequently throwing him off the porch.

Jean watched in some weird mix of fear and admiration as Levi singlehandedly took over the fight and wiped the floor with every single one of those frat bastards. At some point Boris woke again and hauled Jean into a headlock before he noticed his stirring and slammed Jean’s head into the wood as payback. Levi was there in an instant. 

Levi grabbed Boris by his bangs and brought a knee up into his face. Boris shrieked as his nose cracked sickeningly after being broken once that night and pulled away as frantically as he could. Levi released him after he yanked him close and whispered a near silent threat into his ear. Boris booked it after that, the other members of the MP catching a hint and following after.

Levi didn’t stick around long after that, silently stalking into the house with the crowd parting around him. Jean huffed and settled back on the porch steps, Connie, Annie, and Ymir slumping down next to him. Ymir held out four beers to them, and they each cracked one open, letting the adrenalin wash off of them in waves. 

Jean was still shaking when he finished his beer, but he knew he’d calm down after another few minutes. He slumped forward and let his head rest on his knees, the distant sound of bass heavy music and general chatter flowing out the front door now that everyone had gone back inside. Crickets could be heard in the cooling night, no doubt a prelude to a dewy, sunny morning. Sasha came back out with some ice packs and sat next to Jean taking up the last space on the step. 

“Just like old times,” she said dreamily, as if reminiscing about the parties in high school when Eren and Connie would consistently get themselves into more trouble than it was worth and drag everyone else into a large scale fight or getaway. Jean actually couldn’t argue for once.

They all fell into a comfortable silence, Connie actually passing out with limbs sprawled across the steps. Jean almost fell asleep as well with the strangely calming scene. His eyelids fluttered shut, warm in his comfortable little ball with Sasha draping her lean, heavy frame against him and settling an arm across his back.

Jean jolted when the front door creeks, signaling another presence on the porch. He slowly sat up allowing Sasha to keep her arm around his shoulders and twisting to see who it was. Levi. A disgruntled looking Eren leaned into him. The brunet’s green eyes shimmering no doubt with irritation and anger at the whole situation; maybe a little shame.

They walked around the five twenty-somethings lazing on the porch and began their short walk to the car without a word. 

It didn’t sit well with Jean. “Hey, um, Levi? Eren? Need help or…?” Jean trailed off as Levi looked back.

“Eren’s too strung out to even process what you said.” Levi’s words stung, though Jean knew it wasn’t his place to be Eren’s babysitter, he did feel bad for leaving him alone in a room full of people who could potentially have been far more dangerous than they were. “Hell, what the fuck would you have done if he got alcohol poisoning or something?! I mean after the fact of him getting the shit beat out of him. He’s fucking recovering Jean! How could you bring him to a party?”

The group on the porch stared at Levi, appalled. Ymir looked like she was going to stand up and scream at him, but Eren beat her to the punch.

“Levi, stop,” he said weakly. With a huff he stood up straight on his own and glared at the short man. “I wanted to come. Jean included me because this would have been the first time for me to see all of my friends since I left. I miss them too and trusted Jean to look after me, and he did. He wasn’t the one who abandoned me. I walked off. He wasn’t the one who got me roofied. That was Boris and the other MP’s. He was the one who saved me and took care of me upstairs and stood up for me with only Annie as backup knowing he was probably going to get his ass kicked.”

“Eren—“ Levi tried to argue but the brunet cut him off.

“I know you’re doing it because you love me and I’ll go home because I’m tired, but jeez, sometimes you’re too much.” Levi looked like he might hurl. He waited until Eren sighed and waved back to his friends and other boyfriend to even move, turning away and going to get the car. 

Jean wanted to smile for Eren’s sake, knowing how brave he is for standing up to Levi so readily, but something in the exchange felt off. He settled for a slight wave back. “Will I see you tomorrow?” Jean asked.

“Yeah. And I hope you’ll have another party soon Sasha, because I don’t think those fucks are going to come back,” Eren replied. Ymir raised her empty beer bottle to Eren in agreement.

Sasha brightened up. “Sure thing Eren! Come back and hang out soon, but get outta here before you collapse again.”

With that Eren turned and walked to the car in silence. Jean was thinking about how he knew better than to offer walking him when the car was in sight, Eren JUST got over telling his other boyfriend he was too much, and Levi might actually go ahead and slit his throat in a jealous rage.

Until Eren did in fact drop to the ground mid-step.

“Shit!” Jean, Sasha, and Annie flew up from the porch and ran over to Eren, who’d gone completely fucking boneless again from being absolutely, undeniably hammered.

Annie stood and looked down at the half-aware brunet as Sasha and Jean helped him back on his feet. “Leave it to Eren to look completely sober while defending one of us. What a righteous idiot,” she observed quietly. 

“M’ not an idiot,” Eren mumbled against Jean’s shoulder in protest. He tiredly squirmed in an attempt to break away from Sasha and Jean and walk himself again but Sasha just laughed.

Levi drove the car closer and glared at the four of them through the windshield until they got their shit together and dropped Eren into the passenger seat.

“You know, Levi, it wasn’t me who abandoned him THIS time…” Jean mumbled with a hand over his mouth as he pulled away. Levi’s glare could have killed a lesser man who wasn’t the subject of Annie’s, Mikasa’s, and Eren’s glared over the years, though Jean still shrunk back a little under the gaze. Sasha bit her tongue to keep from laughing and even Annie smiled.

“Fucking uncalled for Jean,” Eren chided, lightly punching Jean in the jugular. Jean made a choking noise and backed out of the car. “I’ll see you tomorrow, but god, you both are asses.”

The group watched as Levi took off down the road before Jean deflated. “I’m not sorry,” Jean muttered to himself more than anyone. They retired back to the house after a while, eventually kicking anyone aside from their immediate friend group out so they could chill in the basement, aside from Reiner who was passed out drunk on the couch upstairs and Armin who’d left a while ago to pick up Mikasa from her night class. 

Sasha groaned at the mess, but still proceeded to litter more crumbs on the floor from the leftover chip bowls she was eating from. They all took liberty in tossing back a few more drinks from the leftover stock of booze before they could fit the remainder in the Booze Fridge.

Ymir was the first to break the idle conversation by throwing a random snack wrapper she picked up off the floor at Jean. “Soooo, you and Eren huh? Do I even need to wonder where that happened, or are my suspicions of you falling for his big gay ass on your little field trip going to be confirmed?”

“Shut up Ymir,” I groaned.

“Sasha and Connie have had a bet since high school, passing a solid fifty dollar bill back and forth every time a new installment of your rollarcoaster of a relationship comes to light. You at least owe it to them,” Ymir said slyly.

Jean cast a sidelong glance toward the pair scarfing down chips on the floor and they both offered a shy wave. It’s not like he and Eren had tried to hide it, but they never let anyone really know for sure because of the whole sharing a boyfriend situation. Jean sighed.

“It’s complicated…” Jean offered.

Sasha piped up. “So um, ARE you dating Levi too then? Or am I completely delusional and have miscalculated it all?” That spurred an onslaught of questions from Jean’s peers, and Jean squawked indignantly when Ymir asked if he was flirting with Levi when he acted sassily toward the older man. 

“I’m definitely NOT dating Levi you asshats!”Jean protested loudly. “Like I said it’s fucking complicated.”

Connie waggled his eyebrows. “Or is it complicated fucking? Threesomes can take some skill and flexibility for sure Jeanbo.”

Jean kicked Connie in the head. “You suck.”

“No um, I think you’re the one who sucks now,” Connie retorted with a shit-eating grin. “Is Eren’s dick really great enough to get you to question your sexuality?”

Jean mumbled something too quiet for Connie to pick up on, but Ymir burst out laughing. “Oh my god, that’s precious. You gotta tell him that.” Jean was flushed.

“Oh man. Was I right?” Connie teased.

“NO!” Jean burst, frantically slashing the air in front of him. “It’s more than that, he just…he’s not an intolerable asshole like he used to be, just…” He curled into a ball on the couch, clearly too flustered to continue and growing sick of how relentless Ymir, Connie, and Sasha were being. Marco got up and walked over to sit on the arm of the couch and pat Jean on the back.

“No need to tell us if you don’t want,” he offered soothingly. “It’s your call.”

“Yeah Jean, don’t let Ymir bully you,” Christa said yanking on said girlfriend’s ponytail. Ymir just grinned and let off a husky, “I love it when you’re rough with me.”

Jean finally uncurled once he realized no one was going to pressure him. “Just, it is embarrassing, I always denied liking boys so strongly that it became a mantra. I’m really sorry to every gay, bi, or whatever person here.”

Christa crawled over Ymir and took Jean’s rough bruised hand in her tiny smooth ones. “Don’t worry Jean. You were never like those guys who were here earlier. You never made us feel unloved.”

Ymir whacked Jean bluntly upside the back of his head. “You’re an idiot, but yeah, I can’t fault you. Just spill your cute little love story, so we can all stop guessing.”

Jean felt the need to burrow deep in the couch and never leave as he was shoved in the spotlight yet again, but he knew he’d be okay even without Eren there as Marco’s and Christa’s hands never moved and even Sasha remained quiet.

“I guess this is happening. Eren’s gonna kick my ass when he finds out I told you all without him,” Jean said with a breathy laugh. “It’s still new, I’m still nervous, and Eren had to pep talk me hardcore before I even had the balls to first ask him to do anything resembling a real relationship. Before that was probably the most confusing few days of my life. I just…” He trailed off unsure of where to start.

A glance around the room steeled his courage though when he only saw smiles. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Annie, kicked her feet up on the table and sipped at her beer. “Start from the beginning. The night you two disappeared,” she requested calmly.

Jean put a hand to his head as he thought back all those months ago. It was early august, so four months ago was… April. Just after his birthday. Everyone had thought Eren was acting funny then out of nowhere he just showed up…

“I guess it started when he called me up at three in the fucking morning asking if I wanted to skip town,” Jean grumbled remembering how fucking pissed he was. “Idiot had something to work out and that night was the one he decided he couldn’t take it anymore and packed up to leave. He was afraid to go alone, so he ‘wanted someone who wouldn’t care enough to ask’ to quote him.”

Marco knitted his eyebrows together in concern. “I wonder what he was thinking.”

“You know…I didn’t notice as much before, but he told me basically what was wrong at the very end of our trip but was cut off before he could finish, and now that I’m thinking back I noticed he was wearing knit gloves, even inside our house, and seemed so strung out…” Jean thought back to the image of Eren driving, dark crescents below his eyes, jittery. Jean had thought he just hadn’t been getting sleep, but the more he thought about it, the bigger the possibility that Eren was possibly drugged.

Jean took his hand back from Christa and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes willing the image to go away. “He was hiding something, maybe cuts? God. I think he was hurting himself really bad. He began to mention something about it before, and I’m thinking he probably was so much more fucked up than he let on even in the end. I know he was depressed. He cried in the car after we drove all night and decided to take a break in some random state park.”

Jean suddenly glared at Ymir when she nudged him with her elbow. “What?” 

“I know something cute happened don’t lie,” she teased.

Krista swatted at Ymir. “You are inappropriate at the best of times,” she scolded. “Something was very wrong with Eren and you’re worried about how their love lives were going at the time? Shame on you.” Ymir blushed a little but shrugged.

Jean bit back some nervous laughter. “Actually for those wondering we watched the goddamned sunrise while wearing each other’s letter jackets by mistake. Whoops!” Ymir cackled loudly while some others bit back grins or shook their heads.

“Way to keep up your game even in the face of an angsty man in his mid-twenties. Congrats man,” Connie joked. 

“It just got more comfortable after that. I didn’t know what had happened, but fuck, I was going to try and make him forget it. Things were pretty normal for us until we reached Kanarese and met Hanji and the music festival and maybe kinda almost kissed…” Sasha spit out her beer.

“No way,” she stated in awe. Connie held an equally flabbergasted expression, hardly even fazed by the fact that Sasha spit most of her beer on him. 

“What the fuck man?” Connie said as he stood abruptly splattering anyone in his near vicinity with tiny droplets of amber liquid. “That was fucking fast!”

Jean turned his head with a blush and grumbled. “It was at least a month after we left, and he started it. Don’t act like I’m weird. Please…”

“I will reserve my judgment until after your story,” Connie stated and walked off to get a fresh shirt from Sasha’s room. 

Marco smiled sweetly after him. “You know he’s not one to talk since you two are practically married yourselves.”

Sasha squawked. “NO! We’re platonic soul mates! Best Spuds! Fuck off!” And they did.

Jean retold the events from their trip. The confusing first couple of days he and Eren showed potential interest in each other, how they finally got over their unease and became a couple, how Levi showed up and shit hit the fan, and how the strange situation he, Eren, and Levi have found themselves in came to be.

“It was sort of just an unsaid agreement not to upset Eren since he has so much garbage going on right now. Levi and I argued when Eren was still taking some heavy doses of Vicodin for his head and knee and he came downstairs and said he loved both of us the same and that we ‘should stop being such colossal douchasauruses’. I was really hoping the first time he said ‘I love you’ to me would be more eloquent or romantic, but I guess he doesn’t even know that I’ve felt as strongly for him as Levi does since almost two and a half months ago.” Jean cut off to take a sip of his drink.

Marco hummed in thought. “If you stay with him, yours is going to be a shotgun wedding for sure. Make sure to invite me next month.”

Jean seethed. “Fuck you man! You’re like way more evil than you need to be sometimes.” He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “Basically the way things are working now is we’re sharing Eren until he’s fully recovered and has his life more sorted out. Though he seems kinda indecisive and I think I’m not the only boyfriend getting impatient.” Jean sighed. “It’s a shitty situation and is rapidly getting out of hand.”

“That’s gonna blow up soon. I mean all three of you are pretty damn aggressive, you being the most diplomatic, and I honestly doubt your mediocre attempts at convincing Levi to hand Eren over without a fight are going to get you anywhere,” Ymir stated. “You gotta woo the boy!”

Sasha almost dove over the table. “CAN I HELP?!” When Jean remained in stunned silence instead of saying no, she whipped around to face Connie. “OPERATION WINGMAN IS A GO!”

Connie grinned wide, “Don’t worry my man, we will get you your dear green eyed prince, and give a big ol’ fuck you to Levi in the meantime. Regardless of my stance on your relationship, I think theirs might be tanking fast from what I heard from both you and Sasha.”

Jean watched them silently, his expression unreadable.

“You okay?” Marco asked, waving a hand in front of Jean’s face.

Jean frowned. “Yeah, I think I’d feel better if we didn’t gang up on Levi though… as much as I want Eren to myself, they’ve been together for six fucking years… I feel bad every time I see them fight or do anything besides being a happy couple. When I first got together with Eren it was different. There seemed like a slim to none chance that Eren would EVER go back to Levi, but now that they’re essentially back together, I feel guilty.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes at Jean. “You’re weird.”

Jean shook his head. “I don’t know…”

Most everyone drove home after the conversation died down. Jean parked it on one of the couches knowing that while he was far from hammered (thanks to his boosted alcohol tolerance from his trip) he was not nearly sober enough to drive himself. Sasha threw a blanket and a pillow at him when she saw him dosing off. Marco and Connie were the only others who stayed, Connie retreating into Sasha’s room because “no it’s not weird to sleep with your best spud” and Marco sleeping in the large chair next to the couch.

They were all passed out in seconds.

Jean woke with a mild headache to Marco’s soft snoring and the sound of a pot dropping on the kitchen floor overhead. He spent around a half hour staring up at the ceiling until Sasha came down and jumped on him. With a sigh, he allowed her to drag him upstairs for smoothie popsicles, the humid air already pervading the house. Jean could smell the butter on the griddle as he sat down.

Jean considered his next course of action involving Eren over a lake of maple syrup and an island of fluffy, golden pancakes.


End file.
